Taking shoes off etiquette

[Malthus]

@Dogzilla

You’d be surprised at how non-observant people can be. I think, “Oh, you can leave your shoes/boots right over there” would be sufficiently polite. Assuming it’s a non-issue that does not require communication is why this thread exists.

I disagree. Check out the OP again:

I recently visited a new friend’s home for the first time for an evening of playing games with several other people. They have a “shoes off” policy at their house, which I immediately deduced by the several pairs of shoes on the front porch, the rack of shoes by the front door, and everyone in socks inside. I took my shoes off just inside the front door and put them next to the shoe rack.

My friend’s wife is Chinese (I think actually born and raised there). I know that in some Asian cultures not wearing shoes in the home is standard. I had not met her before, and as the evening went on, I did not like her.

When I went to leave, I couldn’t find my shoes. I asked, and the wife said she had put them outside. So I was then annoyed about what seemed like an obvious lack of hospitality, and about having to put on cold shoes.

[Emphasis]

In short, the OP had no problem figuring out what the policy was - s/he was pissed that his buddies’ wife put his shoes outside in the cold. In Canada, that’s not an issue - no-one puts their boots outside.

The OP “immediately deduced” what the policy was - which has been my experience …

[Acsenray]

Did the OP’s hostess watch him take off his shoes, leave them in the entryway, say nothing and then later moved them? If that was the case, I would concede it was weird. At that point it would have been appropriate for her to ask him explicitly to leave his shoes outside.

However, if the residents were not there watching when the OP took his shoes off and left them in the entryway, and the hostess later noticed and moved them to what she considered the proper place, I see no problem.

[perfectparanoia]

@Kimmy_Gibbler

I did notice that. In fact, I noticed it was an explanation of what he/she would if he/she were helping a friend move (aka “the worst favor in the world”) and the favor-requesting relocating friend hadn’t placed down cardboard.

Usually, after the first two times of going in and out the friend will either set up a rotation (people with shoes carry the item to the door, people without get it to the right location in the house), tell us to not bother taking off our shoes or put something down.

It’s just an instinctive response. I can’t walk on someone else’s floors (especially in a new place!) with my just-outside-in-the-dirt shoes.

[Gary_Robson]

I think people are reading a lot of fanaticism that’s really not there.

If it’s mud season and I’m wearing a pair of muck boots, of course I’m going to take them off when I go inside. But if I dressed at my house, put on a clean pair of shoes, walked down my paved walk to my paved driveway, got in my clean car, drove to your house, parked in your paved driveway, and walked down the paved walk to your front door, why would I think to take my shoes off (unless I knew it was your house rule)? They’re comfortable, pretty darned clean, and they keep my feet warm. It wouldn’t even occur to me.

We don’t salt roads here in the winter, by the way, much less the rest of the year.

[NinetyWt]

I also think that there are a lot of reasoned responses in this thread which are being forgotten because of a few rabid statements.

[tumbleddown]

@acsenray

Wow. Rolleyes city. People move guests’ coats (to closets or spare bedrooms) all the time without notifying them in advance. They could always be rummaged by some dishonest fellow-partier.

And that’s still different from putting them outside. It’s not just the matter of theft, there’s the matter of weather. There’s the matter of the shoes getting cold. (I put my shoes in front of the heat in winter before putting them on, because I have arthritis in my feet. Otherwise, I’m going to be in pain.) There’s the matter of animals. Are you really unable to recognize that things happen outside that do not happen inside?

[Autolycus]

I’m in Japan currently. At other people’s houses, it’s always shoes-off. At my place, I usually take off my shoes, but not always. I don’t care what others do, except for the tatami room. That is a shoe-free zone, even for me. It gets dirty really easily and well I guess I’ve absorbed enough native culture that it just skeeves me out.

[CanvasShoes]

@Nzinga_Seated

Well, since ya’ll are twisting my arm.

Here ya go.

Those were the only pair left. When you are a size 10, you thank your lucky stars to find the shoes you like.

Keeee YUTE! Man, I wish I could still wear high high heels like that. To wearing them in much fun and fashion!

[bengangmo]

[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:144, topic:572612”]

I think people are reading a lot of fanaticism that’s really not there.

If it’s mud season and I’m wearing a pair of muck boots, of course I’m going to take them off when I go inside. But if I dressed at my house, put on a clean pair of shoes, walked down my paved walk to my paved driveway, got in my clean car, drove to your house, parked in your paved driveway, and walked down the paved walk to your front door, why would I think to take my shoes off (unless I knew it was your house rule)? They’re comfortable, pretty darned clean, and they keep my feet warm. It wouldn’t even occur to me.

We don’t salt roads here in the winter, by the way, much less the rest of the year.
[/QUOTE]

I dunno, but my default setting is always shoes off, no matter how clean they are. Unless there is some clue at the door that everyone else is leaving them on.