Tell a joke that only someone from your region will understand

Cafe Society
21

You Know You’re From Hawaii If…

You buy large quantities of toilet paper in case there’s a longshoreman strike…
You don’t understand why anyone would buy less than a 20-lb bag of rice…
You know what a plumeria is and which color would die first: yellow, white or red…
You know why there’s shoes and slippers outside of front doors…
You know why there are alphabets on trees or any posts on graduation day you know why there are alphabets on trees or any posts on graduation day
You know what lei day is…
You know what is the “stink eye”; and how to give it…
You can correctly pronounce Kalanianaole, Kalakaua and Aiea
You know what a “huli huli chicken” is…
You can name 3 varieties of mangoes…
You have at least one family member whose name is “_____ Boy; or “Tita”…
You have said, “Wat, owe you money?,”; “Karang your alas”; or “Da kine”…
You know the difference between being hapa and being hapai
You give directions using mauka and makai…
You know what it takes to get into Kamehameha School…
You know how to correctly pronounce “Likelike”…
Someone says the word “UKU” and your head starts itching. eeww…
You raise your chin to say “wassup” instead of nodding (like one haole)…
When making “Shaka” the back of your hand is facing out.
You say, “Nori” not seaweed paper…
You say “Brah” not “Bro”…
You know why Sharks Cove is called Sharks Cove…
You laugh at couples with cheesy Aloha attire…
If you get one pair of “tata” slippers…
When you e-mail mail people in pidgin…
You know what is “Morgan’s Corner”. (And it still scares you!)
If you’re immune to “leptospirosis.”
When it’s 70 degrees and it’s freezing to you.
You use “tako” instead of worms or fluorescent pink fish eggs for bait…
You got lickins’ with “da rubbah slippah”…
If you can walk through Waianae and not get mobbed…
You know that “Kukui nut” is not some mental person…
You’ve given Kahi Mohala’s number out to a guy/girl you didn’t like…
You call it “saimin” not “Top Ramen”…
The surf report is on your speed dial…
Your local kids wear slippers and shorts in November in Michigan! (inside the house, of course!)…
“Dressing up” means shorts and a aloha shirt.
You say “shave ice,” not snow cone or shaved ice…
Rainbow Drive-Inn is a special date.
You know pineapples don’t grow in trees.
When you hear the words fund raiser, you know it means Zippy’s Chili
Your mouth waters when you hear the words “li-hing mui.”

22

Washington, DC is the perfect blend of northern hospitality and southern efficiency.

23

What three Chicago streets rhyme with a lady’s body part?

Most busses go “beep beep” but Chicago busses go “Todaloop.”

What’s the difference between a Chicago Bears fan and Marty McFly?
Eventually Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985.

24

Civil War hero and railroad magnate Everett Peabody had three cities named after him:

Everett, Peabody, and Athol.

25

I had heard that as Peabody, Marblehead, and Athol - but the sentiment is the same.

26

Ever been phoned in Upton, Mass?

27

This one is great, got it right away. And I haven’t been to England in 20 years.

That guy does seem a bit clueless. I understood it right away and I avoid the south like the plague. Served with a shit ton of southerners tho, so I could decipher most of what they said.

28

I guess that means the American south isn’t the only place in the world that has sassy flirtatious girls.

I would like to add that Chris is a type A personality, so he tended to make a big deal about everything. I worked in the cube adjacent to his and he would gasp occasionally. I’m not talking a rapid intake of breath, but a really melodramatic Broadway stage-level gasp. It was usually because he forgot something and had just then remembered it. I made fun of him for it, and he said he got it from his mother. She would gasp like that if she forgot the parmesan cheese. He was our George Costanza.

29

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
BUBBLER!