My older daughter is getting married next week in a Catholic ceremony (she embraced the religion a few years ago). I have never been to any kind of Catholic ceremony in my life, nor have I been to any christian services in over 30 years. My wedding took about 5 minutes at the courthouse. I’ve heard rumors that this Catholic thing can last for an hour. Is that true?? Please share any and all details so I can brace myself. Thanks in advance.
I have attended one, choosing to skip all after that and just do the reception. From what I remember it was looooong, with sporadic calisthenics; stand, sit, kneel, stand, sit, stand, sit…
I was married in a Catholic church, though it wasn’t the whole nuptial mass thing, since I’m not a Catholic.
The only important thing really is that (if it is a mass), then only Catholics should take communion. So while they go and eat and drink the body of Christ, you should just stay where you are. However, they will probably make that clear.
Other than that, just stand when everyone else stands, and sit or kneel when everyone else kneels – unless you have a physical disability, in which case no one will mind if you remain seated.
Yea, its a full Mass, plus at some point they pause for a few minutes to actually do the wedding vows thing, so an hour seems believable.
Not really a fan of the ones I’ve been to, not so much because it was long, but because the way they did it made it seem like the wedding bit (which everyones there to see) seem like a tacked on aside to the general religious ceremonies. Maybe your daughters priest will be better at it, though.
If it’s just the ceremony, it’s over in about 15 minutes. However, many Catholics choose to have a mass and that is about an hour. If you are going to the rehearsal, you should get the low-down there.
a wedding or a wedding mass would be expected to have noncatholics there. the ones i’ve been to the priest gave directions on when to stand, kneel and sit. lots of sit time and people do pass on the little kneeling because of discomfort/pain (even if catholic) or are noncatholic.
The full “Sacrament of Matrimony” in the Catholic Church typically includes Mass. This plus the actual wedding ceremony typically makes the entire service OVER an hour… anywhere from 1 Hr 15 min to 1 hr 30 min long.
Do’s and Don’ts:
DON’T…[ul]
[li]listen to any kind of music player during the ceremony[/li][li]play on a PSP, GameBoy, PDA, iPhone, or any other electronic device[/li][li]read books about the occult, vampires, or anything “new age”[/li][/ul]
DO…[ul]
[li]Wear comfortable shoes[/li][li]feel free to get up and use the bathroom if it is absolutely necessary[/li][li]sing along to any songs you feel comfortable with[/li][/ul]
Typically, a “Catholic wedding” is a nuptial mass – including the Entrance Rite, the Liturgy of the Word (music and readings usually chosen by the couple in consultation with the priest), the actual sacrament of Matrimony, where vows and rings are exchanged and the priest pronounces the church’s blessing on the couple, and then the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the ceremony in which bread and wine are consecrated and the newlywed couple followed by their Catholic guests receive communion.
This page has a breakdown of the whole shebang. If the priest is cool, he’ll rush through the boring mass stuff and get you out of there in a reasonable amount of time.
I recall going to my cousins Catholic wedding when I was just 15 and being told that it was traditional for a fight to break out at the reception and sure enough I wasn’t disappointed.
I go to boring weddings. I have never been to one with a fight at the reception.
Apropos of nothing (other than the fact that this thread references Catholicism), what is the sacramental wine like? Soft and tannic like a good Pinot Noir? Sweet and juicy like a good Sangria?
Enquiring (Protestant) minds want to know!
We sweated to death for an hour in one of those in September. Seriously, it is LONG. You’ll know what to do by watching the little old lady in front of you, though. Just don’t take Communion. It takes FOREVER. Seriously. My family up there (this was in Pittsburgh) couldn’t believe that a Southern Protestant wedding takes fifteen minutes, TOPS, and that includes everybody sitting down and a bunch of people lighting candles and crap. I think they thought I was kidding or something.
They also did this taking-flowers-to-the-Virgin thing I’d never seen before, and the nuptual blessing which you could tell had had something sexist taken out of it but her part still involved keeping a nice house.
Non-Catholics generally aren’t expected to do stuff like kneeling. Just stand when everybody else does, and sit the rest of the time.
A lot of churches are nixing the wine right now because of the flu scare – no sharing of drinking vessels. So it might be just the wafers, which might speed things up.
1.) If the wedding ceremony includes a Mass, an hour could be a **conservative **estimate. A **normal **Mass is designed to run an hour. Ones specifically designed to be short will be about 45 minutes, but when I was a kid and still Catholic ('80s-'90s), our Sunday morning Mass generally ran about 75 minutes.
2.) **Do not **take Communion if you are not Catholic. The Roman Catholic Church teaches the transubstantiation of the bread and wine into the literal body and blood of Jesus–to eat it if you don’t share those beliefs is incredibly insulting. If you feel weird about just staying in the pew/chair, it’s okay to go up but not take anything.
3.) As for sitting/standing/kneeling, “when in Rome” (no pun intended). Sitting while others kneel is acceptable. Depending on the parish, there may be no kneeling at all, just standing and sitting.
Fun related story:
Mom is Catholic and Dad was raised Lutheran. When they were married, it was in a Catholic ceremony, including Mass. Dad’s parents had never been to a Catholic Mass before, and since they’d be sitting in the front pew where it would be harder to see what everyone else is doing, they asked him if there was anything they should be aware of. Dad said, “Just remember: whey they ring the bells, stand up and shout ‘Halleluja’!”*
Dad told Mom’s sister, her maid of honor, about it ahead of time, and she made sure to keep an eye on my grandparents. Fortunately for them, they didn’t quite fall for it, but my aunt could see them kind of hesitantly starting to rise a couple times, looking around as if asking, “Is this it? Do we get up now? Is this when we do it?”
*The bells are rung at specific points during the Consecration, i.e. when transubstatiation is believed to take place. It’s very quiet, very solemn, and everyone remains kneeling.
WOW! I knew you all could fight my ignorance! Thanks to everyone for the great information. I surely didn’t want to embarrass my daughter and her new inlaws–I think I’ll just keep my mouth shut and my tail in the pew. My younger daughter got married in a “hall”, so it was just like one big party. I’m so glad I asked.
This is true, but you can get up, walk along with everyone, and cross your arms. In most parishes this is a clear signal for “Bless me,” and they will do so without offering you the Host.
Oh, and don’t flinch when they sacrifice the baby. If they think you’ll turn them in, you’ll be marked as the next to go.
GQ disclaimer: It’s a joke.
ETA: Pssst, smiling bandit, read two sentences after the one you quoted–I pretty much said the same thing.
From my experience (and I shoot weddings for a living), a full Catholic marriage ceremony including mass (communion) takes about an hour to an hour fifteen at most. The hour and a half estimates are liberal, in my experience. I’ve never been to one that takes that long.
If there’s no communion, they still tend to last into the 35-45 minute range. I’ve never been to one shorter than a half hour.
As far as wedding ceremonies go, they’re on the longish side, but not anywhere near the length of other religions, like Hindu ceremonies, for instance, which typically are 1.5 to 2 hours, sometimes more. On the plus side, they usually serve ice cream or other snacks during a Hindu ceremony.