Well, my son is in 4th grade, and he wears sweatpants to school almost every day (when it’s too cold for shorts, of course). So do most of the other boys in his class.
I just make sure that his sweatpants aren’t the same color as his sweatshirt. My parents may have come from New Jersey, but that doesn’t mean that my kid needs to dress like he’s from there.
Wait-so did he wear the same clothes for 3 days or did she send him in those pants instead of the shorts?
So - she wanted to nag you about htem, but didn’t feel it was enough of a problem for her to actually deal with.
You’re in for a long haul with this one.
I’m sure she wore her clothes while he was there.
I guess I forgot to mention…she didn’t send him in the ‘sweatpants’ or the shorts I sent, she put him in jeans.
Just curious, did she send the other clothes back? I no longer send clothes because they never come back.
I dunno. I think that you should, politely, hold your ground. It’s important for parents who share custody to realize that they cannot dictate what goes on in the other parent’s household and it’s crucial to establish this early. Why not start establishing these boundaries now over something innocuous rather than waiting until it’s a hot button issue?
I’m afraid Mothers in particular have this attitude that because they are the MOM, they get final say. Not true.
Here’s what I’d text back:
"Dear x,
Please realize that I wouldn’t have sent junior to school in clothes that I believed were inappropriate. Sharing custody can be tricky, and there will come a day when we face much more important issues, so let’s agree to respect each other’s authority on these minor decisions."
I kind of side with mom here, if only because I live with a thirty year old man who wears sweatpants every place but work. It eventually becomes embarrassing. He might as well get used to wearing real clothes now.
My husband would absolutely not be OK with our four-year-old leaving the house in sweatpants unless she was going to a sports activity. He thinks it’s inappropriate: if you’re going to play sports, then dress to play sports; if you’re going to do something else, then dress for that. I wouldn’t personally put her in sweatpants, but I don’t feel nearly as strongly as he does. (She feels that appropriate attire for almost everything involves either as many bright colours and ruffles as possible or else a firefighter outfit, so sweatpants haven’t come up.)
But it doesn’t sound like these are the same kind of sweatpants. If we’re just talking about loose jersey pants, they’re not sports-specific, and the appropriateness issue shouldn’t be so much of a thing.
However. It sounds like she actively cares about this, while you don’t particularly - you weren’t sending him to school in those pants because you thought they were the best possible thing for him to wear, just because you figure they’re fine, just like jeans or cargo pants are fine. If you fight her on this, it won’t be because you think your way is actually better for the kid; it’ll just be because you don’t want to let her win. That isn’t a good reason to invest that time and energy. There will be times when you genuinely disagree on what’s better for the kid. I’d save the fight for then.
This is what I am picturing:
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=69533&vid=1&pid=385566162
??
Sweatpants are knit. Are the pants in question knit? Stretchy?
I certainly didn’t wear nice clothes to school, where I would have just torn them up.
Ok I was wrong about something…those are close to the pants I thought he was in, but the ones I was thinking of are not as casual as those (more tailored and no drawstring).
Turns out the actual pants in question are more like blue “Adidas” pants…white stripes down the legs. Doesn’t change my position, but for the sake put transparency.
The really great denouement…he had a bright blue and white striped shirt. Instead of the blue pants or matching blue shorts I provided, she sent him in OLIVE GREEN CARGO PANTS. Cmon, if you’re worried about tacky…that’s not the solution.
The kid will never get into an Ivy League school if you’re dressing him in sweats. CYS notified.
J/K
And it’s a fucking shame I hade to insert the J/K.
But seriously, secure his Facebook/twitter accounts now.
If she (that’s your daughter, not mother?) doesn’t like them, though, why is she buying them?
He’s four years old, for cryin’ out loud! His job description, even at preschool, involves crawling around on his hands and knees propelling something with wheels going udn-udn, building block towers, sitting on a rug listening to stories and playing on a playground, among other things. Pants made for activity are sensible.
As long as he’s warm enough or cool enough, his clothing has no inappropriate writing, is clean , is in good repair and he likes it, you should be good.
It sounds like the ex-husband’s mother, the child’s grandmother, is buying the clothes from K-Mart.
At least thats how I’m taking it.
As a mum with 2 kids in daycare, I think sweats are totally fine - but only for daycare. Clothes get covered in paint, ripped, scuffed etc, and most people I know have a bunch of cheap clothes they know will get trashed reserved solely for this purpose. No clue why his mum thinks this is a bad idea.
100% this. People keep saying sweat pants (or whatever type of athletic pants the kid is wearing) are for athletic activities. Well what the hell do you think 4 year old do all day? They aren’t sitting at a desk learning algebra.
Well, not in sweatpants they aren’t…
I think this is a good point to consider.
Eons ago, when I was in primary school, pajama-like tracksuit pants where what the poor (and unpopular) kids wore.
Perhaps the OP’s Ex is worried about keeping up appearances. Maybe she doesn’t want to be the target of gossip among other parents
But as so many others have said, this is for a four-year-old!
I think she’s making an unnecessary fuss.
Is there a written pre-school policy in place? If so, either your child is in compliance or he is not.
If he is, the offended Mom can go suck eggs. If he’s not, then perhaps an adjustment is in order.