I lived in Texas for over a decade. And if there’s one thing I learned during my first summer there was that it got hot. Every year the news would give ways for us to beat the heat! And they’d act surprised that it was getting so hot. I saw a news program in NY and they act the same way.
Well guess what you fucking morons? IT GETS THAT HOT EVERY FUCKING YEAR! I’ll give you a prediction for the weather in Dallas next August. That’s right, it’ll be fucking hot. You don’t need to be Miss Cleo to know these things.
Marc
PS: And although I wouldn’t personally know I hear it gets fucking cold in Minnesota during part of the year.
I’ve heard tell that it sometimes gets cold in winter, especially further north. But it’s always a big surprise for the weather people.
They sound like Chicken Little. And don’t get me started about “It’s going to be another beautiful day with no rain in sight” when we’re having a drought. Tell a farmer that he should be happy his corn is drying in the fields because the day is so gosh-darn PRETTY!
Nothing like hearing the weather guy say “Looks like the next few days will see a cooling trend. Just 99 on Tuesday, 101 on Wednesday, and on Thursday it’s going to top out at 98 degrees. A little relief from the heat coming up, Kris!”
It hit 111[sup]o[/sup]F here last month, and I recall one of the weather guys saying “That’ll probably be the hottest day this year, but we’re not beating any records by a long shot.”
I have a friend who lives in Singapore. When he came in the summer to visit his buddies here in Illinois, he commented about how much colder it was (the temperatures were in the upper 90s).
I used to work at a living history museum. I gave tours in a Victorian house which had not been updated with AC (some houses at the museum do have AC). I had to wear a long-sleeved dress with a few petticoats, and needless to say it was hot as hell. At least a few times every day, I had people come in and ask, “Are you hot? Well, you think this is hot? We come from Arizona and it’s like this every day!” Guess what! It’s like “this” a lot of days in IL, too! And I don’t get the luxury of wearing shorts and a tee-shirt like you do, so shut your mouth (please). Also, I’ve heard that AZ is very arid, whereas IL is as humid as a freaking crotch! I wouldn’t mind the heat so much if it wasn’t so damn sticky and heavy all of the time.
Yes. Many people don’t seem to understand the difference humidity makes. When a person sweats, the purpose is so that the sweat evaporates and thus cools the skin. If, however, the air is so full of water that nothing will evaporate into it, the sweat just sits there, getting all warm and sticky. This, besides being ineffective at cooling you off, is uncomfortable.
I hate humidity. These past couple days I’ve noticed that if I drive somewhere with the air conditioning on, when I step out of the car my glasses fog up.
Also, in AZ everything indoors is air conditioned.
Sheeeit. You want humidity, you come to the Deep South. I have seen bicycle riders and cars in the early morning leave fuckin’ contrails. I am not exaggerating in the least bit.
That ain’t no lie. I’ll never forget my brother’s wedding. Mobile, AL, July 1, 1995, Outside, tuxes and vests. Every time I went inside and took off my jacket, fog rolled off my body.
I went back to RI to help my Mom move out here a couple of years ago. When I left here, it was 108[sup]o[/sup]F. Not bad, really.
The next morning, I started to move my Mom’s stuff. In 96[sup]o[/sup], and 94% humidity. I was dying. Sweat pouring off my body. I can’t count the number of times I heard “But aren’t you from Arizona?” that day.
And, for the record, my house doesn’t have AC. Swamp coolers rule. Except during monsoon season, when they cease to make a damned bit of difference.
I may have to shoot you for that dry heat comment, MrVisible. Or at least turn a heat lamp on you. That’s the unofficial motto of Tucson, and Arizona in general: “At least it’s a dry heat!” I’m sick to death of hearing it, too.
Being a Tucsonan too, I try to bear up under the heat. And really, it’s not that bad outside. It’s when you’re inside and the AC/cooler/fans ain’t running well that it gets nasty. Not to mention if your car isn’t in a garage…I swear, I got in my car not two hours after the sun rose one day and it was already an oven in there.
