I find it kind of funny that in the USA there is a certain “uncanny valley” aspect to homophobia. Openly gay guys can to a certain extent express themselves…openly, even in some cases act flirtatiously with secure straight guys because they both know where they stand.
And guys in hyper masculine situations where every one is assumed straight can joke around excessively, calling each other names, slapping asses, wrestling around, dressing in drag as a gag, playing homo chicken, and undergoing questionable hazing rituals.
It seems mainly in the “is he or isn’t he?” category here that people get freaked out and act particularly badly (not always the case obviously, but it seems like this is the place where things peak). I guess it’s the uncertainty that really triggers the gay panic a lot more than the gayness per se.
Have you noticed this? I’d love to hear stories in all three categories.
I’ve noticed an obsession with classifying orientation in the USA as you said, it extends to trying to divine the sexuality of toddlers even(based on stereotypes and bullshit:rolleyes:) and bisexuals are not treated well. Bisexual men are a kind of boogey man to some straight women I’ve noticed, they are out there just waiting to give you AIDS!
My nephew asked me how on earth musicians of the 70s and 80s got away with all they did, he said they would all be outed and labeled gay within seconds nowadays.
I’ve been starting to think I was alone. I don’t understand this obsession either. I’m only interested in what kind of sex I’m having, and what kind of sex certain porn starlets are having, and I don’t have any desire to find out what kind of sex anyone else is having or to categorize them on that basis.
I’ve seen it referenced as “gay chicken”. It’s a one-upmanship game of sorts between (presumably) straight males, in which they engage in escalating sexual advances/homoerotic activity until one chickens out. Most commonly, it’s just moving in for a kiss. Bizarrely, the one who declines to further engage is often declared “gay”.