No offense but from what I can tell from the grades, he isn’t going to be an engineer-I’m personally not going to be an engineer in a billion years and I currently have a C in physics (albeit working on raising in) and a B+ in pre-calc.
I think you’re exaggerating. I’m more concerned about his understanding of the material than his grades. I’ve gotten B’s in classes just because I had a teacher whose grading didn’t agree with my writing style, or other tiny conflicts like that. I’ll admit this is rarer in the sciences, but it happens – notably in a chemistry class and a calc class, and others were having the same problems as me. However, if he’s legitimately struggling at the conceptual level and not just slacking on homework or having issues with test-taking or whatever he’s in trouble.
Even so, “not going to be an engineer” is way harsh, it just means he needs help, he still has 2-3 years before college, he has time to get tutored or go for extra help. There’s a chance he’s just not cut out for it, some people just don’t have the mind for their true passion, but usually if they really make an effort and they love it enough they can make it work out. They may not be a rock star in their field, but they can at least be in it.
Hell, he might find a college setting easier than high school, or buckle down more in college. My situation for doing bad in High School was a tad peculiar and had more to do with mental illnesses than not applying myself – but my college record and my high school record are night and day. There’s every chance that as soon as he gets to the actual point in college where he can focus on his engineering passion that suddenly he’ll be honors student material.
I might agree with you if he was struggling with Ds and Fs in all the sciences, but Cs and Bs? I think he might need help, but he’s not DOOOOOOOOMED.
I’d mostly agree with this except the characterization of Honors History as academic fluff.
I would encourage him to work on his C’s but unless he’s claiming he can’t pull the grades up due a a lack of time I wouldn’t even bring up dropping activities.
I’m going to write out my initial reaction without reading any of the other responses to keep myself fresh and honest. My apologies if I end up repeating what others have said.
When I was in high school, I was somewhat similar to your son that I had a busy schedule outside of school, was smart enough to ace classes, but in some classes I just didn’t do the work. With that in mind, I have two thoughts:
First, I found it to be the case that I performed better when I had my time eaten up by activities. When you’ve got 6 hours available each night to do 2 hours worth of homework, somehow it ends up not getting done. When you’ve got 1 hour available each night to do 2 hours worth of homework, you fucking get it done. I’ve met other students and parents who noticed the same trend.
Second, I can say with 100% confidence that the classes I didn’t give a shit about in high school (which were exactly the same as those for which I received less-than-stellar grades) have had no appreciable effect on my life now. My joys and successes are a result of the many many times when I poured myself into the projects that interested me, and they are not limited by the few times that I didn’t. Also, I take pride in the fact that the things I cared about in high school (teaching myself guitar, editing Wikipedia, doing technical theater) were not regarded by others to be of the same importance as schoolwork, and I imagine your son might too.
I think his extracurriculars can probably carry him into an average state school - especially that bit about being a welding instructor. However, I do agree with Voyager that it would be better if there was a bit more discipline being pressured just because college profs and bosses aren’t going to be too pleased with “good enough” work.
That physics grade should be at least a B out of principle. HS physics is pretty intuitive and he’s got to get those basics down if he wants to pass the harder stuff down the line.
Also, it’s weird that he has no gym courses or band courses. Those are usually additional fluff A’s for HS freshmen/sophomores.
Lastly, summer school math might be a good idea because at this point I don’t think he’s going to make it to Calc by senior year and that’s a big bonus for HS applicants nowadays.
I think you need to pull up the entrance requirements for the local state school and go over them with him. He may not have made the connection at all between his choices now and his options later: he may know that to get into Harvard or Yale, he has to be perfect/obsessive, but not realize that even a solid state school has real requirements. He’s a sophomore? Did he take the PSAT? That score will be out in a couple weeks and should give you a good idea of his general trajectory. You can use that to show him what his choices will be.
Second, you’ve got to figure out why the grades are low. It could be any of the following, or a combination:
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He doesn’t give a shit. If this is the case, your only hope is to help him care: anything else will turn into an endless power struggle. I’ve seen more than one kid not graduate from high school to keep a parent from “winning”.
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These are not low grades. Different schools have different grading cultures. Rank is a lot more meaningful than GPA, especially as some schools weigh GPAs and some don’t. We only have 2-3 kids a year graduate from my high school with all As: some schools have 5% of the senior class with a 4.0. You need to talk to the counselors or even his teachers to get a picture.
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He lacks the organizational strategies to manage his time. Kids can be really, amazingly dumb about this stuff. I had a chronically late student once tell me that he left the house on time every day, and every day there was traffic. Therefore, it wasn’t his fault he was late. That’s teen logic. Juggling a schedule like your son’s is tremendously high level organizational thinking; he’s got 6-7 different “bosses”, all of which have both short-range and long-range tasks for him to complete. That’s tricky. Organizing your time has to be taught: you wouldn’t hand a kid a broom, watch him fail about and ineffectually bat it against the floor, and then punish him for not sweeping: you’d show him how to sweep. Parents that punish kids for not managing their time are often basically doing this: the kid doesn’t know how, and thinks that lack of skill reflects something innately lacking in them: they feel defeated and doomed.
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He lacks the academic skills to be successful. This is not saying he’s stupid. It’s saying he doesn’t know how to effectively study, or he doesn’t have some important background skills he needs, or he can’t read and extract important information, or listen to a lecture and summarize what he just heard.
You are in Tuscon? Your school almost certainly has an AVID program, and your son sounds like a prime candidate, if he’s interested in doing better. They work with “middle” kids, helping develop those academic skills needed to succeed in high school and college.