Take off the shades, douche

Look man, it’s free pub poker, not the WSOP in Vegas, OK? You really don’t need to wear those stupid sunglasses inside the bar with your hat pulled down and earbuds in both ears. It’d be fine, I guess, if it wasn’t hurting anyone. But it was. You repeatedly threw out purple chips, thinking they were red chips, and yellows thinking they were white. You know why? Not because you’re a cheater but because you can’t fucking see, dumbass.

Not only can you not see, you can’t hear either. Take those headphones out or turn down your music so you don’t have to keep asking stupid questions. The dealer just said “Raise to 600. Calls the 600. Folds. 600 to you.” and you go “Is it on me?” ::sigh:: “Yes” “What’s the bet?”:smack: We have an actual deaf guy that plays with us regularly and he doesn’t seem to have any trouble. What’s your problem?

Thank God you didn’t make it past the first table.

I suggest getting this on a shirt for the next time you play.

Oh, please do. And report back to us about the look on his face.


I wasn’t playing poker or anything but I was talking to this chick the other day who left her sunglasses on the whole time.

It was obnoxious enough that I just stopped talking and walked away. I hate people who do that.

Oh snap, that is funny. I want to buy that shirt and wear it just because.

Frankly I’d like to see the hats and sunglasses gone from the WSOP. If you can’t maintain an actual poker face, maybe competitive poker is not for you.

I wonder if the rules would change if people started wearing Halloween masks at the table?

I have this fantasy where I go to the WSOP wearing a hood and sunglasses. Every once and a while, I peer over the shades and my opponent sees this. I wonder how badly it would mess up their game.

Or Klan hoods.

His future’s so bright, he’s gotta wear shades, dude.

People have tried it and been told to take them off. No cite, I’m afraid, just memory.

What’s the point of the ear buds?

Also can someone explain the T-shirt to me? I don’t get it (I know nothing about poker).

I don’t mind these at all. I think they’re a little silly, particularly when it’s not high stakes poker, but I don’t think they really do any harm. Besides, the most of the tells I tend to key off of aren’t so much from eye movement or whatever a hat is supposed to conceal, but things that can’t be concealed like betting patterns, speech, timing, fidgetting, etc. In fact, I think glasses are mostly a wash because while they might help cover up a tell you don’t want them to see, they also inhibit one’s ability to effectively broadcast tells like when you’re faking a bluff or whatever.

I DO think earphones are an abomination though. You slow the game down by not paying full attention when you’re in the hand. I wouldn’t mind so much if people took them off after deciding they’re going to play a hand and put them back on when they fold, since they’re only hurting themselves by missing out on the other action, but it’s still dumb.

Either way, in the case of the OP, yeah, he was a douche.

The point of the earbuds is to listen to music instead of playing cards. That’s my gripe.

Also, can someone explain the shirt to me? It’s firewalled at work so I can’t see it. Pretend I’m a blind man and describe it to me. And those “crazy eyes” while you’re at it.

3-6 tables are very low stakes, so the strong measures to hide your tells are overkill. The shirt is similar to saying “Why are you wearing a yellow jersey and aerodynamic helmet on your trike?”

I endorse this pitting. :cool:

Here you go. No changing identities at the table at the WSOP. :smiley:

It’s an image of a guy in glasses and hat with the caption, “why are you wearing a hat and sunglasses at a 3-6 table?”

Black T-shirt, B&W logo, rectangle shape. The left side is the head of a guy wearing a baseball cap and shades; the right side says “why are you wearing a hat and sunglasses at a 3-6 table?”

The “crazy eyes” are novelty contacts - jagged yellow iris with a blood red rim. They make the wearer look like the illegitimate love child of a vampire and a zombie.

Of course, if this gay marriage thing goes through, it’ll open up a whole new can of worms, and then we’ll find out what the legitimate child of a vampire and a zombie looks like.

OMG I didn’t think about THAT slippery slope. What about Werewolves? :cool:

Shades wearing emoticon used to maximize doucheyness (sp?)