In the bloody obvious category, the Supreme Court of Canada has held that a pictograph is not a law.
The story:
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Woman is on the escalator for the Montréal Métro. She’s fumbling in her purse for her Métro pass and NOT HOLDING ON TO THE HANDRAIL! Quel horreur!
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Métro cop points to a pictograph saying “Caution” and showing the person holding the handrail. “Madam, hold the handrail! It’s the law! Look at the pictograph!”
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Madam says: “No, I’m trying to get my Métro pass out.”
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Métro cop: “You’re breaking the law, Madame. You’re under arrest! Name!”
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Woman: “You’ve got to be kidding me! Sod this!”
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Métro cop: “In addition to not following the law requiring you to hold the handrail, as depicted on the pictograph, you are now obstructing a Métro officer (moi-même) in the execution of his duty! That’s a second charge!”
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Woman: “What?!?”
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Métro cop: “Hold out your hands for the handcuffs!”
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Woman: “WHAT?!?”
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Métro cop cuffs her, searches her purse, gets her name, issues a ticket. “Voici, Madame. Your court date is on the ticket. You are now free to go. Please obey pictographs from now on.”
So Madame goes to court and demands to know under what law she is charged.
“Failure to obey a pictograph” says the prosecutor.
“What law says I have to follow the pictograph?” she asks.
Prosecutor shuffles papers, mumbles a bit about safety on Métro escalators, etc.
Judge: “it appears there is no law requiring Métro users to obey pictographs. Charge dismissed.”
Madame then sues the Métro cop, the Métro and the city for false arrest, claiming $20,000 in damages.
And the Quebec courts dismiss her claim.
Yes, they agree that there is no law making compliance with pictographs a legal duty, but, well, she should have been holding the handrail for safety reasons, and really, she’s the author of her own misfortune. The poor Métro cop was just trying to preserve safety, and he thought there was a law, so she should have listenened to him. Civil claim dismissed at trial and by the Quebec Court of Appeal.
Madame appeals to the Supreme Court of Canada, which in measured tones and elaborate legal reasoning says: “ARE YOU GUYS FREAKING KIDDING!?! A PICTOGRAPH IS NOT A LAW!!!”
SCC holds the cop, the Métro and the city liable en solidaire for $20,000, and rakes the Quebec courts over the coals, explaining through gritted teeth and with excessive politeness that YOU CAN’T BE ARRESTED AND CHARGED WITH OBSTRUCTION OF A LAW THAT DOESN’T EXIST, even if there’s a pictograph suggesting it’s a good idea to hold the handrail.
Words fail me. (And yes, the dialogue above is my take on how it went down.)