Surreal conversation regarding my husband and a goat

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Background: My husband was nommed by a goat named Frank. Frank used to be Francine until the yard boys discovered her testicles.

Sitting on the couch watching the telly together and he turns to me:

Brad: “Frank nibbled my love handles today”
Me: “Who’s Frank?”
Brad: “The goat at work”
Me: “Why do you have a goat at work?”
Brad: “To keep the grass down in the timber yard”
Me: “Why did he nom you?”
Brad: (looks thoughtful) “I’m not sure, but he nibbled my flanny shirt, and ended up with a bit of skin.”
Me: “What did you do?”
Brad: “I looked at him sternly and said ‘bad goat, naughty Frank”
Me: “Did he look suitable chastened?”
Brad: “No, but he looked sorry”
Me: “Ummmm… I love you” :smiley:

2

Sorry, but what does “nommed” mean?

3

It’s lolkats speak for eating something (the sound you make as you do it).
There are some amusing variations online. My favorite is this one

4

I’m waiting for our Merkin cousins to ask what a flanny shirt is.

5

And more importantly whether there are a pack of Winnie Blues tucked up his sleeve. ;):D:D:D

6

Ha! I figgered it out, mate!

flanny=flannel
Winnie Blues = cigarettes

Ain’t I smart? :smiley:

I’m just glad that wasn’t my husband talking. If his pet alligators at the plant started nomming on his love handles, much bloodiness might ensue…

7

How does a goat look sorry? I worked with goats once, and none of them ever had a expression other than bored or cunning.

Cunning before they bit you, bored after.

In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen any animal but a dog look sorry, and we all know how manipulative dogs are.

Cats never look sorry. Cats look bored or annoyed (unless they are in Hunt Mode; then they get that fixed killer stare.)

Various rodent pets occasionally look curious, occasionally annoyed, but that’s about it.

Horses. Horses have expression. Haughty. Apprehensive. Occasionally, just placid, but in my limited experience that’s when to look out. Sometimes they look angry, but apparently they’re not; or maybe horse-people just lie about that. And, of course, they can look annoyed or bored.

What other animals?
Snakes
chickens
wild turkeys
skunks
possums
cows
wolves
lab rats
whales
deer
coyotes
armadillos
rabbits
various small birds
loons
eagle and hawks
…

nope, I can not think of an animal I’ve seen that ever looked sorry, other than a dog.

And we all know how manipulative dogs are.

8

That’s fantastic - guess what he smokes. Guess what he was smoking at the time of the alleged nibble? Winnie Blues ehehehehehehehe!! (fezza - but at least they’re not Horizons):D:D:D

9

MIne Does, on occasions if Mommy is really mad at him.

10

FWIW, the goat (her name is Oreo) who was in our yacht club last weekend looked sorry for nomming some of the chips and veggies laid out on the bar.

So I made her a plate with some broccoli and baby carrots to take out on the deck. Then she looked happy.

11

I was going to ask why your yacht club had a goat.

Then I remembered the other name for the Chief’s Mess aboard ship: The Goat Locker. Obviously, Oreo is a retired Navy Chief, still working around small craft. :smiley:

12

Rabbits look disapproving. Always.

13

Hey, I know a goat named Oreo, too! His brother’s name is Hershey and they’re both real SOBs about getting their hooves trimmed. :slight_smile:

14

The club has a tradition of being somewhat off-beat. Until recently our clubhouse was a hand-me-down double-wide trailer. It was common to see members’ dogs sitting at the bar (on stools, even).

Now that you mention it, Oreo was pretty spry getting around her companion’s sailboat - maybe she was a Navy Chief!