Suck it, Higgs boson scientists!

Here is a scientific breakthrough with real possibilities for benefiting mankind:
Genes for breast size found!
Brought to you by Fox News, fair (blonde, anyway) and (ideally) balanced.

Higgs Bosoms!

BTW I heard Fox’s carpet doesn’t match the drapes if you know what I mean.

And I think Higgs is gonna have to do some splaining to his wife.

They have found the legendary Biggs Bosom??!?!!11one:p

I am willing to bet that this study had no problem finding plenty of Grad Assistants…

Now, how can we get it into semen, and make it taste like chocolate?