Got milk?
My worst wake up to find what I bought.
8 tombstone cheap pizzas
4 Di-giorno expensive pizzas
2 bags Totinos pizza rolls
1 family size box bagel bites Pizza things.
1 pound of mozzeralla(to put on pizza obviously)
1 pound pepperoni(ditto)
1 box crappy microwave burritos
1 box White castle burgers
1 box jimmy dean breakfast sandwiches.
1 gallon box of goldfish
1 bag blue corn tortilla chips.
1 pound Sharp cheddar
1 pound Swiss
1 brie wedge.
12 Assorted day old donuts.
And one bag frozen Green beans(I hate green beans, I guess it was probably on the checkout counter and I just scanned it without noticing)
I figure I spent about 80 bucks without acquiring one gram of actual nutrition.
I’ve found that the only thing worse than SWH is SACWH or Shopping At Costco While Hungry. It is similar to SWH, however SACWH includes buying at least twice as much crap as you would SWH, so you get to the checkout and try to figure out how you spent 200 bucks just on frozen food. Then you have to figure out how the hell you’re going to fit 200 bucks worth of frozen food into the already-full freezer.
Worst case scenario:
[ul]
[li] Large box of tampons (usually super or super plus, or both!)[/li]
[li] Economy sized bottle of Midol, Tylenol, or Motrin (since morphine is not OTC)[/li]
[li] Hot water bottle (since you ripped the other one last month trying to get the #@%ing stopper out!)[/li]
[li] Bottle of B vitamin complex (so you do NOT have to go through this NEXT month, and you WILL stick to taking one B complex vitamin a day whether you like it or NOT)[/li]
[li] Bottle of iron pills (since you KNOW your body is just about to start DRAINING itself of iron in a few days)[/li]
[li] One pound bags of M&Ms (since you want something really sweet, and note the plural of ‘bags’)[/li]
[li] Bags of potato chips (since you want something salty to make up for the sweet taste)[/li]
[li] One bucket of Ranch dip (chips were not made to exist without ranch dip - that would be like pork without the beans)[/li]
[li] One can of pork & beans (since the preceding list item sounded like a good idea!)[/li]
[li] Box of Dove bars (since you want quality chocolate (Dove) as well as quantity (M&Ms))[/li]
[li] Box of Celestial Seasonings “Sleepytime Chamomile Peppermint Raspberry lots o’ Flavors but no Tea” herbal tea[/li]
[li] Issues of Glamour, Vogue, Cosmo, Women’s Weekly, National Enquirer, The Star, aw hell, every magazine within reach at the checkout stand[/li]
[li] A scowl that would likely knock the bagger ten feet away on his ass if he even THINKS of making a joke about ANYTHING in your cart -OR-[/li]
[li] Complete hangdog, pity me look sure to elicit sympathy from anyone within a 12-foot radius, enough to soften someone up to let you ahead in line so you can just get home and strip down out of the pants that feel like they shrank 3 sizes in the wash and just lie under the covers and wish the world would go away[/li][/ul]
What? I’m sure I’m not the only one. Actually, I am very nice to the bagger, since s/he is the one who carries my groceries to the car and makes sure the bread is not smushed.
[NoClueBoy - good one!
My brother has discovered the mistake of SWH (dang you, people, you beat me to it). He’s in the Air Force in a dorm, and has a microwave and presumably some sort of fridge. I don’t know exactly what he got, but not long ago he got fifty bucks of stuff. Fifty bucks at the commissary, where there is no sales tax. Fifty bucks of dorm food. How much actual nutrition can be stored in a dorm room with an itty fridge and a microwave? He was rather embarassed when he told me about it.
When I SWH I tend to come out with candy and more candy and other sugary junk as well.
screech-owl - you said it, sister, and way funnier than I would have.
And Lissla - a friend of mine took me to what was supposed to be an Italian grocery store the other day. It was the coolest store EVER! Tons of produce, cheap, for starters, then we zipped past the “normal” food aisle where they had Kraft cheese and Dannon yogurt and we turned the corner… and we were in Italy! We started throwing pasta and imported tomatoes and fresh cannoli into the cart, then turned the aisle and BOOM! We were in Japan and India! Next aisle was Poland! Then we found Mexico, and after that, England and Ireland! It was like shopping at Epcot, only way cheaper. I spent $52 and came home with HUNDREDS of unidentifiable goodies!
Rice cakes are good when you want something snacky and crunchy. Quaker makes these new things called “Quakes” that are like tiny little rice cakes, chip-sized, and they come in flavors like Caramel, Cheddar Cheese, Ranch, etc. They’re nummy.
Can I just say I think it’s funny when smokers or drinkers are also vegetarians? I can? Thanks!
So did you buy ten?
I don’t know why but I find rice-a-roni the san francisco treat very funny.
No. Twenty. I told you I was tired.
And so did I. I had lots of sun typing rice-a-roni the san francisco treat. Couldn’t remember where the ding ding went in. Is it between the ‘rice & a’ or between the ‘roni & the’?
Fun! I had fun! It was FUN typing rice-a-roni the san francisco treat! Sun is what made me tired. Sun is not fun, but please make an exception in this case!
Sometimes I get my sibilants and fricatives mixed up.
Yeah, family reunions can be tough.
Oh, sibilants. That’s, like, bugs with multiple personality disorder, right? Yeah, they’re hard to keep track of too - but it’s fun to watch 'em fight when fifteen of 'em all think they’re the queen.
Rice dingding A-Roni accordion
The San Francisco Treat!
Man, I want whatever San Francisco Treat* you two* are having! 
After ten minutes of sounding it out, I finally get Olentzero’s second joke. :smack:
Forgot about the accordian part. And now I have dingding on the brain right now.
What are you people? Uncultured?
All these posts and not one link to The Uninvited’s Too High For the Supermarket?
Oh, the shame.
Um, screech-owl? We hafta go back to the store. I forgot to put some B&J’s New York Super Chunk in the cart… you want some too? Okay, we’ll get four pints.
Nice girls don’t say such things in polite company.
So how you doin’? 
BWAHAHAHA!
DWD, who is currently feeling this pain…
It took many, many years, but I have learned to not shop while hungry. I’ll actually have a sandwich before I head to the store, which has, more than once, lead to the following exchange:
Wife: Why are you having a sandwich, it’s four in the afternoon?
Me: I’m fixin’ to head to the store.
Wife: …Good idea.
Another definition of SWH: shopping with husband. It’s a bad, bad idea.
Me: “Would you grab a bag of spinach for me while I pick up some fruit? It’s right there, next to the lunch meats and hot dogs.”
Husband (coming back 5 minutes later - supposedly with spinach): “Here’s some spinach. Oh, I got some cheesey hot dogs, too, and some chips, buns, ketchup and brownies to go with. They looked good.”
I run into problems when I SWOC (shopping without cash). Who wants to write a check for a coupla dollars, or pull out the credit card for a small amount?
This morning I ended up SWOC, only needing my lifeblood, Diet Coke.
I ended up buying: a 12 pk of Diet Coke, chocolate cake mix, chocolate pudding mix, chocolate frosting (remembered I have to make a bundt cake for tomorow), pork chops (yeah! THAT’s what we’ll have for dinner!), broccoli (to make up for all the chocolate stuff), S’More granola bars for LilMiss, milk, 2 Donetello’s pizzas, and a salad.
$27.00 for a 12 pk of Diet Coke.