Tabloid Headlines That Make Editors Smile

Like most European countries, Norway abounds with tabloid newspapers that don’t actually make up the news like the Weekly World News does (well - at least not often), but instead distill the scandal from the real news and plaster it on the front page in big bold type. This morning, for instance, I saw this headline on a rack outside a shop:

WALDORF SCHOOL TEACHER CHARGED - SMS-FLIRTED WITH PUPIL (16) WHILE WIFE GAVE BIRTH

How long they must have waited for that combination! A teacher from a new-agey school, using those hip new SMS messages to lure an underage girl astray, while his innocent wife is engaged in that most helpless of all acts! The editor must have wept with joy when he heard of the story.

What memorable headlines have graced the tabloids at your supermarket lately?

It’s not from a tabloid near me, but I think the following article from the Mainichi Daily News fits the bill quite nicely.

Masochistic meat beater drops by cop box to choke chicken

“You’d hear an ‘Ouch!’” one neighbor tells Gatsun! “followed shortly after by ‘Oh, but it feels so good.’”

NUT SCREWS WASHER AND BOLTS