I actually made this one for my best friend last xmas. It was so much fun! I highly recommend the kits on the web site - so simple and guaranteed to bring love and joy to the recipient 
I have for many years, yearned to cross stitch the following haiku (composed by moi, natch). Have at it Dopers… if you dare.
Theodore Sturgeon
was right; 90% of
everything is crap
If you get really ambitious, you can try this one:
We the Willing
Led by the Unknowing
Are doing the Impossible
For the Ungrateful
We have done so much
For so long
With so little
We are now qualified
To do Anything
With Nothing
I think “Do your own damn dishes” would be appropriate. At least in my house.
I love these.
sniff You are all so awesome!
I’d like to have Go Away to put on my back door.
I’m thinking of
Fuck:heart:
Off:heart:
And:heart:
Die:heart:
I’m really weighing the feasability of picking up a new hobby.
You know you want to. Cross over to the dark side! We have pithy comments to share with you!
Dangit, missed the edit window.
Here’s my Babies Suck and Bite Me:
This thread has inspired me. I see more subversive type sayings being stitched very soon.
“Cleanliness may be next to Godliness, but in my house it’s next to impossible.”
I think I need to do that one and hang it on the door of our 911 office.
“Quit whining, ya pansy!”
“Shit, or get off the pot!”
“You want fries with that?”
“Should I just shit a gold brick now, or can you wait?”
“What the FUCK is your problem?!”
“You’re a grouch, but I love you anyway, so there!”
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a while.”
“Don’t talk to me yet, I haven’t had any caffine and I might say what I really think.”
“You don’t want my true opinion.”
B. I. T. C. H. Being In Total Control (of) Herself
“You say that like it’s a bad thing!”
“Where am I going, and what the fuck is up with this handbasket?!”
“Putting make-up and a nice dress on, doesn’t make one a lady.”
for a disgruntled Kansan: “I ate Toto!” (Wizard of Oz reference)
“Real ladies eat!” (You could substitute women for ladies, and make it spicier by adding “beef”.)
“The Only Reason I Have A Kitchen Is Because It Came With The House.”
That is so me. I do not want to talk first thing in the morning either before, or during my coffee. First thing SO wants to do upon first opening her eyes in the morning is perform some sort of brain dump and she has to do it verbally. It’s like she sits up all night thinking about everything and has to get it all out within the first five minutes of being awake. I have to physically hide from her, or she’ll follow me around. Get a diary!