"Suck for Luck" - The 0-16 NFL Season Thread (2011 Ed.)

Week two is over, and now we only have seven contenders left:

Kansas City Chiefs -79
A reminder: in Survival league, you can’t pick a team to win more than once, but you can pick the Chefs to lose all but three weeks.

Seattle Seahawks -40
What kind of bizarro-world would it be if Luck ended up with Harbaugh’s biggest personal rival?

Indianapolis Colts -35**
I think they’re this far down on the point differential because opponents are being nice.

St. Louis Rams -30*
They might get swept by the NFC East. Weren’t these guys supposed to be good? They’ll get a win eventually because they play the Seahawks.

Miami Dolphins -24
The Dolphins are considering signing Sieve McColander to play corner.

Carolina Panthers -14*
All those yards and Cam Newton has nothing to show for it. Think of all the draft picks they could get for trading away the top pick.

Minnesota Vikings -11
Oh, boy could they use a QB. I think there’s some geezer out there they could pry out of “retirement.”

*: Probably don’t need a QB.
**: Hopefully don’t need a QB.

I understand the Philadelphia Eagles lost Michael Vick, and followed up with blowing their lead in that game. They’ve got a shot at 1-15.

I don’t know how reliable this website is, but it looks like Vick may play Week 3 against the Giants.

Aaaaand he broke his off hand in the game. Eagles now stand at 1-2.

Plus, there’s some discussion today that the officials should have called penalties on the Giants to protect Vick, and didn’t call them. Nasty if correct.

As a rapid Bills fan, all I can say is…
Yay!!!

As an experienced Bills fan, all I can say is…

Yay!!! For now…

Still eligible at 0-3:

Miami
Kansas City
Indianapolis
St. Louis
Minnesota {why do they get a state and not a city?}

Close at 1-2, * indicating previously 0-2:
Denver
Cincinnati
Jacksonville
Philadelphia

  • Seattle
    Arizona {why do they get a state?}
    Chicago
  • Carolina {why do they get TWO states?}
    Atlanta

Dallas is 1-1 and plays tonight.

It seems to me that some of these 0-3 teams are probably scheduled to play each other. If so, SOMEbody has to get a win.

Thank the gods that the Vikings play the Chiefs next week - maybe, maybe we’ll get the win then. But if we continue the practice of not playing the 2nd half, it’s probably not likely.

Christ on sale, that game against the Lions sucked.

My Lions not only went 0-16, but managed 4-40 over 4 years. They set the record for consecutive road losses and then broke it.
It not fun and not something you want to try and have fun with. There isn’t any fun there.
On the other hand ,this season and the end of last must have exploded whatever credibility Matt Millen has.

I came in here to say this Chiefs-Vikings game could go a long way to determining Luck’s future home. Movable object, meet the stoppable force. The Vikings schedule is looking really rough after this game against Kansas City. McNabb’s not going to take the Vikings anywhere, but playing Ponder risks him not looking very good, which could hurt his trade value, should the Vikings land the #1 and take Luck. But that pick could do a lot in terms of bringing in additional draft choices. Too bad we don’t have T-Jack anymore to ensure a bad season.

Because they built the stadium in effing* Glendale instead of Phoenix. Although this reason didn’t matter to the NHL’s Coyotes.

*says the guy who lives in Mesa and doesn’t want to drive all the way to the west valley to watch a game.

Naming a team for the largest geographical area one can has been standard practice in most sports for over 30 years now. It’s the rule, not the exception.

Gotta go with KC as the favorite, even though they’re in a weak division. Injuries, front office disarray … they’re the complete package.

Minnesota is second because they could go 0-6 in their division, giving them a leg up; or down, as the case may be.

I’d say the Colts have the best chance to go winless, especially now that Peyton Manning is officially out for the season.

Without Manning, they’re terrible… and worse yet, they have the schedule of a playoff team.
Their defense was NEVER great, but they often looked better than they were because they were usually in the lead, and could concentrate on pass rushing.

So, wouldn’t it be something if Andrew Luck was Peyton Manning’s replacement?

OK, so Carolina and Seattle are out. We’ll take a look at the level of dedication the remaining contenders have for going completely winless:

Minnesota Vikings -14
The Vikings are so dedicated, they’re making halftime adjustments just to keep from slipping up and winning one.

Miami Dolphins -25
The Dolphins are so dedicated, they dug deep into the playbook to find the right horrible plays to run, just to keep from winning.

Indianapolis Colts -38
The Colts are so dedicated, missing their artist, went with a Painter.

St. Louis Rams -60
The Rams are so dedicated, they’re phoning it in like E.T. just to stay at the bottom of the NFC West.

Kansas City Chiefs -82
The Chefs are so dedicated, they’ve taken their lowest points scored mark and added most points allowed.

They still have ties in the NFL, right? :smiley:

I had high hopes for the Colts last night. Shame on me for going to bed before the game was over… :smack:

The dream lives on for Minnesota! Way to go, Kansas City! Up next for the Vikings, Arizona at the Metrodome. Then we’ve got 3 highly losable games: @ Chicago, Green Bay, and @ Carolina heading into the bye week.

Good Luck to the Vikings.

At this point, I am kinda hoping the the Rams win the race. Not so that they can draft Luck but so that they can trade the pick for a buttload of picks to fill all of thier needs. Unfortunately, they play in the NFCW and are guarenteed some wins in the second half of the season. After they finish thier tour of recent SB winners.

I’ll do all the teams following tonight’s game, but damn, the Vikings are really going all out, aren’t they?

I mean really. The Chiefs settle for 5 field goals, and the Vikings still can’t pull it out? I knew we were in trouble going into half-time with a lead, since Minnesota certainly can’t be expected to overcome a deficit after blowing 3 double-digit second half leads.

It doesn’t look like we need him - McNabb’s doing a bang-up job all by his onesies.