Telephone Rules

The BBQ Pit
1

#1 When I call you, it is because I want to talk to you, not your child. I do not mind saying a brief hello to little Johnny, but please do not make me have a long conversation with a three year old about his new truck, it is a long distance call for me and I certainly did not call to hear about his favorite TV show or a description of his new toys.

#2 If it is a bad time for you to talk, just tell me that and I will call you back at another time. I have no problem with it at all, however I do have a problem when we are on the phone and in the middle of a conversation you start saying " Good morning princess, did you sleep well ? Oh look, you did a poopie in your pants, you must need a diaper change. " and then give me a detailed description of the changing process. Like I said, if you have to go, just say so.

#3 If you are a business, please have the courtesy to allow me to speak with a human being, believe it or not, all questions can not be answered by a recording and I do not wish to spend my entire day punching in 1 for yes and 2 for no.

#4 If you are in any way connected to MCI, DO NOT CALL ME AT ALL ! I will call you if I ever decide to chance my long distace service. I would think that telling you this once should be enough, but you call twice a week. I will never change my mind, so just stop.

I do not feel that these rules are unreasonable. Start following the rules, NOW !

2

Oh my God, numbers 1 and 2 are HUGE pet peeves of mine. I resolved number 1 by just hanging up the phone. When “mommy” calls me back, I say “Oh, Jr. musta accidently hung it up”. After 2 or 3 times, mommy figures Jr. isn’t capable of holding a phone conversation without disconnecting, so she doesn’t do it again. Since most modern phones have a disconnect on the handset, I’ve not been caught yet at this.

Number two REALLY farking gets me. You’re in the middle of a sentence about something important, and suddenly you hear (into the phone, because God forbid they say “hold on” or “Oh, just a second”) “Hey, Joe- did you water the plants yesterday?..pause for answer…'cause if you didn’t I’m going to have to water them today and next Thursday, blah, blah”. These people need to be shot.

If you are on the telephone with someone and feel the urgent need to speak to someone in your house, say “excuse me for a moment”, take the phone away, and speak to them. If something requires your attention, tell the caller you’ll call back later. I do not want to listen to you talking to your husband, dog, kid, cat, or goldfish while I’m on the line. It is rude beyond belief.

On a similar note, if I’m on the telephone, save your urgent news for later, spouse. We can sit quietly for an hour, but the moment I pick up the phone, he has something urgent to tell me. Wait! I’m busy right now! Go away and come back later! This happens whenever I call my friend in NC, too- her husband interrupts 100 times with “tell her I said” and “tell her about” stuff. Go away! Call me yourself if something is that important! We’re talking, for Gods sake, and it’s not a party line!

I’ve taken to screening my calls and just calling everyone back on 1 designated day so at least this annoying crap only happens on my schedule. It drives me crazy that you should have to tell an adult that talking to someone else while on the phone is rude, as is putting your 2 year old on for 5 minutes of basically breathing into the phone with no words coming out.

3

I don’t have a problem with my SILs interrupting their phone conversations to straighten things out with their toddlers…that’s what parents do, and since I’m a parent of older children…well, been there, done that, completely understand.

I’m running into a bit of a problem with my 10 year old…she’s discovered the phone, and her friends have taken to calling her all day, every day. We’ve had to start putting limits on her calls…“No, we’re having dinner now, no, she’s practicing her guitar, no, it’s too late to talk to her tonight…etc.” But she’s only 10, so things will probably get worse before they get better. (And no, dammit, she’s not getting her own phone until she gets a job and pays for it herself.)

4

Bravo!

Especially re: MCI. In 1998 they slammed my (then) 80 year old grandmother for over 1,000.

Also annoying: I call the pediatrician’s office and tell the nice lady who I want to talk to. “Ok, I’ll transfer you to Dr. M’s receptionist.” Do I get to talk to the nice receptionist? No, I am immediately greeted by her #*%(#&% voice mail!

