You’re invited to a friend’s house to watch a game; it’s a small get-together, just 4-5 guys. The host is providing food, let’s say he throws some burgers on the grill and puts together a simple potato salad or something, and tells everyone they don’t need to bring anything, but everyone brings at least a six-pack of beer.
You show up with a six-pack of beer, two bags of potato chips and two tubs of dip to go with them. When you enter the house, you put the bag with the chips and dip down on the kitchen counter. Everyone gets food when it’s ready and watches the game, and the chips are seen by everyone but never opened.
After the game is over and everyone is heading out, you notice your chips and dip remain untouched.
I would just ask. I would probably ask if anyone else wanted them, as well. I no one did, I would take them home with me. I figure in that kind of very casual gathering, no one really cares.
It’s a gift. And you NEVER EVER TAKE BACK A GIFT because my mother will yell at you if you do. And she’s mean. And then she’ll yell at me and say it’s my fault for some reason. So don’t do it.
I’d leave it because it’s just chips and dip so I don’t care. But if I made my delicious pasta salad and there’s some left, well that takes effort to make and I hate cooking, so I’d take it, but that wouldn’t seem weird because I’d need my bowl back.
My mom once had a guest bring a single can of tuna and she’s already made lunch so they didn’t use it, and the woman actually asked for it back. And this wasn’t even a friend.
Given that my group of friends has a history of bringing/preparing enough food for 3x the people attending the host/hostess usually has bags prepared to hand out at the door and won’t let you pass without taking one.
I bought and brought it under the assumption that it was going to at least be opened, and at most, be eaten. I don’t bring something to another’s house hoping that I’ll get to keep it. Leave it there and don’t ask. If the host insists that someone take it, I’d only take it if every other guest has already declined it and it’s clear the host doesn’t want to hang onto it.
If I were a single dude and the host had three teenage kids and people over all the time, I’d leave it, because how am I going to eat two bags of chips and dip? If, on the other hand, I was visiting a single person and I was the one with a houseful of hungry people, I’d probably take it. If we were all single, it would be some complicated calculus about who was the usual host and would most likely be able to serve the stuff.
If I were the host, I really would have no opinion on whether or not it was taken.
I’d leave it. I didn’t plan to bring it home and the last thing I need is more snacks around the house. Also, knowing my group of friends, there’s a good chance it will be used at the next get-together.
Also, I’m with SmellMyWort; it’s all about presenting the food. Opening the bags when you get there is a good way to get food eaten. Even if the bag’s somewhere noticable, a lot of people will hesitate to open an unopened bag of snacks but will be glad to take a handful from an open one. A sealed bag of chips in a grocery bag on a kitchen counter says “These aren’t supposed to be eaten today”. An open bag of chips on a table with other snacks says “Help yourself”. Better yet, a bowl of chips on a table with other snacks and with a sealed bag visible nearby says “Take all you want; there’s plenty more”.
I’m at two minds about this. At first, I wanted to go with potluck rules, which gives you dibs on taking your food back. The fact that it wasn’t touched implies no one likes it anyways.
But this wasn’t a true potluck, since you weren’t asked to bring food. On one hand, it’s still your food, since you weren’t asked to bring anything. On the other, it does seem odd to need to take back the food you brought, since, if you couldn’t afford to leave it, you shouldn’t have brought it. (This is less an issue at potluck, since everyone is actually expected to bring something.)
Weighing both options. I think it would be okay for you to take it back, but only because it’s a guy gettogether, and guys are less likely to overanalyze the social aspects of this. I personally would only take it back if I needed it, or if everyone knew that these were my favorites.
I don’t think I’d ask, since that would call attention to what I’m doing. I’d act like it was normal, and try to judge the reaction I got. Then I’d ask if they seemed a bit upset, since, once you ask, it becomes rude for them to say no, and thus won’t be able to blame you for taking them up on it. But, again, I think it’s unlikely anyone will say or notice anything.
Since you brought two of each and they are all still unopened, take back one of each, unless the host then hands you the second set as well while you are bagging up. And next time, remember to open one bag of chips and one dip as soon as you arrive and see no similar items already there and open. And put them on the coffee table to everyone can eat them throughout the game with ease.
I’d leave it because, as others have said, you bring things to a get-together with the idea of leaving it there, not bringing it home again. That said, someone fell down on the job by not opening them and offering them to everyone - very few people are going to wander into someone else’s kitchen and start cracking open bags of chips in there.
I’d leave it but I’ve been in situations where people have taken food they’ve brought home with them. It’s awkward, but whatever. Not like I need more chips.
Beer, on the other hand, please leave. I find it both annoying and weird when people bring a six back and take the one or two left home with them. There’s a guy I know who won a year of free beer from a local brew pub. He’d always bring a growler to a party, walk around bragging about how good it was, carrying it with him the whole time. At the end of the night he’d make a big production about how no one drank his great beer and take it home with him. Seriously, man, host gift, especially since we all know it was free.
Leave it for the host if it’s likely he’ll use it in the foreseeable future. I would only take it if there were heaps of food left over and he suggested he didn’t want it.
