Teaching my son to drive... tell me what to expect, offer advice

In My Humble Opinion
21

Well since my daughter just started driving on her own this week I have some recent experience with this topic. First off I would agree that a driving school is the best, but even then you will need to take him out driving as (at least here in Washington state) you need to have 50 hours behind the wheel, including 10 hours at night with a licensed driver. And it takes awhile to get 50 hours which actually surprised me.

But having the driving instructor say the same thing you say, does reinforce it in the kids mind. It is amazing how an outside person validating your comments as a parent makes a difference in attitude.

Secondly you should contact your insurance company and see if they offer any kind of program. Ours did which involved tracking 20 drives and a sheet you fill out for each drive–but going through that program qualifies you for a good discount when your kid gets his license and you want to insure him. Also if your kid has good grades, etc that helps. Let’s put it this way–to add my daughter to our insurance was only $40 more a month on a 1994 Miata which shocked me as I was expecting it to be much more. But the age of the car, doing the insurance program, being a straight A student AND being a girl all helped her.

As for advice…hmmm…well be prepared to be critiqued on every little thing you do. They have eyes like hawks and any infraction you do will be pointed out. "you know you were supposed to signal there’ or ‘you do know that is actually not legal’ :slight_smile: Just a heads up.

On Freeway driving we found a fairly isolated freeway section with two ramps about a mile apart. She drove back and forth for over an hour, merging then exiting, then merging then exiting. She is good at it now. Same with parallel parking, she is great at it. But she practiced a lot.

I did teach her how to drive a clutch because two of the three cars I own have clutches, but I also think it is an important skill everyone should have. That wasn’t the easiest thing I have ever done, but she is pretty damn good at it now, so it was worth teaching her.

All in all it wasn’t that bad of an experience. I am still nervous about her driving, but each day she has more and more experience. I took her out Wednesday evening to get gas as she had never done that. So now she knows how and I will admit I was rather impressed with her driving that evening. Much improved since the last time even.

I just got back from the gym and I passed her going the opposite way to school. I was oddly proud of her for some reason. Good luck!

22

**Dweezil **is learning. He got his permit in July, over a year after he could have done so (limited interest, then it took 3 tries to pass the initial test).

I took him to the high school parking lot on Sunday mornings on several occasions to give him the initial hands-on experience, then had him drive around the immediate area (a large circle from the high school to home, then back to the high school via a different route). Then I hired a driving school to give him some lessons.

We’re still somewhat early into this process. He definitely doesn’t use the muscle-memory to do car stuff the way we all learn to do with experience; still has to consciously think through every action. I’m hoping he’ll start acquiring that soon!!

Some suggestions I’ve gotten from other parents:

  1. Teach them that when you say “stop”, they stop. Now. No hesitation. We’ve had several instances of stopStopSTOPSTOP!!! because he hasn’t reacted initially - at times where failing to stop would have resulted in significant property damage and/or bodily harm. Still working on his reaction time for that.

  2. Have them narrate what they’re thinking and planning to do. We haven’t implemented this yet, because we worry it will divide his attention - can’t walk and walk at the same time when you’re just learning :slight_smile:

Our big worry is having him learn to drive more major roads. We’re DC-area, so you know what the highhways are like! I don’t see us letting him drive on the interstates around here for a LONG time yet.

23

I used to be a driving instructor. Strange job.

Everyone’s advice is good here. Pro lessons are a good thing. Here in California they’re required.

The one complaint I heard from kids about their parents teaching them is the lack of patience/ yelling thing. They’re nervous enough without that. Be cool.

Don’t be afraid of grabbing the steering wheel if they’re going off the road, but make sure that they ARE going off the road. Give them a chance. Also, if your car has a hand brake between the front seats, you can use that. It won’t stop the car, but will slow it down good.

Opal, does your kid juggle, too? We found that kids who play a lot of video games, dance, play sports or a musical instrument have a real coordination advantage. MOST kids actually drive pretty well right out of the gate. Some are dismal, but by far most kids are okay right away.

On the other hand, adults are scary as hell to teach. Always dreaded getting an adult student.

24

You’re aware that in MA, he’ll be required to complete a drivers education class if he wants to get his license before he turns 18? The permit is good for 2 years, but he can’t get the license until he’s at least 16 1/2 as well.