As for why people act so surprised, well…for half a year it’s pretty darn cool, y’know? You get used to it, then all of a sudden- wham! We Tucsonans don’t mind the heat, since it’s really only cold for one month out of the year.
And I abhore the humidity of the East Coast, too. The worst sunburn I ever got was from a cruise in the Caribbean, never from the Tucson sun. You’ll bake in our sun, but on the East Coast you’ll broil. Nasty.
Call be a weirdo but I actually prefer a humid heat. In the dry heat of New Mexico or Arizona I don’t sweat as much. And this might sound silly but I can’t tell how hot I really am.
To those who move to Minnesota and are experiencing your first winter here: we’re happy you’re here. Really, seriously. We like people. We’re usually a friendly state. Here are some warnings about the winter to keep in mind.[ul][]Yes, it gets damn cold. While it is fun to open your back door and throw a pot of water in the air, watch it freeze before it hits the ground, and hear it shatter on your patio, bear in mind that other moist things will freeze quickly as well. I’m talking about your tongue on a metal pole. I understand that everyone has to do this at least once, but for ferchrissakes, do it quietly and secretly, with someone nearby to pour hot water on your frozen tongue.[]Not all ice is the same thickness. Sometimes ice is thick enough to hold cars and fishing houses and kegs of beer. That is what we call “good” ice. Sometimes ice is thinner than a litigous lawyer’s skin. That is what we call “bad” ice. You don’t take your snowmobile onto “bad” ice. You die.We appreciate that you bought a brand new snowthrower. They’re really helpful in clearing three feet of snow out of your driveway. However, when it gets clogged, Shiva H Vishnu on a pogo stick, turn the damn thing off and clear the blockage with a broom handle. Every Goddamn Year we get some moron who just moved to the state who gets his snowthrower and smiles proudly then reaches into the jammed blades while it’s still running to remove a blockage. Every Goddamn Year we get some moron rushed to get his hand reattached. Every Goddamn Year we have to put up with these caveats on the evening news because Every Goddamn Year some moron loses his hand.[/ul]Now, welcome to Minnesota, feel free to come in, sample the spinach dip, mingle a bit. But if you run around the state knocking over vases and scaring the cat, you’ll be asked to leave.
My three favorite things to say during these heat waves (and in my area of NY, we don’t usually get temps like this. They have to warn people because they’re fucking stupid and will go out jogging at 2pm and drop dead).
“Hot enough for ya’?”
“It’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity!”
“Whew it’s hot! Guess I’ll go home, pour a drink, and float in the pool all day.”
(Yeah, what LNO said - except all Canadians got their tongues stuck on metal in winter when they were kids, so we have it out of our systems :D)
My personal weather-related peeve is when the anchors and whatnot are bantering back and forth to the weather person and saying truly idiotic things like “Can you get us some rain for this weekend?” or “Thanks for the beautiful day yesterday!” HELLO! Weather people DO NOT MAKE THE WEATHER!!!
They don’t leave the studio and go back to their laboratory high on a Transylvanian mountain with their henchman, Igor, and bang off a few spells to create rain, you know.
(Just so you sweltering people know, Calgary has beeeyootiful, cool summers. We almost never get over 30C (86F); most days are sunny and top out around 25C (77F):p)
Yes, and i’ve got news for you, I don’t care how fucking dry the heat is. IT’S HOT. before I went to Vegas last month my friends all said, “sure it’s a 113, but it’s a dry heat!” as if that meant it would be comfortable.
MY CONTACTS MELTED AGAINST MY CORNEAS in that heat. I was literally moaning with angst as I walked from the Luxor to Mandalay bay (that’s like 100 feet). It was a nightmare. A FUCKING nightmare, and yes, it was dry.
That’s the unofficial motto of Tucson, and Arizona in general: “At least it’s a dry heat!” I’m sick to death of hearing it, too. 
