This is why I prefer Ameri-Do-Te.
So a parent of an eight-year-old is looking to start him on lessons. Grand preference for instilling self-discipline and would like a healthy dose of philosophy mixed in (preferably not airy-fairy new age watered down bullshit but age-appropriate discussions of/from original texts). I am assuming physical conditioning and mastery of certain forms would follow, especially if the first two are well met. Don’t give a crap about medals or competitions or whatever glitz is panned in the thread above.
Assuming also that I have no personal clue and to how to tell a McDojo from a place that focuses on quality education, where do I start?
If they promise a black belt, walk away, Just walk away.
Black belt devaluation is dangerous. Take a karate or Kung fu black belt and let them fight a jiu-jitsu black belt or a boxer for that matter. Who’s going to win?
Or if they try to sell you the “Black Belt Package”.
Of course, it all depends on you and the kid. Even a McDojo will instill some levels of confidence and competence, increased athletic ability, etc. If the kid just wants to learn a bit of that and have fun, you may be best off with that sort of thing.
Ah yes, Jiu-Jitsu, the Katana of the Twentyteens. 
At 8 years of age, a McDojo is not really bad for you. Frankly, its MADE for you. A McDojo will teach respect, values and discipline, not really sure about “original text” philosophy. It just won’t teach your kid how to fight. Seriously, the “way of the warrior” type stuff comes with actual martial arts, when you have to teach students when and how to use force and I would say that you should stick with schools where the youngest black belts look like they are in high school.
There will be physical conditioning, and stretching/flexibility involved no matter which school you go to. The forms/katas/poomsae will still be taught with varying degrees of rigor.
If you want to learn a martial art as a fighting style THEN you want to avoid McDojos because of their “everyone gets a trophy” attitude and social promotions so that no one gets embarrassed by failing a test no matter how much they suck.
In general:
If almost no one is sweating at the end of a class, you might be at a McDojo
If more than a couple of black belts are still in elementary school, you might be at a McDojo.
For Tae Kwon Do:
If sparring consists of patty cake and involves little to no jumping kicks, then you might be at a McDojo.
If you don’t have at least SOME sparring almost every day, you might be at a McDojo.
One of my favorite lines in the Avatar: The Last Airbender show was when Aang went to a dojo to learn earth-bending and on his first day the sensei tells him “Pay for a years lessons right now and I’ll bump you up to the next belt.” Great dig at McDojos.
Are you under the imprssion that Jiu jitsu is not struggling with the McDojo problem?
http://www.bjjee.com/articles/20-warning-signs-of-a-bjj-mcdojo/
I’m more inclined to laugh at the Jiu-Jitsu worship as ‘the ultimate martial art’ as another variant of the Katana trope;
“Don’t tell that to fiction writers, though, because the katana has a certain mystique that lends itself to exaggeration. A katana in fiction (and on film, Every Japanese Sword Is a Katana) can slice through anything as if it were butter. Further, merely wielding a katana makes one a superhuman fighter. A skilled fictional katana wielder can do implausible things like slice bullets in mid air, chop gun barrels off, and even slice other swords not as cool as the katana off at the hilt. The katana wielder him/herself will also be considerably more agile and skilled than any other weapon wielder. If on the enemy side, expect a katana wielder to at least be an Elite Mook, if not a Big Bad or The Dragon.”
It seems Jui-Jitsu lends itself to MMA fairly well and so it has a mystique of invincibility that would be less earned in actual multi-opponent or street combat.
BRAZILIAN jiujitsu lends itself well to MMA. But it just seems like a hyper specialized evolution of jujitsu/judo that is less useful than its root styles unless you have one and only one opponent.
Plain old jujitsu/judo are better balanced IMHO and can be more useful in a variety of different situations.
Something like tae kwon do (which used to incorporate judo style grappling (as well as punches and sweeps, etc.) when I was involved with it and probably still does if you can get away from the McDojos) is probably more balanced and generally useful in self defense. I suspect that if you get deep enough into any relatively balanced martial arts style, they start to look a lot like one another.
I remember Wing Chun being the “magical martial art” when I was a kid because that’s what Bruce Lee used. Then it was mystical ninjitsu with special hand positions or some bullshit like that. Then Steven Seagal got everyone thinking that Aikido must be the magical martial art because if THAT guy can be a badass with Aikido then it must be fucking magic. Now its Brazilian jujitsu.
Nah. I’m thinking about cross-training with this guy.
This is still one of the funniest websites I have ever seen. I wanna learn banana-do!
The individual who is better trained. I’ve seen karate guys beat BJJ guys and vice-versa. It’s not the martial art, it’s the martial artist.
In general, most of your generalizations are incorrect. I said most. I agree that everyone should go home sweating, but smiling. And although our style is ostensibly non-contact sparring, it ain’t patty cake. People get thumped. There’s nothing like seeing an opening, starting an attack, catching a sidekick in the gut and realizing you got suckered. 
I don’t see which of my generalizations you are disagreeing with.
I am saying you should sweat.
I am also saying that if the place is littered with 8 year old black belts then its a warning sign.
I am also saying that in the case of tae kwon do, patty cake is NOT acceptable at the black belt level (and probably not much past the yellow belt level)
And I am saying that sparring is an integral part of Tae Kwon Do.
Which of those do you disagree with?