Stupid things people have said to you

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
161

Yesterday I answered my business cell phone, as I usually do when it rings.

me: hello, this is TK
him: hi, I am trying to reach your neighbor at 2319 and I know you live at 2320. I tried to call them but their fax machine keeps answering. can you take my name and number and business down and leave it on their door?
me: excuse me? how did you get my number?
him: the phone company tracked it down.
me: I really don’t know who you are or what business you are in, and I am not my neighbors administrative assistant. I would suggest you keep trying to reach them through their phone or email.

The nerve of some people, and it’s also damn scary to have the phone company give out who people’s neighbors are when its NOT an emergency.

162

Wow, They went through the trouble of tracking you down and asking you to write a message because a fax machine kept answering, I guess they couldn’t be troubled to write a message and fax & mail it to your neighbor. I think this person should be put away for the safety of others. :smack:

163

I worked with a woman who claimed any man who liked a woman who shaved down there was actually a pervert who wanted to rape little girls. Yes, she was serious. :rolleyes:

164

What implications? That you have fair-haired ancestors? :confused:

165

Not to me, but yesterday I overheard a visibly pregnant woman say into her cellphone “I forgot to ask you, did you get the keg for the baby shower?”

That’s it, I give up, order me a rocking chair and some curlers, I’m so out of it I never realized kegs belonged at baby showers.

166

Or that we adopted her.
Or that she is from donor sperm/egg.
Or that she is the product of an affair.

None of these possibilities being subjects you necessarily want to open up with a stranger in the grocery store.

But then again, I have white friends who adopted two boys from the Marshall Islands, and they get very openly rude questions about the boys’ appearance and origins, so I shouldn’t be at all surprised that people don’t consider the more subtle implications of hair-color questions.

167

I’d say that would be worse, being as Scotland Yard is in London.

168

I recently had a gastric bypass, and when people find out about it, the usual reaction is “Good for you!”.

One overaerobicized body nazi I’m acquainted with had a totally different reaction.

BN: “That’s the wrong way to lose weight!”
Me: “OK, you tell me what the right way is, then balloon up to 350 lbs. and try it yourself. Good luck.”

The silence was deafening.

169

:confused:

Alright, now you’ll have to picture a smilie that looks like it’s been hit on the head and has little birdies and stars flying around it…

Sooo, Scotland Yard is a Scottish placename for an English police building in England on Scottish ground? Am I even close to right??
And if people from Scotland are called Scots, why aren’t people from Ireland called Ires?

(I hope that isn’t someone else’s ‘stupid thing someone said today’ entry.)

170

We’re not called Amers.

And yes, that’s my contribution. :smiley:

171

Well, that’s true, but we don’t inhabit Amerland either, do we??

And New Zealand’s inhabitants aren’t called New Zeals, right? It’d be funny, but no.

Thanks for contributing, SR, keep it coming!

172

My sister, who is a waitress, shared a few:

A fairly famous NFL quarterback was seated at one of her tables, with his son. He ordered a dinner entrée and a sandwich platter for himself, and something else for his son. My sister asked the man if he wanted the one-piece grilled chicken dinner, or the two-piece.

He looked up at her and asked, “What’s the difference?”

She managed to keep a straight face, and said, “Well, the one-piece has one piece of chicken, and the two-piece has two pieces of chicken.”

“Oh,” he said. “Then I’ll have the two-piece.”

(I’ll add, this football player has always seemed articulate and reasonably intelligent, in many television interviews I’ve seen. Sis said maybe he just had a dumb day. I said maybe getting sacked four thousand times every season addled his brains a bit.)

Her second:

(In a family sort of budget restaurant; think Shoney’s, Denny’s, Bob Evans type of place, but cheap) A couple was seated, and wanted the salad bar as they ordered their meals. Waitress Sister waited an appropriate amount of time for them to obtain and consume their salads, and then brought their meals.

The woman asked, earnestly, “Oh, do you want me to go get my salad bar myself? Or are you going to bring it to me?”

173

From the wife.

An argument she had with her ex.

She had accused him of something (she doesn’t remember what)
Him: Well isn’t that the horse calling the kettle black
Her: Horse?
Him: Horse, cow, whatever.

174

Maybe she was expecting something likea granola bar, only greener?

175

“Hello, this is ABC. Can I help you?” : :o
“Is this BBC Realty?” ;j
“No, this ABC. You must have dialed a wrong number.” :dubious:
“Oh, do you know the correct number?” :mad: :wally

176

While paying for my purchase yesterday at a well known Pet Store…

checkout clerk: "sigh, sigh, sigh, shifting positions
other checkout clerk standing next to her (I guess that aisle is the tag team aisle):
“What’s wrong with you?”

1st checkout clerk: “I’m, so, you know, blah, I feel like jello, you know, jello. I’m all wobbly, my legs feel like jello, blah”

Second checkout clerk: “blink blink”

First check out clerk: “I’m hungry”

177

Me: Man it sure was hot last weekend.
Guy at Work: No it wasn’t, there was a nice breeze.
Me: Oh OK, well the heat index was 110.
Guy at Work: But there was a nice breeze.

:smack:

178

At work, a manager called and asked if I could make up a marketing piece in English and Spanish. Sure, I said, just send me the text and I’ll throw something together. Manager said, “Well, I don’t know Spanish, so I’ll just send it in English.”

Well, I took two years of Spanish, but that was about 12 years ago, so I’m a little rusty. I told her I’d need the text in both languages.

“Oh, just type it into MS Word and hit the ‘Convert to Spanish’ button,” she said.

Another co-worker called and asked how to change text in a Word document. :confused: I had no idea what to tell her. “Um, see that thing in front of you with all the letters on it? It’s a keyboard…”

179

Not quite said to me, but said near me. Also, not as stupid as some of the other things people have contributed.

I was working at Target and a young couple was looking for something and not finding it. (They may have asked me for assistance, I don’t remember). I then heard the following conversation.)

She: We’ll try the other store, maybe they have it.
He: Why don’t you see if she can call the other store and find out?
She: Because the other store is <whisper> Wal-mart,</whisper>.

There were two Target stores in town, and I did call the other store once a month or so to ask if they had something- and answered calls from the other store more like once a week. But it was funny to hear a conversation in which there was confusion over whether the “other store” was the other Target or the evil W empire.

And more recently- and totally unrelated.

My great-aunt and I visited my brother and the girls. Which sounds like a harem, but really just refers to his wife, two year old daughter and two month old daughter.

Two year old is playing with a doll. She has diapered it, removed the diaper and tried to throw it away because it had poopies in it. (One diaper was no big deal, considering the rate at which baby goes through them, but Mom didn’t want a diaper with only pretend poopies in it to be thrown away- and two year old to demand more diapers).

Then she decides to feed the doll. She pulls up her shirt, and sticks the dolls face into her side.

Great aunt says “Is Dolly your sister?”

I had to laugh. It was pretty clear to me that Dolly was her baby- given that she was breast-feeding (Just like Mommy. Though I think Mommy tries harder to get baby’s mouth to where the nipples are…)

180

This reminds me of something that isn’t terribly stupid, but kind of funny. When I was a bad teenager, I rigged up a little device that allowed me to flip a switch a join to seperate telephone lines together. (This was long before the days of residential conference calling.)

I’d amuse myself and my friends by connecting up similar businesses and record them trying to retain a professional telephone manner while each believed the person on the other end to be a confused idiot.

The briefest call was between two pizza places, and one guy was completely unfazed:

I sometimes wonder if he did a double-take after he hung up, or if he just figured the other guy had reason to believe that their telephone number had been assigned in error. :smiley: