This.
My brother’s father-in-law was a marine in both Korea and Viet Nam. He often said that the US is very good at promising young men a lot of things, and very, very bad at keeping those promises to the surviving older men.
I honestly don’t think this is correct. My friend only served 4 years in the Army when he was in his 20’s. He was not in combat. He was in his late 40’s when I dragged him to the DAV. He is now considered to be 100% disabled, gets the monthly check and free VA treatment for the rest of his life.
I have another friend who served 18 years, no combat. About 10 years after he got out, he filed for VA disability due to his knees giving out. He contacted the DAV and is now considered to be 20% disabled and will get a small monthly check for the rest of his life. He also gets free VA care for his knees for the rest of his life.
Now, I do have to confess that both of them did this 6 or 8 years ago, so things might have changed since then.
At the risk of being rude, I’m going to repeat myself. Call the DAV. They know a whole lot more about battling through the red tape trails than you or I do.
They’re getting healthcare because they have service-connected disabilities. For non-disabled vets they would have needed to deploy.
And thanks for the info on the DAV. I had never heard of them previously.
I totally misunderstood, I’m sorry. I guess I thought that your problem was service connected. I assume too much, and we all know what happens then. :smack:
BTW, thank you so much for your service. I hope things get better for you soon.
Oh, heck, we are in the pit so I should probably say many bad words at the VA administration, but I have a kitten on my lap and more in a box at my feet. I can’t even remember any bad words now.
My dad is a vietnam vet and he gets the runaround with VA, so he sticks with this regular doctor. Hearing out of one ear and with alzheimer’s, he isn’t doing too well.
The sad thing is that the only thing VA hospital gets right is having prepaid phones in their shops that have a year of air time included.
The DAV is a great organization. They have cool thrift stores, too. 
Because they are, AFAIK, not affiliated with the government in any way, their hands aren’t tied like the government’s are, and they can help in very unexpected ways.
Example: I heard about a woman who needed a wheelchair, but Medicare didn’t think she was disabled enough to pay for it, and she really couldn’t afford to buy her own. It turned out that her first husband was KIA in WW II (they were married less than 2 months, lived together for about a week, and had no children), and she happened to connect with someone who knew that the DAV might be able to help out. And sure enough, they did! They told her to buy the wheelchair, and bring the receipt and her husband’s papers to their local office, and she would be reimbursed. Actually, her son bought the wheelchair so they cut him the check, but in any case, she got her wheelchair at no cost to her, thanks to the DAV. 
Aren’t they great? They didn’t get the wheelchair for her because of the very tenuous service connection, they did it because they want to help.
I also agree with you about the thrift stores, very cool. And welcome to the Dope. Its wonder to meet you.
This is my experience as well. When I was in the Navy I was friends with and kept in touch with a senior NCO (we shared a hobby) who retired after 20. He had persistent high blood pressure which the VA determined was 1) service-caused and 2) 10% disabling. It meant he got his meds paid for until medicare kicked in, and 10% of his retirement check was tax-free so far as the feds were concerned (I dunno about his state). He (and I) never saw combat.
VA health care is means-tested; vets with a higher income are still entitled to care, but they have co-pays. Furthermore, the VA is required by law to bill private insurance (but not Medicare), and that helps with the cost, as well.
But it seems that there are some misconceptions as to who is eligible and under what circumstances. Broadly speaking, all veterans who served for at least 24 months and who were discharged under honorable conditions are eligible. Where and when you served will help bump up your access to care, but all vets who meet the basic criteria are eligible.
While I’m not disagreeing with you, you are aware that after 20 years of service, you are retired with full military benefits, including use of commissary, PX, and medical coverage for you, your spouse and underage children, along with a pension, aren’t you? Disability or combat service has nothing to do with it, but may provide additional benefits.
As far as who pays if the vet is also entitled to Medicare, I let the feds fight it out as long as they don’t charge me.
(And I first read your post as “…we shared a hubby…”) 