I don’t know if this counts, because it was said by a little girl going into first grade, and everyone knows that little kids say all kind of crazy things…but this was totally out of the blue. We were riding the bus on the way back from a field trip, and she pointed to a house and said, “If this were Kentucky, that would be my grandfather’s house!” Uh…ok.
Ah, the choices. Gotta love working at a movie theater.
Customer: What time is the next [whatever-movie? [this is ignoring the HUGE display board showing all movie times in the middle of the lobby.]
Me: 6:30
Customer: How long is it?
Me: About two hours.
Customer: So what time does it end?
Customer: Is this movie appropriate for my kid?
Me: Well, it’s rated PG-13.
Customer: I don’t care about that! I wanna know if it’s going to scare my kid!
Bonus not-stupid-but-funny comment:
Customer: Can I have one ticket for War of the Roses?
Me: Uh…War of the Worlds, maybe?
Customer: Oh, god, I need to stop studying…
This wasn’t actually something someone said, but something a friend of mine did. She was trying to fax me something, but I kept getting a cover sheet and a blank sheet of paper. I called her and found out she was folding what she was faxing me so “nobody else would read it.”
Maybe in the context of the question, he was implying that Jewish people are difficult to deal with, I suppose.
Oh, I see. It just seemed to me that the reaction seemed a little hmmm…extreme?
“I’ve been called worse things by better people.”
I know I have. Difficult is probable the tamest perjorative adjective used to describe me.
But this guy was categorizing an entire group of people (a group to which the poster belonged) as difficult.
I can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. But it’s because I’m me, not because I’m Jewish.
The power had been out for several hours the day before and in talking with friends, one woman in the group said " I sure was glad the power came back on when it did. I really needed to use the toilet"
me: “Why, was it too dark in the bathroom for you?”
her: “No, I had to go number two and didn’t want to go if I couldn’t flush the toilet. You know, cuz the power wasn’t working.”
Different event. A discussion involving some engineering plans and the lady in charge (due I think to her husbands influential position in gov’t) read the legal description and a part included:
"…located at 47 degrees, 15 feet, 21 inches :smack: I just turned to the director of the department and we both just shook our heads in disbelief.
It is supposed to read Degrees, Minutes and Seconds
Many may not know this but someone in this position surely should.
I do a check-up call on my mom twice a week. If she’s not going to be there, she’s supposed to let me know because if she doesn’t answer I will contact her neighbors to check on her. Likewise, I’m supposed to let her know if I’m not going to call, and if I don’t call, she should investigate. She has the phone number of several of my neighbors.
One time I called her a bit later than usual. She was almost hysterical: “I was so worried! I didn’t know what to do! I was getting ready to call your neighbor.”
Well, Mom, you could’ve called me. (This suggestion went unacknowledged, as does any remark of mine that might suggest I know something Mum doesn’t.)
More recently, I called a bit early and got, “Oh, I’m so glad you called early. Your brother’s here and we want to go out to eat, but I told him we couldn’t because I had to wait for you to call.”
Well, Mom, you could’ve called me. (Again, no acknowledgement.)
I have no idea what’s going on in her head, but apparently the fact that I’m calling her on schedule twice a week means that she is not to call me ever, under any circumstances.
Slight nitpick…that’s not necessarily stupid. If the woman was living on well water, or was used to living on well water, it would make sense. When the power’s out, the pump doesn’t run–and thus if you flush the toilet, the tank doesn’t refill.
Aaaaand it couldn’t have been your stepson, or adopted? Og knows no white woman could ever possibly raise a black child.
Ninja Chick’s movie theather one reminded me of another:
Me: Can I have a water?
Concessions guy: What kind?
Me: Um, clean water, preferably?
Turns out he was asking about the size…
Then one from last year’s history class during our study of the Civil War:
Who won again? The east or west?
:smack:
We were discussing in Civil Procedure class how a case made it to the Supreme Court even though the case had not reached a verdict yet and appellate courts are only supposed to get cases that had reached final judgment. The professor was an elderly German man fluent in English but with a thick accent. He wanted to know how this case had gotten to an appeals without reaching a final judgment. He asked “How did zey get it up?”
