I pit surprise vomitings that come from nowhere. I just hurled without any warning whatsoever, and it went through my nose. Fucking ground beef in my sinuses. Fucking tomato sauce burning like acid. Fucking suprise vomitings.
On a related tangent, I pit my weird swallowing problem in general. See, sometimes when I swallow, food gets pushed by my throat/tongue upwards, and into my sinus area. Then I make horrible noises and my eyes water and my face innards burn until I can blow it out. Been going on since I was wee. Once I had a piece of bread up in there all day. Fucking weird swallowing thing.
Eh. I hate doctors. They never tell me anything good. And they keep threatening to stick a tube down my throat and snip off a bit of the cillia in my intestine. Poor cillia.
Ok, it’s happened before, but I was very pregnant then, so I didn’t think much of it. I am distinctly unpregnant now.
I always worry secretly that the food in sinuses thing may lead to mold or some nasty infection, because while I can shnortkle it out using great force, how could I ever be sure I got out all the very tiny bits? But then I figure I’m being to foil-hatty, and besides, an obit about dying from a bitty bread bit in my nose rotting my face and brain away would be interesting, to say the least. Or if I merely lose my nose to face rot by bread bits, I can wear a patch about my face, and on Halloween stick a carrot in the crater and pretend to be a snowman.
It’s all about accentuating the positive, you see.
Once about 14 years ago I became sick at work downtown and left a little early. Riding the Rapid Transit train back to the Heights, I sat alone in a seat. A woman got on and sat next to me. I advised her not to sit next to me because I was liable to throw up any moment. She immediately switched seats and scolded me for riding the train in that condition. (What was I supposed to do, walk home sick? Stay sick at work?) However, I didn’t barf until well after I got home. Then I felt better.
I almost never barf any more. It’s been years. I can’t remember the last time it happened.
If it weren’t for the part about having swallowing troubles since you were young, I was going to ask if you’ve had UPPP surgery. Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty - the wickedly hard to spell name for surgery often done for apnea. Apparently, the uvula (that little dangly thing) does have some reflex function in swallowing. I don’t have mine anymore, and now and then, a swallow goes up, leaving me to figure a way to snerk it back down without inhaling it.
Oh, a problem almost as bad as unwarned barfing is being unable to vomit. Last year, I swallowed something that had a vigorous disagreement with me and thanks to my stomach being literally wrapped up in knots after fundoplication surgery (to cure chronic heartburn and reflux) nothing can leave the same way it came in. Instead of a simple hork, my stomach tried and tried and tried to eject the offending substance. All that unrelieved pressure found an unwanted escape point in the form of a hernia.
I had a series of these, once or twice a week for about 3 weeks, then it went away. During the series, though, I threw up on my dog.
She stopped sleeping by my side of the bed.
This was bad because I am a person who, when I know I’m gonna spew, I fight it, teeth clenched, for hours if necessary. The surprise ones didn’t even give me a chance to clench my teeth.
(Mine went away before I had a chance to get to the doctor, and I hope yours does the same. I don’t like doctors either and I procrastinate. But 95 percent of the time you’re gonna get better whether you see a doctor or not.)
Me too! I was all prepared to jump in here with a “Me too!” post about WhyBaby, whose newest hobby is spitting up her milk in a fountain of truly impressive velocity.
But now that I’m here, I’m also going to chastise **Inkleberry **for not seeing a doctor. Love, I know you donwanna, but your fears about food getting stuck in your sinuses are not unfounded. Something can indeed lodge in there and start decaying, and then you’ll have the mother of all sinus infections before needing surgery to remove the abcess and repair the holes anyway. If we really can’t persuade you to go get that gut thing taken care of as well, at least go see an ear, nose and throat guy for this.
Go see a doctor. You’d make Tinkleberry go if it was his problem, so listen to your Doper Family and hie thee to a doc!
Way back before I earned the name Gut I had repeated surprise vomitings. Generally after I coughed a lot but sometimes just an instant Linda Blair type deal. A friend of mine didn’t believe me until I was driving him somewhere and I started to cough. I rolled down the window and told him to take the wheel as I proceeded to hurl out the window at 80 kph. He was laughing his ass off the whole time but did manage to keep the car in the same lane. I ended up going to the doctor and he told me my peristalsis(sp) had become too used to go backwards or some such and gave me some pills. I finished the bottle and all is well. So, uhm, ya, go see a doc
Although it wasn’t particularly a surprise, the last time I vomited (about 5 years ago) salsa went through my nose. Hot salsa that had been in my then SO’s refrigerator for god knows how long and of which I’d eaten about half a jar. So one can hardly consider the vomiting a surprise, in retrospect.
Anyway, I feel your pain.
Although we have no barf smiley, this one kinda captures the moment :o
A couple years back I was at work, evaluating a patient with my partner, and a suprise “ralph” ambushed me. I was able to supress it for the time it took me to lunge into a bathroom. When I came out I felt better, but there were three nurses outside the door waiting to see if I was going to live or die. Everyone asked when the baby was due. It turned out to be an odd flu, resulting in a low fever and suprise vomiting every hour or so for three days. My whole department came down with it. It turns out I was the lucky one- everyone else got suprised by the other end of the digestive tract, too.
My mom might tell you that it gets even more impressive. When I was about 5, I was sick with some stomach bug and was spending the day on the couch. I opened my mouth to say something, and instead produced a jet of vomit that spattered the ceiling.
I once vomited so hard that I had roast beef and pickles lodged in my nose for most of the day. I vividly remember blowing my nose and seeing little bits of pickle in the tissue.
Every single time I vomit*, it comes out of my nose. Nothing can stop it, not even plugging my nose – it simply rolls out of my nostrils as soon as I let go. So I completely understand. Wish I could help, but all I can do is offer sympathy.
*Except for when I’ve been drinking - that’s the only time I have no problem. Maybe the solution for me is to get loaded every time I start to feel nauseous.
