"Tank for Tua" OR The 0-16 NFL Season Thread (2019 ed.)

Come one, come all, welcome to the thread where we celebrate the losingest losers in the NFL. Which team can match the epic ineptitude of the 1976 Buccaneers and 2008 Lions? Who will fire the coach and GM to, ultimately, no avail? Who will get their choice of QBs in an apparently loaded 2020 class? Will a team really dedicate themselves, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and go down down down in history with the infamous 0-16?

The Miami Dolphins really do seem like they’re a solid candidate to go all the way, but we have lots of contenders. Here are the 15 team that lost Week 1, sorted by how much they lost by:
Miami Dolphins (-49)
Cleveland Browns (-30)
Pittsburgh Steelers (-30)
New York Giants (-18)
Atlanta Falcons (-16)
Jacksonville Jaguars (-14)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-14)
Denver Broncos (-8)
Chicago Bears (-7)
Indianapolis Colts (-6)
Washington Redskins (-5)
Carolina Panthers (-3)
Houston Texans (-2)
New York Jets (-1)
Cincinnati Bengals (-1)

The Detroit Lions and Arizona Cardinals tied, so conceivably could still go winless. Somehow “0-15-1” seems even worse.

Week 2 games that feature two winless teams:
Bucs at Panthers (Thurs Night)
Jaguars at Texans
Bears at Broncos
Browns at Jets (Mon Night)

This thread is for mocking bad teams, but discuss anything that relates, such as draft picks.

The 2017 Browns get a pass here?

LoL, so forgettable. Oops, copy/paste mistake.

Betting the franchise on an Alabama QB is risky business.

They were awesome, not just 0-16 but 1-32. Historically bad.

Bart Starr, Joe Namath … on the other hand, Richard Todd, AJ McCarron …

Believe it or not, 50 years ago things were different.

The Dolphins seem to be the only ones that are intentionally trying to lose.

The Seahawks looked they tried, but failed.

If you try to fail, and somehow succeed anyway, is that really failure? You’ve failed to fail.

Jet’s QB Sam Darnold is going to be out for at least a few weeks with Mono. It’s going to be a race to the bottom in the AFCE.

Belichick was willing to trade Demaryius Thomas to the Jets only because he doesn’t think he has anything left.

They were dominated in every facet of the game but the scoreboard. Happens.

Yup. Here’s a list from Wikipedia of Alabama’s starting quarterbacks, in chronological order. The most recent guy to have had a significant NFL career as a starting QB was, in fact, Richard Todd (starter at Alabama from 1974-1975).

There are three Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterbacks who played at Alabama (Starr, Namath, and Stabler), but as you note, they were at Alabama 50-60 years ago.

There’s some truth to that. Giving up yards was intentional. I don’t know what crazy strategy that they have but it works. In the Pete Carroll era, Seattle has given up more than 400 yards passing on only 6 occasions, and they are 6-0 in those games. They don’t mind the repeated short yardage, it’s the explosive plays they try to prevent. (And failed a couple of times to prevent last Sunday, which I’m sure wasn’t in the plan.)

As I said, though, it’s weird but it works. Pete basically says he doesn’t care if you “dink and dunk” on him, as long as you don’t score.

The sacks and hits and other pressure on Wilson weren’t intentional either, of course, but that OL is better than it performed and I’m sure they’ll get that fixed.

I agree. We were at the game. It was ugly. But I still have hope for a good season.

(of course, I also thought the Mariners would get 81 wins this year)

They just got all the wins out of the way early so that they didn’t need to worry later in the season.

The bolded works until you play the Patriots. And those pressures and hits/sacks are a result of a rejuvenated Bengals defensive line that has a LOT of talent on it. Most around the league aren’t noticing, but if the Bengals beat Jimmy Garrapolo in convincing fashion, it’s going to be because of that line.

The entire team is playing better. Mediocre Marv was the head cheese for SIXTEEN years. Let that marinate.

I’m telling you, don’t sleep on them. Seriously.

If nothing else that Bengals pass rush is terrifying. They’re crazy good. They kept demonstrating during replays how they were off at full speed at the moment the ball is snapped. That is hard to block. I think Cincinnati might be a contender this year. Yeah it’s only week 1 but they are good.

And John Ross… Being from the Seattle area, I saw a lot of him as a Husky and I thought he’d be a star in the NFL. His rookie year was a dud but it seems like he’s figuring out how to make his speed work in the pros like he did in college. If he can get his catching skills to improve he will be a huge asset, especially once A.J. Green is back.

Oh, I’ll add, the Panthers are winning!

The list, I mean. Only the OP’s list.