I go outside at break, to get some sun.
Same sun makes me sneeze, which I do every day as I’m walking across the parking lot to my car.
Today, I somehow managed to sneeze…and come out of the sneeze on one knee, with a twisted ankle.
How does anyone even DO that?! :smack: 
Ok, your turn!
Crud…wrong forum. :smack:
Fixed. I hope your ankle gets better, Taomist.
Moved to MPSIMS from Cafe Society.
This morning halfway to work I realized my shirt was on backwards. When the train got to our stop I made my fiance stand on the platform with me until everyone had gone and then I turned my shirt around. All I did was pull my arms into my shirt and spin it around so the tag was in the back but he looked at me and said, “You know you are on camera, right?” as though I was going to strip down and touch myself inappropriately or something.
I drove about 15 minutes or so to work earlier this week when I suddenly realized that I had left my laptop on my desk at home.
That would have been amusing to my team when I showed up without my secondary brain.
I wasn’t late for the morning meeting, but it was a close thing.
In my slow but steady quest to get the house cleaned, I bought one of those automatic shower cleaners.
The first two days I used it, I heard it operate, smelled the soap, and saw some of the liquid in the reservoir had been used. But I couldn’t see where it had been sprayed in the shower. So this morning I tried to peek around the shower curtain, thinking my head was above the max height the sprayer sprayed at.
It shot me dead in the eye. :smack:
Overtook someone a little too enthusiastically, and now my car’s “FAILSAFE ENGINE MODE” is on.
Hoping the bill isn’t too large.
In the course of about fifteen minutes I experienced the following emotions in rapidfire:
Sympathy
Amusement
Horror
Embarrassment
Fear
Anger
Disgust
Self-castigation
Gratification
Happiness
A man of about eighty and I exited an eyeglass shop together and, recognizing that he appeared distraught and lonely, I made a pleasant comment in his direction.
Within moments he had launched into a litany of his concerns which included an ailing spouse and a daunting explanation of how doctors had removed his testicles! Feeling queasy and uncertain, I searched for a getaway line only to have him pull me back with, “And then in my butt! They found a cyst the size of a. . .”
What had I gotten myself into with one unguarded moment? As I scanned my mental list of polite exit lines an awareness came over me.
A human being was standing before me who was so in need of a listening ear that he would divulge his deepest concerns to a stranger.
I calmed myself and paid attention, making the proper listening noises in the proper conversational pauses.
When done with his recitation of woes he suddenly looked started and said, “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this.”
I answered, “Sometimes life just gets so difficult we need to tell someone.”
He smiled in sheepish relief and walked toward his car. Just as I was getting into mine, with no small amount of relief, he returned. What next?
“Thank you so much for listening to me this morning. I feel so much better now.”
On the way home I began to laugh at the total absurdity of my little encounter with what’s behind the facade. Along with the hilarity I recognized the gift I had been given by a stranger - the sense of usefulness to others.
Never yearn to feel useful in your corner of the world unless you are armed with a sense of humor.
I wore a white shirt yesterday and spilled a large volume of iced coffee on it. Why did I get coffee on the one day I wore white? Because that’s how I roll. When I got to work I took it off (tank top underneath), rinsed it out, dried it out with the ridiculous industrial hand dryer, and put it back on, proud of myself for averting a crisis!
Until I saw myself in the mirror hours later and realized I’d rebuttoned my shirt not one, but two buttons off askew. I looked ridiculous.
And none of my coworkers told me.
That’s not particularly exciting, but it’s not been an exciting week.
Another wardrobe malfunction here: Wore a black skirt and a black sweater with various bright stripes on it to work. And black shoes, of course.
With a pair of navy tights.
Sigh.
I have a foolproof way of avoiding that problem!
Eliminate navy from your wardrobe completely.
(I did resort to that, actually.)
Tethered Kite: Great final line to cap off that story. 
I went running last night. I reached into my drawer of workout clothes, not being too particular about what I would wear. I grabbed my wife beater that had scrawled on it “Yes, I am a virgin” and headed out. So of course an old creepy dude eyeballed me. I’d complain, but I really can’t blame him.
As one who consistently holds the garden hose pointed at myself when cranking on the faucet, I sympathize.
wrong kind of goofy, nm.
I was walking up the steps in the carport and stubbed my flip flop on a step, which sheared the straps, ruining the shoe.
Made a thread about eating bananas that turned into a thread about hard thick cocks, through no fault of my own.
I drop my dog off at doggy daycare on my way to work. Wednesday, I got to the daycare place and realized I had left the dog at home…
I believed my cousin when he told me he would pay a bill for a storage place I got in my name for him.
I should have waited until today to start this thread, as I topped my own already.
I arrived at home after work, gathered my gear, opened my car door, and saw steam coming up from the hood. :eek:
We’re having known radiator issues, but I’d never seen THIS before. (Well…not on THIS car :dubious: )
So of course I popped the hood latch, got out, looked at all the lovely space where the radiator hose used to be…and realize that I’d closed the car door.
The already-locked car door. Safely securing all my things from anyone who might want them. Like…me, for instance.
Luckily, I’m still limber enough to climb in the apartment window.
Wish the CAR was as easy to break into. <sighs>
I had the second day of a jury trial on Tuesday, so I drove to the courthouse in my t-shirt with my dress shirt and suit jacket hanging in the car so I wouldn’t get them wrinkled. I didn’t have time to eat before I left, so I grabbed an Egg McMuffin and a large coffee in the drive thru of Mc Donald’s. When I got to the parking garage I got out, put my coffee on the trunk, put my shirt and jacket on, and hit the trunk button to get my briefcase, thereby launching my cup of coffee to about eye level and coming within a millimeter of drenching myself from head to toe. I didn’t even get a drink out of it.