DO’H! I fell for this. But I was suspicious, so I looked them up in the blue pages before I wrote the check, and I even think I called to ask if it was legitimate. It was a couple of years ago, so I don’t remember exactly.
you have to think what is the best way to get back at a telemarketer.
The whole idea is keep them on the line, fully intending not to buy anything. Ask them tons of personal questions, questions about the weather, questions about their company, questions about astrology, questions about sport teams, questions about television shows, questions about anything you can think of.
At the end, tell them the reason that you won’t buy anything is because you don’t want to get called. For example, why do you use your long distance provider? They never call me and ask me to switch.
survivorology.com, my husband uses the same technique in dealing with telemarketers. They usually hang up on him after several minutes of getting nowhere. If it’s anything related to law enforcement, he goes into a long complaint about, oh, speeders on the expressway, where there should be new stop signs, where the stop signs should be removed and why, the various ways violators of certain traffic laws should be punished: “If they don’t use their turn signals, crush their cars! That’ll teach 'em!”
Sometimes he’ll talk like an insane pirate the whole time.
My friend’s husband talks really loud and pretends he can’t hear what they’re saying, repeating it back incorrectly. “What? You want me to support Public Butt Flossing?”
I’ve often thought about soliciting phone sex from telemarketers. “Discover card? You can help me save money by consolidating my loans? That sounds really hot . . .” It may not stop them from calling but hell, it’s something to do.
Sometimes I’m quite happy to have an extended conversation with someone I’m calling that has nothing to do with whatever charity I’m pitching. Thing is, I get bonuses based on a grid that divides the amount of money I’ve brought in by the number of contacts. If I run up too many contacts, my bonus goes down. So your strategy can mean a nice chunk of extra cash for me!
And then there are times when I am so sick and tired of answering machine after answering machine that I’m absolutely thrilled to talk to a live human being. You might not donate any money, but I get a much-needed break from “wait for the tone after the beep.”
The “keep them on the line” strategy works both ways. If someone is wavering, you keep them talking, you try to charm the hell out of them, and you can walk away with a donation that initially seemed unlikely.
Isn’t there a large insurance payout to the families of policemen (and women) killed in the line of duty?
You know, life is too short to argue with telemarketers.
As soon as I can tell a call is from a telemarketer, I just say “Please take me off your calling list” and hang up. My S.O. takes the time to say “No, I’m not interested right now.” Unfortunately, that usually just earns him a call-back a day or a week later.
Here’s a new tactic being used by my local phone company:
ME: Hello?
BELL: Hello, Mr. NoGoodNamesLeft?
ME: (Sigh), yes.
BELL: Good afternoon, sir, this is Timothy Annoying calling, I am your account representative with Bell Canada. I would like to ask you a few questions about your phone service.
ME: Are you selling something?
BELL: No, sir. I am an Account Rep. I call out to customers to make sure everything is OK with your service from Bell.
ME: Oh, OK. (Waiting to complain about the number of telemarketing calls I get at all hours of the day from them.)
BELL: Is everything OK with your current phone service?
ME: Um, yeah, no problems.
BELL: I see here that you have a basic line with no added features.
ME: (sigh) No, I do not have any features.
BELL: This month, sir we’re offering a discount on the first 3 months of call display, call forwarding or 3-way calling. Do any of these features sound like they may be of use to you?
ME: I thought you weren’t selling anything?
BELL: I’m not. I was just wondering if you…
ME: I asked you outright if you were selling anything, and you said no.
BELL: Well, sir, I noticed you don’t have…
ME: Look, I’m well aware of the services you offer. If I want one, I’ll call and order it. Don’t call my home at 9:30 at night, interrupt me with your call to sell me stuff, all the while hiding behind the veil of being my 'Customer Service Rep.".
I don’t want any of your crap, stop calling me, do not call me again. That means, put me on your do not call list. click
Now, I have 2 more problems with Bell Canada specifically related to TMing:
I’m certain they sell their newly assigned numbers to telemarketers. I got a new number 2 years ago, and was flooded with calls of all kinds on the first day my number went into service. How the hell else did everyone get my brand new, unlisted number??
Second, they sell a “Service A” that will allow me to trace back the last number that called my line. I can simply enter a code on my touchpad, and the last call received will be traced. I can get numbers of offending callers, crank callers, and annoying telemarketers. I can call back people who hang up, or keep the number for possible future legal action. Great service, eh?
Well, out of the other side of their filth mouths, they sell “Service B” that will block my number from being traced when I place outgoing calls. I can simply enter a code before I make a call to have it concealed. This is to protect my privacy when I call out to people.
