Good for you!! Way to take a challenge and meet it head-on. You’ve taken/are taking what could have been a huge mountain and are making it into a bump in the road.
That sounds like an excellent plan, Arachne.
I would only like to add that from reading your posts, it does not sound like you fooled around, stayed drunk, skipped all your classes and so on. You just had some difficulty academically…so for heaven’s sake quit thinking that you have “done something to your family” !! Do NOT carry guilt around with you! We all have feet made of clay and we all trip once in a while. That is not disrespecting your parents or failing them in a ny way.
Had you not been taking steps to recover from this problem, then I could see a problem, but you’re doing the best you can, a nd that is praiseworthy in my book.
You sound far more responsible than I ever was way back when!
Sincerely wishing you the best.
Sounds good.
Hope not to sound too sappy - but if you really knuckle down you might find that you grow in many respects from this experience. (Not to urge folk to activery seek out such growth opportunities!;))
Sounds like the school part is well out of crisis situation. Congrats. No mean feat and many would have done worse (tho don’t allow yourself to believe that you didn’t fuck up in the first place.)
But keep aware of all of the facets beyond school. You seriously harmed your relations with your family. of course that should not be irreparable. But don’t just assume things will get resolved over time. Give some serious thought as to what you can actively do to improve things with your folks. Improve communication - a supportive family may well be the single most important factor in most people’s “success.”
And put some hard thought into whether 4-year college - at UConn or its equivalent - is for you. Seriously check out the alternatives. And if you do not have a part-time job, this might be a time to get some experience there as well.
Yeah - life can be hard work. Welcome to it.
That’s great news, Arachne!
Having difficulty academically is not doing something bad to your family, I agree. Hiding the evidence of academic problems is kind of problematic, though. I could understand why they might be miffed at that. OTOH, I can completely understand why she would do it- most people don’t want the people they love to see them fail at something.
I wish we could get her parents to understand that emphasizing all the money they’re spending (if that is, in fact, what they are doing) is making it harder for her to come to them when she’s having problems, though. It’s a balancing act, like so much else. If you don’t emphasize the importance of doing well in school at all, you run the risk of having kids think they can goof off all they want. If you over-emphasize it, you make it hard for them to come to you when they need help. The latter is especially a problem with kids with a more sensitive temperament.
You can probably tell that I can relate to that situation, big-time. I’m a sensitive type, and my parents (particularly my mom) tended to over-react at any hint of bad news when I was in school. As a result, at age 34 I don’t really feel like I can talk to my parents about problems in my life. If I’m having problems at work, or health problems, or financial problems, they’re among the last people I would ever want to talk to about those problems. If your kid feels like s/he can’t talk to you about problems s/he is having in school, that probably means they won’t want to talk to you about other problems they’re having, and that problem will not go away at graduation.
I did physics also, and found it to be exactly the opposite (as did my classmates). The “core” 100-200 level classes and math prereqs were set up as very high paced and difficult weed out courses. When I hit the 300-400 level courses, it felt like playtime in kindergarten. The department then behaved like teaching (instead of testing and assignments) was its primary role gasp and gave the students lots of support and freedom.
It’s going to vary between one university and another, of course. It may vary, too, from one professor to another.
It’s also going to vary with when you went to college. All the weed-outs were probably toned down a bit when I was in college, because I was born in 1975. There were a low number of children born in the US that year, so that means fewer college applicants 18 years later. And that means they can’t weed out as rigorously as they could if there were more people.
Probably also helped that my university had three separate intro physics classes for pre-meds, engineering students, and physics majors (They also had a few “physics for poets” classes). As a result, I didn’t take the classes that were intended to cut down the number of pre-med or engineering students. I’ve heard that those classes are run much more like weed-out classes.
Meh, I got kicked out of university not once, but twice. Both times I carried on at CC. After the second time and a year at CC, I returned to the university for a year and then withdrew. It took me 8 more years before I decided to return to finish that degree. You do what you want but, let me tell you, if you do want to finish it try do do it before you have kids. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t impossible, but it does make it tougher.
It probably had a bit to do with my uni having a very small physics department (~70 students). The 100-200 level courses, which shared as prereqs and electives with other majors, were vast 200+ lecture hall affairs, while the core physics dept classes often only had 6 or fewer students in them. They couldn’t afford to lose any juniors/seniors early 
Dropping out of college was the best thing I ever did. I went to the University of Cincinnati for my first year and dropped out by spring semester with a horrible grade average (I want to say it was .8). Like you, I had no idea what I want to do when I dropped out and kept switching majors.
What worked for me was going to a community college. At my community college I was able to take a much wider variety of classes for cheaper and I explored my interests. The subject I ended up in (Biological Anthropology) was far different from my general Liberal Arts major, but this is a field that I know I love. The other advantage of being in a CC was that I was able to really shine. I joined the Honors Program, made very good friends with my teachers, and participated in a lot of clubs and extra-curricular activities. The smaller class sizes helped a lot and I found I do much better academically when the teachers know me by name.
After working my ass off at the community college, I graduated with a 4.0 and was accepted into all the colleges I applied to including Columbia University. So yes, it is possible to drop out of a decent school and end up being accepted into a much better, Ivy League one
In the end, I chose to go to UC Davis, as they had a better program for my particular field of interest and they were going to pay me to attend. I graduated last summer and I’m currently working in an amazing job that’s nearly impossible to get.
I think the key to making a success of yourself after dropping out is:
- Make sure you get into a good community college
- Make friends with your professors there and show yourself to be an above average student
- Figure out what you want to do at the community college, then return to do it
- Transfer when you are ready and when you transfer, make sure it’s to a school that meets your needs
My parents were devastated when I dropped out, but now they brag about me all the time.
I messed about in university, took 6 years to complete a year and a half of a course. I didn’t drop out, because I just can’t take a stand on things and fobbed my parents and the university off with excuses about coming back to do better.
I dropped out (technically I did, I knew the last meeting with the university would be a shove, so I jumped first!) and within a year had met all new people and had a girlfriend who was pregnant.
Ok, she then dumped me and I see my daughter weekends only, but the person before would never have had any chance of a girlfriend alone.
I thought it worthwhile to highlight this. Getting a college degree is not your only vector to succeeding as an adult (though it is helpful). I flailed my way through college, disappointing both myself and my parents many times along the way, and still found my way to a successful career (of which my parents are super proud, heh). It sounds as if you’re on track, though, and I wish you the best of luck! (For the record, I did eventually slog my way to a Bachelor’s degree, but it was with tons of help from my awesome advisors, understanding professors, and weekly sessions with the campus psychologist; colleges have loads of resources for struggling students – use them!)