Submitted for your approval and derision: the cheesiest patriotic-religious mural in history!

[Ranchoth]

@Gestalt

I also found this gem, which is not quite as good as the one in the OP, but will do in a pinch: http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?artpiece_id=319#. It’s basically a mish-mash of soldiers from every period in history, ever (including but not limited to “viking” and “female Israeli”) bowing down before Jesus. My favorite little bit of ethnocentrism is in the fact that the arab and palestenian are depicted as soldiers in what I understand to be everyday garb, while most of the others are in fancy warrior uniform of some kind. Good times.

Something about that painting just reminds me of one of those scenes from the original Star Trek, when the advanced aliens of the week use their powers to choke everyone in the room.

It just needs the right music. (“Duuuuum, dum Dum DUMMM! Duuum, dum DUM duuuuum…!”)

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

@Gestalt

I also found this gem, which is not quite as good as the one in the OP, but will do in a pinch: http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?artpiece_id=319#. It’s basically a mish-mash of soldiers from every period in history, ever (including but not limited to “viking” and “female Israeli”) bowing down before Jesus. My favorite little bit of ethnocentrism is in the fact that the arab and palestenian are depicted as soldiers in what I understand to be everyday garb, while most of the others are in fancy warrior uniform of some kind. Good times.

According to the mouseovers, one of the guys standing in the back is a Black Knight. I’m torn as to whether make another back-of-the-bus-joke, or to reference Monty Python. What say you?

[carnivorousplant]

@Malleus_Incus_Stapes

According to the mouseovers, one of the guys standing in the back is a Black Knight. I’m torn as to whether make another back-of-the-bus-joke, or to reference Monty Python. What say you?

The Black Knight (King Richard I in disguise) from Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe?

[Sampiro]

@carnivorousplant

The Black Knight (King Richard I in disguise) from Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe?

And like the black soldiers, even the Black Knight is to the back of the crowd. Apparently Jesus has no problem with Jim Crow laws.

Are there any she-soldiers in that picture? I haven’t seen one.

If Jesus gave us the Constitution, I wonder if he also gave us the Spencer repeating carbine or the A-bomb.

[Zebra]

@Gestalt

This guy’s website is funny. Among other things, he lashes out at “progressive” and “modern” art movements, and considers himself an impressionist of some obscure French school of painting from the 19th century.

I also found this gem, which is not quite as good as the one in the OP, but will do in a pinch: http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?artpiece_id=319#. It’s basically a mish-mash of soldiers from every period in history, ever (including but not limited to “viking” and “female Israeli”) bowing down before Jesus. My favorite little bit of ethnocentrism is in the fact that the arab and palestenian are depicted as soldiers in what I understand to be everyday garb, while most of the others are in fancy warrior uniform of some kind. Good times.

It has Satan in it as well. I wonder if all his paintings have Satan and Jesus.

[Boyo_Jim]

@Sampiro

And like the black soldiers, even the Black Knight is to the back of the crowd. Apparently Jesus has no problem with Jim Crow laws.

Are there any she-soldiers in that picture? I haven’t seen one.

If Jesus gave us the Constitution, I wonder if he also gave us the Spencer repeating carbine or the A-bomb.

Jesus probably gave us Jim Crow laws, the separate but equal theory, and the Klan as well. Praise god from who all blessings flow. :rolleyes:

[Alessan]

@Sampiro

Are there any she-soldiers in that picture? I haven’t seen one.

There’s the “female Israeli” to the far right. She seems to be dozing off.

Also, what the hell is an “English Moore”? Thomas? Roger? Dudley?

[Sampiro]

@Alessan

Also, what the hell is an “English Moore”? Thomas? Roger? Dudley?

Since he’s to the back I’m guessing he’s Azeem from Robin Hood. (Maybe the MLK estate doesn’t allow people to paint Morgan Freeman either.) If he’s stewed it could be Dinty I suppose, but there’s already a Scot there so why be redundant?