Of course, their sales pitch for “A” involves no mention of “Service B” and vice-sersa. Isn’t this illegal? It’s certainly immoral. How can they create a service, sell it, and turn around and sell the work around for the service they sold the first time? It’s like if Norton Anti-virus was discovered as being the source of 90% of email virus’; just to keep selling their anti-virus software. (Which, by the way, wouldn’t surprise me)
I’ve taken to using the Junkbusters Anti-Telemarketing Script. It’s amazing how flustered some telemrketers get when they realize that you know the law, and that you are asking them more questions than they are asking you.
If you click on the links within the script, it takes you to the relevant part of the legislation on telemarketing.
If i’m in a hurry, or can’t be bothered going through the script, i do what Nametag does and hang up before the person actually gets on the line.
If my 2 yr. old son is around when a telemarketer calls, I put him on the phone. 
He loves to talk on the phone. After he wanders away, I hang it up.
Otherwise, I just do the quick “No thanks, put me on the do-not-call list,” and hang up.
The Junkbusters script linked by mhendo is great, and since I started using it, our telemarketing calls have dropped by about 90%.
One piece of advice: do not say “Please take me off your list.” This may or may not do any good. Say, “Please put me on your do-not-call list.” They are required to do so, and to henceforth refrain from calling you for 10 years, or they have broken a law. Seems counterintuitive, but you want to be ON the list, not off it.
Not telemarketing, but a “hard sell” all the same:
A few years ago, I went to Lancome to get some powder and lipstick, and noticed that they were having a promotion. If you spent a certain amount, you would get a makeover and a free photo (with the option to buy one of several photo packages).
Well, the amount I planned to spend would put me over the limit for the promotion, so I put off my purchase for another week and went back the day the promotion started. They made me up, took six different shots, and fixed an appointment for me to come back and look at the proofs.
When I came back for that, the photo rep or whatever he was listed the various packages for me, then asked me which one I wanted. Now, I had read the fine print very carefully, and I was under no obligation to buy copies of the photos. It wasn’t “Free makeover and one free photo with purchase of photo package”; it was definitely, “Free makeover and offer of photo package, and we’ll give you one free photo even if you don’t get a package”.
Furthermore, I had become dubious about even wanting a free photo, because I didn’t like the way the cosmetician made me up*. If I had originally been planning to buy photos, I would have reconsidered after I saw the results of the makeover.
So, knowing that the photo rep couldn’t force me to buy anything, I just kept saying ‘no’. No, not that one either. No, not even that one. No, I couldn’t afford it. No, I didn’t want to charge it. No. Thank you, no.
Finally, he said, “Did you know you couldn’t afford it when you signed up for this?”
Well, really. If I were Eve, I would have crossed my legs elegantly and fixed him with a stare that would have caused his skin to frost over. As it was, I merely said, “Yes, I did,” then chose the shot I figured Mr. Rilch would like best for my free photo, and left.
Again I say, I was within my rights not to purchase anything. I’m sure the photo rep was frustrated, but I just think his questioning of my motive was going that one step too far.
*She put the blush way too low, and changed the shape of my mouth. I don’t know why she would want to change my mouth; it’s beautifully cut and very full. Some philistines have claimed that it’s too full, and urged me to minimize it, which I refuse to do. But this person went outside the lines, and distorted the shape, very much like clown makeup. I wouldn’t have chosen that shade, either.
…through my lorngette. I could hold my glasses by one earpiece, but it wouldn’t be quite the same thing.
This is my policy as well, and a very sensible one.
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They always pronounce my mothers name wrong. When corrected, they normally repsond with “whatever” AND continue to use wrong pronouncation
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One chartible org. in our area called our house 4 times in 1 single day. Called the next day again after being told never to call again.
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We just switched to Bellsouth, and if we get ONE more call from AT&T I will have a nerveous breakdown.
My father-in-law has a somewhat hard to pronounce last name. Then the TMs call, they tend to butcher it. He says “You pronounced it incorrectly. You have two more tries to get it right.” That floors them. They try again and he says “Nope. One more try.” They try again. He says “Wrong again. Goodbye.” Best part is, if they do get it right, he can still say wrong.
Wow. After reading this and countless thousands of other complaints about telemarketers, I feel very lucky indeed. You know why?
In Sweden, we don’t have telemarketers.
I think I’ve been unwelcomedly called maybe three or five times in my 25 years on this Earth. One call was from the student association of a certain political party, who wanted to ask if I wanted to be a member. I didn’t. The rest were surveys of some kind. Those people, I take the time to help out.
But salespeople calling? Never. Ever. I love this country.
Kenny Jonsson rules! 
A quick websearch reveals to me that Kenny Jonsson is a hockey player. Unfortunately I’m totally uninterested in sports (and have even considered opening a Pit thread titled “I hate sports”), so I cannot concur or dissent with this statement.
Decent beer and no telemarketers. Pack me up, I’m moving to Sweden.