That is so rude!

5

I have a friend with call waiting. She has gotten into the habit of answering her other line in the middle of a phone call with me, and then having a lengthy conversation with whoever called. While I’m expected to patiently sit on hold. On several occasions, she “forgot” totally that I was on the other line. Now, being the bitch I am :D, I give her about a minute (ok, maybe less) and then I hang up. She can call me back when she’s done.

6

Alex that’s understandable.

7

I dislike “call waiting” intensely. I don’t have it, nor do I ever want it for a residential phone. Why people outside of a business feel the need to want to communicate with everyone they know or don’t know, all at once, is beyond me.

Waiting in the ether, when the other party was either the one who called me in the first place, or desperately wanted some info I had, then made me wait in the queue-of-telephonic-silence … grrrrr.

8

I llike to have very lengthy phone converstations. As a courtesy to other members of the household, I have call waiting. I do not talk at length with a second caller, but rather determine who is calling for whom, let each caller know the situation and quickly and politely get one of them off the line.

9

Sorry, lee. In your situation, call waiting is an asset. But some of my acquaintances live alone and have it. This is okay the first few times, but when it becomes a habit –

Ah, tch. Just my grumble.

10

When you call me on the phone, the proper greeting is not “Who is this?”

Simple etiquette: identify yourself, you assmunch and tell me what you want. Grrrr

11

I thoroughly dislike having a child answer the phone. All you tend to get are are a lot of “ums” and “ers” when you try to ask them if you can talk to Mom or Dad (not so much with older kids, but yikes, those little ones!). My daughter has answered my phone and gotten griped out for it (by me)–I know if I don’t like it, chances are that others don’t like it either!

I want to SCREAM right into the phone when someone calls ME and says,“Who’s this?” OK, so you got a wrong number, but it ain’t my fault! No need to act as if I did you a disservice by daring to pick up my own phone! Just say, “Oops, I think I have a wrong number–is this so-and-so’s residence? Oh, sorry!” and hang up, for cryin’ out loud!

NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE BY SAYING “WHO’S THIS?” WHEN I CALL YOU!! My nephew did that once when I called (see “child answering phone” peeve)–not “hello” or “hi”–he picked up the phone and said, “Who’s this?” ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!

IDENTIFY YOURSELF when you call! “Hi, this is Jane Doe. Could I please speak with John?”

Creditors and telemarketers–do not expect me to pass on messages to someone if you will not tell me who you are. And I don’t mean, “This is Mike, could you have Mr. Smith call me?” Mike who? Do I know you? No, I mean I want to know who you are calling for! I don’t need to know the particulars, just say something like, “I’m with ABC and I need to get in touch with Mr. Smith. Could you have him give me a call at 555-5555?” I will NOT pass on anonymous numbers! And I will NOT give out phone numbers without the owner’s consent!

AHHH!!! I feel better!

12

This isn’t something I can really blame anyone for, but at work I get the most wrong numbers of everyone in the known universe. I get something like 10 or 15 wrong numbers a day. Sometimes I wonder why I bother answering my phone.

My local begins with an area code of a nearby suburb, which accounts for part of it (DIAL FUCKING 9 FIRST, PEOPLE!) but the variety, the sheer variety -

However, you COULD say SORRY. Here’s how a typical call goes:

-matt_mcl.
long pause
-Qui?
-Ici matt_mcl, poste xxxx, service à la clientèle communications.
click

Would it kill you to say sorry, or excuse me, or i must have a wrong number, or something? You’ve just interrupted the flow of my day.

13

#1: Zette: Your solution is brilliant. I’m gonna try it.

#2: Guilty as charged. I’ll stop.

I don’t mind call waiting as long as the other person gets right back to me. I do hang up if it gets to be a long wait. I have it myself, but don’t answer it during a call unless there is some reason. Example: I’m just shooting the breeze with my ma while my husband is waiting for a call.