Well, not nessacarily crazy, But a bad freakin thing to say in seriuosness.
A week after my father died, A WEEK. This Family friend told my mother that pretty soon she would love another man, perhaps more than she loved dad.In front of my younger sister, and many other family friends.
Anything by Bill Walton.
A notice about a possible murder I read about a few years back went something like…
… the bodies of two women were found floating in the Bay on Tuesday. They had both suffered multiple stab wounds, been strangled, and tied with twine before being dumped. Police suspect foul play.
From a foreign policy analysis I read a few years ago (I’ve been trying to find it again ever since, but have no idea where it is from):
“None means none.”
From a news broadcast I heard a couple of years ago (paraphrased)…“A scientist working for some big, impressive university has determined that the
number of hurricanes originating in the Atlantic is likely to increase over the next
decade. At risk are the Atlantic and Gulf coasts of the United States.”
In October of last year, I told my supervisor there had been another shooting in the DC area. Her response:
Was it the same guy?
No, we’re hoping there’s a freaking army of serial killers out there.
I think this was said about Richard Feynman, when he died:
“He stood head and shoulders over those who came before him.”
Imagine that: he actually improved over his predecessors.
It may not be fully in the spirit of the OP, but here is an excellent site for utterances from mostly British sports commentators.
I once heard a weather reporter describe the weather as “unseasonable for this time of year.”
It annoys me when any newscaster reporting a big fire uses the line, “The smoke could be seen for miles.” Well, duh, smoke has a tendancy to be visible like that!
I think it’s a major weakness on behalf of MLB guys to refer to a batter as “the potential winning run” or “potential tying run.” I mean that tells you absolutely nothing. Technically the first batter of the game is the potential winning run, and the seventh batter in a 7-0 game is the potential tying run. What’s your point?!!? Just filling dead air.
(Another baseball pet peeve is putting up completely random stats. “Player X has been hitting .517 in his last 6 out of 7 games.” Yeah, well he’s hitting .190 for the year, so it was really convenient for you to make a random statistic and leave out the 127 previous at-bats where he tanked. 100% Meaningless.)
Not said, but written. Easier to document.
I have a Page a Day calendar at work, with 365 of the Stupidest Things Ever Said.
Some of them are pointless, like mistranslations from Chinese to English, but some of them are really funny.
Coworker : Where you going on vacation.
Me: The Daytona 500
Coworker : Really? where’s that?
1 year later.
Same Coworker: Where are you going on vacation
Me: New Mexico
Same Ignorant Coworker: I’ve never been to another country do you need a passport.
Note: from Massachusettes.
My stepdaughter, (who is by no means stupid, was just a young teenager at the time), was explaining how her mother and her mother’s new significant other had met.
Stepdaughter: " They met at one of those gatherings, you know, umm, Parents with Children."
Me: BWAHAHAHAHA Um, honey, as opposed to Parents Without Children? I think you mean Parents without Partners?
Stepdaughter: On the floor laughing
Just cracked us both up.
Note to bubba: It’s spelled Massachusetts.
Are you from Massachusetts or the co-worker?
“Note to bubba: It’s spelled Massachusetts.
Are you from Massachusetts or the co-worker”
Forgive me, I now live in New Mexico and am picking up the local customs quite well, illiteracy(sp?), ignorance, slower than my grandma driving, etc…
I worked with the quintessential cute little air head (no, she wasn’t blonde) One day she was standing with a number of other women. Without preamble I asked “Do you know how to tell when a man is lying?” She looked as though I was about to solve all her problems. I then said “His lips move.” Everyone else laughed. She stood opened mouthed for a moment, then said “Oh, its a joke.” and with a look of disapointment went back to her office.
I don’t really understand your consternation with these. The “potential tying run” is usually only mentioned late in a close game with runners on, and it just indicates that if he scores, the game will be tied.
As for “random stats,” a guy hitting .190 (below the Mendoza Line) who’s hitting .517 over the last seven games is a guy on a hot streak, and that’s the kind of information people watching the game want.
My brother.
One day I will get into my brother. He is 12 years old. He’s a straight-A student. He inherits the same intelligence that I do. However–he’s a big stupe.
The one I can think of off the top of my head: My family (mom, dad, brother, and I) play a game or two of euchre each night all of us are in the house this summer. To determine who deals first, we take a deck and deal one card to each person until one gets a jack; the person to get a jack first deals.
My brother: “What if no one gets a jack?” :smack:
There’s more. I just can’t think of it right now. But this child cannot comprehend things. . .
So you’re saying he’s not playing with a full deck? 