Stupid things people have said to you

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
141

Me: I play the guitar.

Idiot: Really? What kind?

Me: What do you mean? Electric?

Idiot: No, what kind?

Me: Like what make?

Idiot: No, what kind? Do you play lead guitar?

Me: Oh, what kind? Yeah, lead, rhythm, everything.

Idiot: Oh. Do you play basic guitar?

Me: Say what?

Idiot: Do. You play. Basic guitar.

Me: Do you mean bass guitar? Yeah, a little.

Idiot: No, basic guitar! Do you play it?

Me: What’s basic guitar?

Idiot: You don’t know? Wow, you must not be very good, then.

To this day I have no idea what he was talking about.


On a similar note, when telling people that I play, they'd ask what chords I knew. I'd look at them incredulously, then say "Um... All of them?" They'd invariably reply "All of them? Yeah, right! He thinks he knows all of them! What a liar!"

Overheard in the office behind me as I was typing this:

“My son is taking sailing lessons.”

“But not today, right?”

“Yeah, even today, in this pouring rain.”

“That’s crazy! There’s no wind when it rains!”

142

Back in February, I took advantage of some ridiculously cheap airfare to visit a friend of mine in Glasgow, Scotland. I work next to a woman who is very nice, but a bit ditsy. The day before I left, we had this exchange:

Me: Remember, I’m going on vacation tomorrow so I won’t be in for the next week.

Cow-orker: Oh, right. Well, have fun in Scotland. Be sure to visit Scotland Yard!

Me: Mmm. leaves before I burst out laughing

143

That reminds me of another one. This was mostly in high school, but still . . . The most common response to people finding out that I’m Quaker:
“You mean like the guy on the oatmeal?”
Obviously, we must bear a striking resemblance.

144

I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t know. My best guess was a male rhino.

Seriously, I’m guessing the point is it was a cow, but she’d never seen one up close, and assumed they were much smaller, and never noticed udders before?
Perhaps she’s related to Fr. Dougal McGuire? (“These are small, those are far away.”)

145

Oh yeah, my contribution.

My husband and I both have dark hair. Our 2 year old is very blond, just as I was until I was about 9. People often ask (not thinking of the possible implications), “Where does she get the blond hair?” I always want to say, “The mailman.”

146

You’re way cuter than the oatmeal man.

Years ago I would tell people I was a conductor, and they would say “Oh, like Keith Lockhart?” Obviously a lot of people were unaware of conductors until “that cute guy” started waving a stick.

147

I probably would have asked you what it was like working on the railroad… :smiley:

148

People have done that, too.

149

Reminds me of a stupid sign I saw the other day; there’s an expensive new subdivision of cookie-cutter homes going up on postage stamp lots nearby, and on the assumption that eurocentric names=classy, it has been named Scotland Yard. How dumb is that? Do Scots name their subdivisions The CIA or NYPD?? I’m sure that in a couple of years a new sub will pop up next to it called Interpol.

150

Yes, that would be a good guess. :slight_smile:

151

Whoa, freaky - The Weird One, you could be my twin. I don’t have a web picture to link to, but I could email you a picture if you’re curious.

152

a bull, judging from her oh-so-detailed description

153

Several years ago at work, I would drop things off to a guy that worked alone in his department. We both worked 2nd shift, but overlapped 1st shift an hour and left at 10, I stayed until 11. He stopped me one day at the start of my shift.

Ray: What did 3rd shift do with these last night.
Me: I don’t know, I wasn’t here.
Ray: But what did 3rd do with these?
Me: I don’t know, I leave at 11. 3rd comes in at 11. I wasn’t here.
Ray: I know, but what did 3rd shift do with these?
Me: I WASN’T HERE! I DON’T** KNOW!**
Ray: I know that. But what did 3rd shift do?

At that point, I left before I ran over him with my forklift. :rolleyes:

More recently, on the 4th this week my family had a cookout. We were talking about Discovery Channel’s “Greatest American” popularity contest. I was counting down the top 5 for them.

Me: Number 5 was Benjamin Franklin.
Sister: Oh yeah, all those inventions he made.
Me: Number 4, George Washington
Sister: What did he do to deserve that?
Me: :eek: :confused: Where do I start?

154

Well, Scotland Yard is actually a place, and it had that name before the Metropolitan Police were headquartered there. It would be more like a Scottish housing estate being called Quantico or Langley.

155

I’ve posted this one before:

<Gazing up at the clear night sky with a friend>
Friend: The sun is a star, isn’t it?
**Me: ** That’s right.
Friend:<looking around the sky a bit> Which one?

156

Had a customer once who complained that something was wrong with her car. She would turn her hub caps so that the Ford emblem would be upright on all four wheels, and couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t stay that way.

157

You know, I’ve been reading this thread, and for some crazy reason, I couldn’t think of anything to add. Until just now, when I remembered my brilliant coworkers.

Coworker: Hey Kyla, are you a geese?
Me: Am I a WHAT?
Coworker: A geese?
Me: WHAT?
Coworker: What’s your job at the Field Musem?
Me: Um, I’m a docent.
Coworker: OHHH.

I swear to god, it was the weirdest conversation I’ve had in a long time. I then overheard him telling another coworker that I could get them tickets to go to the museum, so I called to him “not now that you think I’m a goose!” and he yelled back “not a goose, a geese!”

OH OKAY THEN.

158

Oh… :o
Well, that actually doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Langley, especially.

OK, NEW stupid thing, then - a guy I work w/ claimed yesterday that women are all supposed to make an effort to be hairless, um, down, you know, there. “That’s how it’s supposed to be, that’s what’s normal.” No, dimwit, it’s normal for hair to grow where it’s always grown and up to each person to decide whether it stays or goes and to what extent. The kicker was when I disagreed and he shrugged and said, “It must be the generation gap we have.” He’s all of 11 years my junior.
:rolleyes: :wally

159

This fills me with grrrr!

160

Ok here is mine It’s not really funny, but its stupid, at least

I work in theatre, on the technical side of things. How it works is, that when a show is rehearsing if anything technical comes up a report of the day is sent out to the head technicians. Now in this show I was working, this one particular thing came up. It was in not one, but three daily reports, giving the exact location and details about what was needed. On top of that we had a production meeting to discuss the show, where surprize surprize it came up again, and everybody involved had a big discussion about it.

Now the day came to set it up, the guy who was going to be doing the work, who not only got all three daily reports, was at the production meeting discussion, got the minutes from the production meeting which outlined what he had to do, and who I talked personally with about this item said rather angrilly infornt of a group of people who had the same information as him “Why hasnt anybody mentioned this to me?!?!”

We were all stunned. It makes my mind hurt.

Also a few weeks later that same guy went to the coffee shop with me, I ordered some food as well, and so had to wait for it. He left and went back to the theatre. Well he got as far as the side door where he stopped for a smoke and to chat with some other employees. Now the side door is right next to the door to the offices where I work. Now someone was looking for me and instead of saying I was at the coffee shop where he left me, he said “I dont know probably the office, I’ll bring you up there” and was literally dragging this poor person all over the building looking for me when he was next to me two minutes earlier.

I really dont understand him.

The sad thing is that he is the Technical Director.

As I said earlier it makes my mind hurt.