For instance:
Walking down the sidewalk and a car passes by - honking to say “Hello”.
You turn your head, raise your arm to wave…
…and promptly walk into a telephone pole.
:smack:
Precisely 3 days after getting my car back after spending nearly $6000 on bodywork repairs, I backed straight in to my friend’s car when backing out of my garage. :smack::mad: In my meager defense, I do it so much (back out of my garage/driveway), that I’m sort of on ‘auto-pilot’ when doing so. I live alone, so there is usually no other car to worry about behind me. This time there was. I must have sat there in my drivers seat, with my head in my hands, for a good five minutes before I even moved from that position and got out of my car. My friend was not happy.
Ouch.:o
As a young teen I rode my bike into the back of a parked car. Reading a paperback while riding a bike is more hazardous than one expected. Even on a traffic-less street in a housing tract.
I did shoot myself once. Or more accurately had a ricochet come right back at me. Fortunately it was going real slow when it hit my sternum. Didn’t even raise a welt, but it did sting a bit.
A few years back I lost my job when the company I worked for was sold. About a week after I got my next job, for reasons I can’t begin to comprehend, I got into my car, drove to my old office building, parked, got out and rode up the elevator to the pertinent floor. The minute I got off the elevator, I realized what I had done. But by that time several former co-workers had seen me standing there stupidly in the elevator lobby. I didn’t even wait for the elevator down, I ran over to the stairway and headed downstairs.
I backed into someone’s car once many years ago. CRUNCH. We were poor as church mice so we hammered the dent back out and duct taped it and for many years I drove that miserable POS.
A few years ago, I missed most of a riding season when a friend who was supposed to be storing a motorcycle for me while I was away on vacation decided to take it for a spin and wrecked it. It sat in the shop for weeks. I finally got the call to pick it up and layed it down 15 minutes after I left the garage.
I once flashed my office ID at the local metro station, and then stood there confused for a moment why the turnstile wouldn’t open. :smack:
This is my father’s story, not mine. He once called his insurance agent of many years to get some forms for this or that insurance policy. After exchanging some pleasantries, he came to the subject matter. The agent said that he was busy that day, but he will get them the next day and send them over to my dad. Great. I expected them to finish the call at this point, but the topic then moved on to family and kids:
*Dad: How are your sons?
Agent: What are you asking, sir? I have just one daughter and she’s married to Joey. She’s doing fine.
Dad: 
*
That’s when we realized that the “agent” was actually my cousin* Joey’s father-in-law, who shared his (first) name with the real agent. Well, it only took them fifteen minutes to clear that up. The poor man even agreed to get those forms for us. 
*name changed
:smack: I was just thinking about my version of this. I only learned to ride a bike spring of senior year in HS, and I was trying to make it…that…last…little…bit up the gentle hill to my house. I didn’t make it, falling slowly into the fender of the car parked near the house. So embarrassing, and no paperback as an excuse!
ETA: My brother’s was hitting a parked car and going up and over the front of the bike, hitting his genital area so badly he had to stop and drop trou right then to see if he had done anything terrible to it. My Mom’s expression for anyhting that could hurt a guy’s genitals – “Harm can come to a lad!”
I did that exact same thing, for the same reason (except I hadn’t just gotten the car out of the shop!) My other friend was sitting in the passenger seat going “stop stop!” and I’m like “blah blah blah” and I feel worse about ignoring her than I do about hitting the car.
It was inconvenient for my friend who’s car got hit but I have good insurance so it took care of everything, including a rental.
Not 6 grand but I paid about 2K for transmission work, brakes, and a complete set of tires on my daughters car. I was still in the dealership chatting with a guy as she pulled it out into a busy road right in front of an oncoming car and got T-boned, totaling both vehicles! :eek::smack::(:mad:
Luckily there were no serious injuries. 
Things just fall out of my hand. It’s starting to happen a lot. Maybe I have the beginnings of carpal tunnel syndrome, or something. But I’ll be untwisting the lid off a bottle and it’ll just fuck off onto the ground. I dropped a glass full of water the other day. It’s like my brain forgets I’m supposed to be holding something.
When I was in the Army a few other soldiers and I were instructed to get these tables and chairs from an ISU90 (Big Green Storage Container) for a class the sergeants were giving to us. I was being a jackass screwing around and while loudly humming the James Bond theme I did this slow-motion roll over one of the tables and it promptly shattered into a thousand pieces. Everyone laughed at me and I laughed too because it was hilariously stupid, it was kind of hard to explain what happened to my NCO.
When I was a teen, I parked my moto near a railway bridge and went below with my girlfriend for a little flirty time. Yup, a train came across the bridge, hit the scooter and sent it flying; pretty much demolished the front end, but explaining it to my parents was much worse.
I managed to get my foot caught between the front fender support and the tire of my bicycle while going down a hill, and did a complete end-over flip. Sprained ankle and road rash.
Rented a motorcycle and took it out a mountain road that I knew very well. It had rained the day before, so there were muddy spots. Coming back, I went over a little rise too fast, hit a mud spot and slid into a large boulder. The sudden stop threw me over the handlebars, bunged my knee and skinned up my arm pretty good. Surprisingly, the bike was mostly unharmed.
I never expected to go diving in a nuclear reactor but I have, twice.
I never expected to work in the same building for over 35 years.
I never expected to live this long, despite some of the stupid shit I’ve done.
Walked into a Starbucks and bought a large coffee.
Walked over to the modification station.
Tore the tops off of a couple Equal packets and dumped the Equal into the trash hole.
Dumped the empty packets into the coffee and stood and stared at it while everybody waiting to modify their coffee takes a quiet step back…
[QUOTE=gigi;18308317 My Mom’s expression for anyhting that could hurt a guy’s genitals – “Harm can come to a lad!”[/QUOTE]
I am dying over here! Thanks for that addition to my vocabulary.
When I’m making stock I always have to remember to pour the stock into another container instead of down the drain when it’s done, like it was spaghetti water. One day I’m sure I will.
Never expected to read something like this.
I’ve never been to Starbucks. Do they really call it this? 
Holy shit.
Sorry for laughing but it just strikes me as funny picturing an inanimate object “fucking off”.
I hurt my back - badly - doing my first hot yoga class. New life rule: “No Hot Yoga.”