As a lapsed Catholic, the same applies. When I visit my mom and she wants company at church…I do not take communion.
Yup. It basically boils down to, “If you’re not someone who believes that what you’re about to eat is the literal body and blood of Jesus, don’t eat it.” IIRC, Catholics themselves should also be in a state of grace to recieve Communion (i.e., haven’t committed any major sins since their last Confession).
You almost certainly won’t be the only one doing so- there will probably be other non-Catholic guests (your family is not Catholic, right?). There’s no need to feel weird about it. If you stay in your seat, the communion part of the Mass will go quicker.
No, you didn’t. You said he could get up and go along, but had no useful ifnormation about what he should do about it, and no mention whatsoever about the common practice for receiving a blessing but not the host.
To make it as simple as possible: There’s nothing wrong with just sitting in the pew quietly and respectfully the whole time. If you want to stand and kneel when everyone else does, or join in the songs, or walk up for Communion with everyone else (but not partake), that’s all fine, but not necessary.
And I’ve seen regular Sunday masses go as short as half an hour, or twenty minutes for a daily (which only have one reading + Gospel, not two + Gospel like a Sunday), but that’s pretty rare.
Occasionally, the priest will announce that non-Catholics can come up with the others during communion and choose to have a blessing instead of receiving the sacrament. This happens at about 10-15% of the Catholic ceremonies I’ve attended.
As a lapsed Catholic/agnostic, I do not take communion for the reasons posters have given above. It’s not like anyone knows what’s in your heart, but it is disrespectful, IMHO, to those who do believe.
edit: sorry, smiling bandit, somehow I glossed over your post re: the blessing.
Ah, quite true.
The bandit is correct, and this is one way to handle it without standing out like a sore thumb. FWIW, Orthodox are entitled to receive Catholic communion; it’s their own church stopping them. And many other churches believe in the Real Presence in communion, but are not welcome to receive Catholic communion.
How much meat do you get off of one of those?
Oh second read, I realize the emphasis I added may have been very rude of me. I apologize.
Though I recommend standing for a practical reason: it’s hard to see or hear if you don’t!
Maybe, but it was in response to a comment of mine that could have been construed as insulting to you (you were, after all, contributing something new). So, apologies and hearty handshakes all around, then?
Also, I should add that you shouldn’t be surprised to see people who don’t know anyone in either wedding party. It is a Mass and thus open to everyone. I actually had a friend who was worried about missing Mass as he had to work on Sunday, he was a nurse, and couldn’t make it to any of the Saturday ones. We drive by a church and saw a wedding about to start. So, we stopped, went to Mass, said congratulations to the families, and left.
I come from a long line of Catholics and as a result, have been to many Catholic weddings (15? 20? maybe more). Not every Catholic wedding includes a full mass; mine didn’t. It was on Saturday morning and we had two readings and the Gospel, then the priest gave a beautiful homily, then we did the candle-lighting thing for the mothers of the bride & groom, a couple prayers, exchange of rings and vows, and Bob’s your uncle. No communion. We were in the limo on the way to the reception in less than an hour.
The upside is, short ceremony and the party starts earlier. Downside is, you wake up the next day, your first day as a married couple, and go back to church for a regular service. The way to get around this is to have the ceremony later in the afternoon on Saturday, so it can be a full mass and it counts for the weekly mass attendance. And then your reception can go long, since you’re the last one of the day and they don’t have to turn the room around for the next gig. However, the later receptions tend to be more expensive.
It’s customary here for the sitting/kneeling/standing instructions to be printed in the wedding booklet. Then the non-Catholics (and those Catholics who haven’t been to mass in such a long time that they’ve forgotten) can know what to do.
To be honest, though, the “watch the little old lady in front of you” method is what most actual Catholics do at a regular mass, too. Occasionally you’ll get an amusing moment when one of the little old ladies gets it wrong, and the congregation finds themselves half-standing, half-kneeling for a few confused moments.
It’s funny 'cuz it’s true. I watched my (little old lady) grandmother whenever I was in church. You can’t go wrong with that.
The wine at my church is a blush, like a white zin. I’ve been to some churches where the wine was almost hard-cider ish. But the most common, IME, is some sort of blush.
Perhaps in your neck of the woods. But here I’d say that the vast bulk of regular mass-going Catholics themselves know when to stand/sit/kneel.
In any event, the clutch of little old lady parishioners isn’t likely to be in the front pews at a wedding. Hence the usefulness of having the directions written in the booklets.
Whatever the priest in that parish likes*. Or can afford – they use hefty quantities each Sunday.
Generally something bland and inoffensive – those also tend to be cheaper.
*But often the priest will keep ‘the good stuff’ for his own use at home, using a more generic inexpensive wine for services.
Sangria is not wine, it’s a cocktail. Some locations use red wine (often watered down by half); moscatel (a sweet white) is very popular as well. There’s specific brands which are sold as “Mass wine” but the priest can use any wine.
Watching my paternal grandmother in Mass would have worked; the maternal one watches her own daughter and every time she’s taken by surprise when there’s bits where other people kneel or stand and Mom doesn’t (medical problems)… so be careful with that method.
Please do not go up if you won’t take Communion, you’re just slowing things down and anybody who thinks ill of you for not walking up is an arse (with my apologies to behinds).