The class burst out in laughter. He stood in the front of the class shaking his head and looking puzzled. He waited until the laughter had died and then asked the same question again. Even louder laughter ensued.
He waited until that too had stopped and rephrased the question and class continued sans laughter
No one would dare explain what had caused the laughter. He probably never understood what was so funny.
While visiting brother, a huge storm rolls through the city, and power goes out. He asks his wife to look out the window to see if it’s just their apartment building or the whole block. She looks and says that it’s just them, as a car going down the street had it’s lights on.
I can’t think of anything anyone’s said to me lately to match all the others, but here’s one of my ‘classics,’ from college:
A bunch of us went to Chicago for a long weekend, and wandered into Saks, where they were giving complimentary glasses of champagne at the entrance. I have no tolerance for alcohol, so I was a bit tiddly by the time we made it to the elevator. There’s a sign with the ‘Limit XXXX lbs,’ and for some reason the ‘lbs’ was in much smaller type than the rest, so all I saw was ‘Limit (some ridiculously large number).’ Turning to a friend, I queried, “Honestly now, how did they think they’d ever get 5000 (or whatever) people into this teeny little box anyway?”
I haven’t lived that one down yet, and it was 15 years ago!
Back when we were in university, hubby asked his friend for the time. His buddy said, “What, you mean, now?”
That was only the finishing touch. Again, I was 19 and looked probably 16 or 17. I was having absolutely no contact with the child. It seemed to me a veeery strange assumption.
You weren’t at the USNCO study camp, were you? Because someone asked that during a lecture on that topic.
Thanks, matt_mcl and Kyla. “Difficult” is, without question, the most polite perjorative adjective people use to describe me. And I ain’t that way just because I’m Jewish.
I was raised with the general rule that if you feel the need to preface a story or joke with “I don’t want to offend you if you’re (fill in the blank)” or “I hope no one here is (fill in the blank),” you probably shouldn’t continue. I should think this goes double for a job interview, and triple when interviewing for a job where tact and diplomacy are key skills.
Okay, I’ve posted this before so I’ll try to make a long story short.
I worked at an office equipment place, and a guy brought his new entry-level thermal fax machine to the service desk, asking for help connecting it to his computer. I glanced at it and said it couldn’t be done, but the guy was insistent. So I took the time to track down the service manual for the machine to see if there was an aftermarket RS232 available for that model, on the off chance. (This option was starting to become fairly common on high-end fax machines, but was still a rarity on consumer models.)
After confirming that there was no connectivity for his machine, I gently tried to determine why he was under the impression his machine had this feature – thinking he may have been misled by a salesman, or whatever.
Him: “Most faxes are black and white, right?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Him: “This one is computer-coloured. That’s why I bought it.”
At his point I think he’s talking about colour “faxes” that can be sent as attachments as a software feature of machines equipped with an RS232, provided the receiver has compatible software with which to receive it – and explain that the scanner on the actual machine is still only black-and-white – if you want to send colour attachments you still need some way of getting them on the computer.
Him: “No, that’s not what I mean. This machine is computer-coloured.”
Me: 
Him: “It’s the same colour as a computer, so it should be compatible, right?”
:smack:
That’s right, buddy. If it’s beige, you can connect it to your computer.
Sorry, I failed to make it short.
For that matter, LaurAnge, I know some folks who are older than they look, and who have kids younger than they look. One of the other grad students has a daughter who looks about eight or ten years younger than her… When I first saw them together, I thought they were sisters.
And for that matter, the question “Is he yours” doesn’t necessarly imply a parent-child relationship. Even if the other shopper knew your exact ages, it’s still entirely plausible that a 19 year old could be an 8 year old’s babysitter, for instance. Or you could be siblings (which could be consistent with different races if one of you were adopted, or step-siblings, or even just half-siblings). You could even be full biological siblings and appear completely different races, if your parents were both of mixed race.