We’ve all had 'em (well, those of us over a certain age), those little moments when life sneaks up on you, taps you on the shoulder, and says “Tag - you’re an adult now.”
I’m not so much talking about the big bombs (first real job, death of a close friend/reltive, sex, kids, etc…), I’m talking more about the little things.
Things like:
[ul][li]Not being carded at a bar[/li]
[li]Taking (and failing) a cholesterol test[/li]
[li]Applying for a loan[/li]
[li]Being called “Sir” or “Ma’am”[/li]
[li]Singing along to a Eminem or Limp Bizkit song and having a teenager give you one of those “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” looks[/li]
[/ul]
I’ll admit it, chronologically I may be 35, but I usually still feel like some stupid 17 year old who happens to have some disposable income.
It really takes me aback when someone has the nerve to treat me like my age.
What are some of your tales from the frontline of maturity?
I’m with you, heart and soul. It bothered me for a while; starting leaning towards that I’m-getting-older-I-should-grow-up mold. Couldn’t do it. And boy am I glad.
Worst is when you are at your doctors (in my case the eye doctor), describing something new that you’ve noticed happening (in my case “floaters and flashers”), and the doctor hands you a pamphlet that starts out “As we age…”
I began sentences with “Those kids…” Yikes!
On surveys, I pay attention to the age-range box (I’m still 24-35)
I don’t understand why teenagers dress like that.
I’ll say something, and realize that’s exactly what my mom or dad would say.
You have to grow old, but you don’t have to grow up. So there, poopyhead!
I went to the Tibetan Freedom Concert at RFK stadium a few years ago - it was the first big stadium show I’d been to since high school. I was there with a group of my fellow 24-year-olds, and we felt like the grandparents of the prosti-tots and alterna-teens surrounding us. My friend Molly and I found ourselves commenting on all these cute little kids with garish tattoos showing way too much boob and leg…and we realized that we were saying the same things our moms had said about us. Ack!
My moment came when I volunteered to chaperon a large group of kids at a musical performance. It really sunk in that, when it came to the four I was assigned, I was the person responsible for taking them to the bathroom and keeping them quiet during the performance and watching to make sure they didn’t run out in the street and get run over by a truck or something.
By the time my dad was the age I was, he was already married and I think even my older sister had been born. More heaps of perspective there.
Realising during your birthday “celebration” with your younger girlfriend that the legality of what you were doing had drastically changed, and not for the better.
It used to be that girls always seemed more attracted to guys older than me. Suddenly, they seemed more attracted to guys younger than me. I’ve always wondered if I’d drastically overslept.
An old (god I’m so old) song by The Pursuit of Happiness:
I’m An Adult Now
Well, I don’t hate my parents
I don’t get drunk just to spite them
I’ve got my own reasons to drink now
Think I’ll call my dad up and invite him
I can sleep in till noon anytime I want
Though there’s not many days that I do
Gotta get up and take on that world
When your an adult it’s no cliche it’s the truth
Cause I’m an adult now
I’m an adult now
I’ve got the problems of an adult
On my head and on my shoulders
I’m an adult now
I can’t even look at young girls anymore
People will think I’m some kind of pervert
Adult sex is either boring or dirty
Young people they can get away with murder
I don’t write songs about girls anymore
I have to write songs about women
No more boy meets girl boy loses girl
More like man tries to figure out what the hell went wrong
I can’t take any more illicit drugs
I can’t afford any artificial joy
I’d sure look like a fool dead in a ditch somewhere
With a mind full of chemicals
Like some cheese-eating high school boy
Sometimes my head hurts and sometimes my stomach hurts
And I guess it won’t be long
Till I’m sitting in a room with a bunch
of people whose necks and backs are aching
Whose sight and hearing’s failing
Who just can’t seem to get it up
Speaking of hearing, I can’t take too much loud music
I mean I like to play it, but I sure don’t like the racket
Noise, but I can’t hear anything
Just guitars screaming, screaming, screaming
Some guy screaming in a leather jacket
Wooah!
Cause I’m an adult now
I’m an adult now
I’ve got the problems of an adult
On my head and on my shoulders
I’m an adult now
Not really contributing but what the heck!
