… sadly, a 5 year old child was killed when a big fuckin’ fish jumped into her boat. Her brother and sister were hospitalized, hit by the same big fuckin’ fish.
I feel it’s too soon for me to start making jokes.
What is it with the marine life these days? There was a story about a dolphin leaping onto a boat and breaking a woman’s ankles…and all these shark attacks. Crazy.
Crazy fuckin’ fish.
I will abide by your call for restraint and just add that last night I saw an episode of River Monsters where the host determined that a man was killed ten miles up the Orinoco or something by a jumping tarpon. Like I didn’t know sturgeon could jump like that, he didn’t know tarpon could thrive in brackish water. The locals thought it might be a river siren, but no siren was ever that ugly.
I was lucky enough to see a sturgeon as big as me jump only a short distance away. Very impressive.
The problem isn’t just a big fish jumping into your boat and thrashing around.
The bigger problem is when they jump at just the right time and you are tooling down down the river at 30 mph in your overpowered bass boat. A hundred pounds of anything hitting you at 30 mph is a bad thing.
I’m curious now – this case, the one from River Monsters (and I think that show had another jumping fish case as well), all the jumping carp incidents on the Mississippi. Anyone got strong enough Google-Fu to find something like a nation-wide death and injury number on jumping fish?
** Sturgeon kills 1, injures 2**
What will those Cybernatsdo next!
The folks up north will see me no more
When I get to that Suwannee shore.
These news items are always maddeningly incomplete. Any word on the sturgeon’s condition?
Per Wiki, “On August 24, 2010, a carp reportedly knocked a kayaker out of competition in a Missouri River race at Lexington in western Missouri.” They are in the Illinois River but aren’t yet large enough to turn into dragons. We’re shipping them to Israel and China (the Illinois is cleaner than Chinese rivers, so they taste better) but without a sufficient dent in the population to prevent almost inevitable dragonification.
The guy from River Monsters plays ridiculously stupid for a zoologist in order to add tension to a show that is ultimately about fishing. I couldn’t finish one called something like “Vampire of the Lake” because the “vampire” was obviously a lamprey. He was fly fishing for one to stretch the program because if he hung a raw pot roast from a rope he’d have one before the end of the show, shown in real time.
They only turn into dragons if you give them some Rare Candy when they hit level 20…