What, was he going to electrocute himself if he touched it?
Assuming you’re in the US, grab Nigel Latta’s Politically Incorrect Parenting. I have been giving it to all the new parents at work and it is gratefully received. Very down to earth and doable. Wish I’d read it before I had kids.
Here is something on his website about just what you mention in the OP.
Here are his Radio New Zealand podcasts. There are more at his site.
A book on parenting byRudolf Dreikurs might be interesting for you: he’s against what Americans call “disciplining” = beating, and against punishment in general, because it’s just revenge. Instead, he’s for “logical consequences”: fire burns you because it’s hot; if you forgot to bring your lunch to kindergarden, you go hungry. Those are logical consequences of your actions. Hitting toddlers on the behind won’t make a better argument.
There’s also A.S. Neill compiled books about his experiences in Summerhill, where he also explains the distinction (that many people here seem have difficulty grasping) that “non-repressive” parenting doesn’t automatically equal “laissez-faire” parenting.
A small example: Your toddler needs to get dressed. It’s -10 outside, so he needs to wear a sweater. But the toddler doesn’t want to wear the blue sweater you’ve taken from the closet.
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Authoritarian/ repressive approach: You wear that blue sweater I picked out, or you will be spanked.
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Laissez-faire approach: well, if you don’t want to wear the blue sweater, I can’t make you.
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Normal approach: You have to wear a sweater, or you can’t go outside. Do you want to wear the green sweater instead of the blue one, or do you want to stay inside?
Parenting With Love and Logic offers 4) Ok, go outside. Kid goes outside, kid is cold. Kid complains about being cold, and parent says (genuinely, with love, not sarcasm), “Oh, you’re cold? Yeah, when I decide not to wear a sweater and it’s -10 outside, I’m really cold, too. I don’t like being cold, so I wear a sweater.”
Takes about 3 seconds for the shivering kid to decide that the sweater might be a good idea after all. He’s now got a problem (he’s cold) and he needs to solve it (wear the sweater). Next time, he’ll probably grab the sweater all on his own before he leaves, because now he knows how to prevent his own problem.
Other than that, Dreikurs sounds right in line with PWL&L.
Parent In Control is probably one of the best books you can find. But you’ll need to live, breathe, eat and sleep his recommendations for them to work effectively.
And when the kids hit their teens, I strongly recommend Back In Control.