As my mom and my in-laws are facing their inevitable mortality, they’re distributing things that are precious to them, but may not be so precious to the recipients. For example, my MIL has given my daughter the remaining pieces of her 73-year-old wedding china - one small plate and a covered tureen in a style and pattern that my daughter would never have chosen, and chances are she’ll never use these things. Recognizing what they mean to her grandma, she’ll likely hold on to them out of guilt, long after her grandparents are gone.
I have a Franklin Mint vase that belonged to my grandmother. It’s a dust-collector. My daughter doesn’t want it, but it sits on the shelf because I’d feel guilty getting rid of it. And no, it’s not worth much of anything - more’s the pity because my grandparents bought lots of stuff like that as “investments” so all the grandkids have similar burdens.
The only thing I have that I hope my daughter and granddaughter will cherish is the Singer treadle sewing machine that belonged to my grandmother. It still works - I actually made a dress on it some eons ago. I’ve searched in vain for a photo of it in my grandmother’s house - but back in those days, you didn’t waste your film on silly things like that. All I can do is write a few paragraphs about the part it played in my childhood, how it came to me, and hope that it’ll mean something to them. Not that it’ll matter to me after I’m dead, but still…
Do you have thing(s) that you only keep because they meant something to someone else? Do you have things that may one day be an albatross to your kids and/or grandkids? How would you feel if they said “Please don’t leave < item> to me.”
Yes, actually. My grandmother had a vast collection of glassware, Mary Gregory. When she died, it was split five ways - between my mother, her sister, my cousin, my brother, and myself. None of us wanted it but none of us wanted to sell it or donate it to a museum. Except me. So I was basically compelled by honor to accept a couple dozen pieces of fragile glassware that has been gathering dust for two decades. When I suggested donating my share to a museum or (gasp) selling it, everyone freaked the fuck out. So here I am, the unwitting curator of priceless family artifacts that I don’t want but can’t get rid of.
IL’s GGrandmas small curio cabinet, holds Gmas tea set and some wedding porcelain.
I’m done looking at it, want it moved out of my kitchen so I can set up a coffee bar in its place.
As soon as the broken Grandfather clock in another room is disposed off I plan on moving GGmas cabinet there. Where it will share space with GGGmas child rocking chair and hope chest. I’m okay with the chest and little rocker. Also have ancient baby dolls sitting in the rocker collecting dust. Eyes that never shut creepy dolls.
SO can’t say no.
I have my moms and Gmas silver plate flatware, some China and crystal. I love it! I use it everyday. I shipped their Kling dressers to my house, mahogany gorgeous. I display old family photos on it. Got lots of those too. Even these huge portraits of the greats in their later years, I hide it in a closet as they are grim looking.
Oh reminded by above, an entire collection of Fostoria still in moving boxes from 2002. I opened one box pulled out a few pieces for display with the intent of rotating through the collection some neat stuff. Way too much, in-laws invested thousands and had fun collecting it but
No one else wanted this stuff, Will my kids want it, maybe.
I’m adding: fortunately, except for her portion of the Mary Gregory, my mother has steadfastly avoided adding more objects into her home, and periodically throws away anything that she can’t justify keeping (Marie Kondo would be so proud). My wife’s mother does indeed have a lot of familial bric-a-brac, but it’s all in a corner of her basement, and it will be my brother-in-law’s problem after he dies (he’s inheriting her house, we’re inheriting the rental property we rent from her).
I’ve inherited my mother’s distaste for objects. If I outlive Mrs. H I’ll probably move into a camper van and travel the country in my remaining years; I’ll have no need of anything that doesn’t have a practical use.
The wife’s mother’s hutch-with-credenza. Big, heavy brute that nobody wants. My stepfather’s jewelry, as noted in another thread: cufflinks, tie bars, etc. with nearly zero monetary value. Family photo albums, of course. Don’t get me started on non-heirloom stuff.
Luckily I’ve been able to steer almost all the family heirlooms onto my cousins, who have kids of their own. It’s some of Mom’s stuff I’m still stuck with. A couple of silver sets that are barely worth melt value these days, stuff like that.
My parents have several sets of formal china, cut crystal wineglasses, silver-plate flatware, various figurines (including some tacky Hummel stuff) and so forth. They want my brother and me to take this stuff. My brother lives with his wife in a small house and they at least have people over. Meanwhile, I live alone and never have guests but they don’t want it. My parents used to have dinner parties in the 1970s and 1980s, back when that was the thing to do. But even then, there was never an occasion to break out the Wedgwood china or the fancy wine glasses. So I don’t get why they think I would want this stuff. I think they think, it’s good stuff so it must be desirable, but the sad thing is that most of it is not. (And then there’s all that furniture.)
I dread to think of how we’re going to empty out that big house.
Firms that do estate sales are a thing. They will take care of sorting, cataloging, pricing, and selling (for a fairly substantial cut).
You might want to pick a couple things out to keep if they’re meaningful to you but otherwise, you’ve got memories and pictures and I’m sure the stuff isn’t the important part of either.
I have all sorts of photos of relatives i never met, that i really don’t care about. In theory I’m going to scan them and give copies to my siblings, who feel we need to keep them. In practice they are taking up space.
We have a grandfather clock that has been the family albatross for the past 50 or so years. The thing is huge and completely dominates a small room. My aunt always liked large, showy impractical things and so she originally got it for my grandfather. I guess she felt that a grandfather should have a grandfather clock.
Over time and with the passing of the aforementioned aunt and grandfather this clock has been shipped at great expense between several family members several times. That clock has been back and forth between FL and various locations in WI so many times it probably has more miles on it than a Peterbilt.
It currently sits at my step mom’s house. It looks good where it is, she’s got a big enough living room where the beast actually fits aesthetically. But since my dad passed she’s decided she doesn’t want the clock and wants it gone. I’m the only remaining relative so I guess it’s up to me to take it. It doesn’t work, would be very expensive to repair and I don’t have any place to put it either. I’ll put it in my garage and put an ad on Facebook Marketplace for a few days and try to sell it or give it away. If I can’t get rid of it that way I’d just bust it up for firewood. I’m not even sure if it will make good fire wood. I think it’s mostly laminated particle board construction.
My mother was an antique dealer. She died with tons of stuff, even though she’d been out of the business for years. However, she would sell anything, at any time. We’d come home from school and the dining room table would be gone, or your bedroom furniture. When she died, we took what we wanted (mostly art) and consigned the rest to an auction house. She wasn’t sentimental about stuff, and we didn’t grow up to be, either.
It seems such a shame, much of the furniture and other stuff is good stuff, so you think someone might want it. But tastes change and stuff is really cheap enough that most people can get what they want.
We were just talking with a couple about doing the estate sale/yard sale of the stuff my in-laws won’t want to move next month. They say it can be a challenge to find places to take donations. Ocala is a retirement location, so Habitat and Goodwill get way more than they can handle. I’m sure there are places where the furniture and such would be in demand, but the cost of transport makes it impractical. Such a shame.
I expect a lot of their stuff will end up in a landfill…
Yeah, it is a shame. We’re cleaning out my mother’s apartment, and she had lots of nice furniture. I’m told there’s a market for the lightweight “mid century” pieces, but she has a lot of lovely heavy formal pieces, too, some with gorgeous burl inlay. And we’ve been told to treat them as worthless.
looks all around 
