“Paging Hal Briston!”
Make a clever joke, and I’ll gladly laugh along. But the non-joke jokes…give 'em the banhammer. Or maybe a ball peen hammer to the shinbone. That’ll work nicely as well.
Hal, I just want you to know that I, for one, have passed over many many opportunities to bring that up, because it was just too cheap a joke, and I can’t imagine how sick you are of hearing it. For what it’s worth.
u.
To get this back on track:
Using “comon, or common” in place of “come on” or even “c’mon” (which I think is the goal…)
“3. Hi, Opal!” is closer to a bannable offense than a joke at this point.
I’m pretty sure the all-caps thing is already a bannable offense.
fro instead of for
overusing “‘and so forth’ dots” . . . what do you call those again?
Hijacking a perfectly good conversation for a semantic query that came up as you were typing. . .
inconsistent capitalization
using leetspeak or sentence fragments.
alot
I spell it “definately-right-click-thank-you-FireFox-spellcheck”
…ellipses…
I think “masterbation” should be a bannable offense.
Getting “on tract” or “untracked.”
It’s on track. How hard is that to understand?
These are louse eggs used in the construction of the Hoover, Grand Coulee, and other dams. I guess they felt they added body to the concrete. 
Well, getting stunned with a phaser ususally did faze the villain du jour.
I don’t think Juliana is Shirley’s sock. 