Did England ever have Moor(e)s (however many or few 'e’s there may be?). Maybe he read Hound of the Baskervilles and thought the “if you value your life stay away from the moors” part was a warning against the cross dressing Arabs down the road.

I love the “there has never been a painting more timely than the new masterpiece from Jon McNaughton” review. That isn’t sourced. Because it’s obviously written by Jon McNaughton.

[Drain_Bead]

@astro

Where’s the homo? There should be a homo somewhere.

Boxer Jesus is enough homo for 2 paintings.

[Erdosain]

@Gestalt

I also found this gem, which is not quite as good as the one in the OP, but will do in a pinch: http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?artpiece_id=319#. It’s basically a mish-mash of soldiers from every period in history, ever (including but not limited to “viking” and “female Israeli”) bowing down before Jesus. My favorite little bit of ethnocentrism is in the fact that the arab and palestenian are depicted as soldiers in what I understand to be everyday garb, while most of the others are in fancy warrior uniform of some kind. Good times.

Check out the “Chinese” soldier to Jesus’ right. Has this guy ever seen an Asian person? Maybe that’s why he sticks all the ethnic types in the back.

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

@Zebra

It has Satan in it as well. I wonder if all his paintings have Satan and Jesus.

Where? I can’t find him.

Does he look like Palpatine in this one, too?

[carnivorousplant]

@Malleus_Incus_Stapes

Where? I can’t find him.

Does he look like Palpatine in this one, too?

Kinda sorta. He is standing next to the Black Knight.

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

He looks like an Auditor.

[Raguleader]

@Erdosain

Check out the “Chinese” soldier to Jesus’ right. Has this guy ever seen an Asian person? Maybe that’s why he sticks all the ethnic types in the back.

The Chinese soldier looks like Richard Gere. And how many Romans are in this picture?

[Henrichek]

It even has the WTC ruins in the background. That’s what prompted Jesus’ return?

[pravnik]

@Gestalt

This guy’s website is funny. Among other things, he lashes out at “progressive” and “modern” art movements, and considers himself an impressionist of some obscure French school of painting from the 19th century.

I also found this gem, which is not quite as good as the one in the OP, but will do in a pinch: http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?artpiece_id=319#. It’s basically a mish-mash of soldiers from every period in history, ever (including but not limited to “viking” and “female Israeli”) bowing down before Jesus. My favorite little bit of ethnocentrism is in the fact that the arab and palestenian are depicted as soldiers in what I understand to be everyday garb, while most of the others are in fancy warrior uniform of some kind. Good times.

If you look very closely in the background, you can see Kiss posing for the cover of the Destroyer album.

[E-Sabbath]

None. The Romans, they went the house.

[Spoons]

@pravnik

If you look very closely in the background, you can see Kiss posing for the cover of the Destroyer album.

Makes sense. After all, didn’t they lead the KISS Army?

[MsRobyn]

That mural is all kinds of messed up.

I honestly wonder if Mr. McNaughton has ever read the history of Everson, let alone the decisions. If he had, he’d have known that the SCOTUS sided with the Board of Education in a 5-4 decision; that is, that the use of taxpayer funds did not constitute improper government aid to religion, and that the Board of Education could pay to bus little Catholic kids to school. (IIRC, it was a public-safety issue, not really a religious one.) If Mr. McNaughton had really wanted to get his panties in a knot, he should have used Engle v. Vitale or Lemon v. Kurtzman instead. I will grant that Everson was the start.

[Sampiro]

@Raguleader

And how many Romans are in this picture?

Gore Vidal, who claims to have written most of the screenplay for Ben Hur (Heston said he didn’t), mentioned the huge significance of Romans in Christian movies. While they could never show a mainstream movie in the conservative flyover areas that involved anything remotely like S&M or orgies or the like, they crammed the religious movies chock full of 'em with Roman orgies, constant lashings, buff gladiators wrestling, etc…