# Stupid things you ought to know how to do, but don't

Another thread mentioned that a woman’s body temperature was 30C. And I wondered how warm that was in Farenheit, because I have no idea how to mentally convert Celsius to Farenheit. Yeah, it’s pathetic.

What dumb things can’t you do? Make me feel better.

Make coffee.

Whistle. Not in any recognizable sense.

30 sounds a leeeetle low.

Anyhow, for quick and dirty, you can multiply by two and add 32. More precise is T*(9/5)+32. (T-32)*5/9 to do the opposite.

Boy, if that woman’s body temperature is 30 C, she won’t be with us for long! 98.6 F = 37 C.

For starters, I can’t play a harmonica. Should be easy, right? I play several other instruments, but on the harp I sound worse than the stuff they wouldn’t let on Bob Dylan’s records.

Or, even better, ride a bike. Never learned!

Drive a stick shift. Understand how it works, and could do it if I had to (even have, once or twice). But I can’t really say I know how to do it.

Well, she was trapped upside down in her car in a river covered in ice. But yeah, that’s pretty darn low. And I know that now because you guys told me, not because I could figure it out.

Here’s the thread with the story.

Sew. Which is ironic, because I can tie lots of complicated knots. I mean, I can ram a needle through cloth and fix something to the point that the hole is closed; but the results aren’t exactly aesthetically pleasing. I’ve attempted my wife’s sewing machine, and that little project looks like five miles of bad railroad tracks. We have an agreement: I fix her computer problems*, she sews.

*My wife can render inoperable any computational device merely by expecting something from it. Her powers increase in inverse proportion to the amount of available time she has to finish a project. Asking her to patch up my socks occasionally is a pretty generous trade, under the circumstances.

I can’t curl my toungue, and everyone else can.

Socialize, and be comfortable with it.

Belch. Whenever I try, it sounds more like a duck quacking. I’m not sure if it echos.

Oh and spell. I can’t spell at all. I have to spell check all my posts.

Swim. Never learned.

And on the flip side of the coin, I can’t tie knots. Can’t tie my shoes properly - I always do two loops, because the wrapping around your thumb maneuver has never been something I’ve been successful at. Not even once- and I can’t do a french knot either. Which is ironic since I can embroider fine, but can’t do the tiny handful of finishing stitches than always are included in **every ** damn project I ever buy.

Parallel Park - I…I…never learned and just avoid it at all costs

Drive a stick shift - I probably could but I got the automatic on my car because when I bought it the ONLY time I was going to drive it was home from college on visits through LA traffic - yick! So I opted for a safer route for that.

Whistle a tune

Snap my fingers - I can do it but it generally makes very little sound

Blow a chewing gum bubble.

And to the OP, I offer this pic I took during a recent trip to Montreal.

I’ve always wanted to roll my R’s. I’ve never been able to.

I’ve never been able to do that really loud two pinky whistle. That would be neat.

When I was in Junior High, some people could lift up their tongue and shoot out saliva in a really thin, straight, line. I used to think it was awesome but couldn’t ever do it. I would like to be able to.

I’ve never been able to do anything of those, or blow bubbles with chewing gum. Also, the third thing you mentioned? We used to call it “gleeking”.

:smack: *Any *of those, even.