Tell me, am I being a totally unreasonable ass here?

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve been on edge the past few days and I am beginning to wonder if I keep this up I’m either gonna become a bully and/or get the crap kicked out of me by someone bigger than me or doesn’t like the way I look. Here’s the fill in:

Flashback 2 days ago.

I’m happily riding my motorcycle back to work after a good lunch. I work a grand total of 3-4 Kms from home, not far. Most of the way is on a 2 lane one way street. I turn onto the one way from home and get going. A guy in a pickup truck is going real slow. Since this is a 2 lane one-way, I think no sweat, I’ll get into the other lane and go around him. As soon as I get into the other lane I see why he was going so slow. A lady driving a Chrysler Intrepid is heading right for me driving the wrong way on a one way street. I’m doing about 70 Km/h at this time. Front and back brakes lock up, shit my pants and flip quickly into the other lane. She continues driving, hand over her mouth the wrong way. Whatever, I keep going since the emergency is averted and I’m not going to die… yet.

About 2-4 minutes later, I’m ALMOST at work. I have to turn left. No sweat, controlled signal with dual turning lanes. I stay in the outside turning lane as I need to turn right immediatly afer (well, about 100 meters) after the left. As I am slowing to a stop (I have a red light) I start gaining on the guy that is also turning. He is in the inside lane, on my left. As I get right next to him he decides he wants in MY LANE. Problem is, I am already next to him. I come to an abrupt stop in time and he gets into my lane oblivious to the world. I gave a little beep of the horn (a motorbike horn is not a very imposing sound) and he then notices me and kinda gives a bit of a wave, implying he’s sorry (I think). Oh well, once again no harm done, thats why you have to be defensive driving your bike I guess.

1 minute later. I am going into the back parking lot of my shop. You have to turn a blind corner to the back which is no big deal since its one way. Well, you guessed it. As I’m just going to the back of a shop some moron in a welding truck comes cruising around the corner almost hitting me. He stops apologizes and leaves. Not a fun past 5 minutes.

Thats the background. The next morning, I’m going to the bank. I have to go through a 4-way stop. I am turning left and a fellow in a Yukon directly opposite me is going straight. He gets to the intersection slightly ahead of me so he goes first, as he should. So, after he goes, I pull out to do my left. Just as I am getting into my turn this ass clown that was behind the Yukon floors it and litterally cuts me off. I barely stop in time, misses my by a foot. I’m pissed. I’m yelling at him “Hey! Watch it!!!” and the like. What does he do? He swears at me! This 50ish year old fucker. Thats it. I burn a u-turn and meet up with him at the light thats about 50 meters down the street. I tear him a new one right there and seriously considered boot fucking the door of his car. I was choked. He says “But I stopped!” I remind him its a 4-way stop and continue cursing. Anyhow, after about 10 seconds of chewing him out I continue.

Today, one day later, on my way home at lunch I get behind another ass clown in another Intrepid. We’re both in traffic going about 60-70 Kph. Bear in mind I’m still riding my motorcycle. Mr. Anal-ooze decides he’s going to clean out his car while in motion and throws a handful of paper/garbage out the window, hitting me and the bike. He then proceeds to change lanes without signalling (just to piss me off more, thats a pet peeve of mine). I get to the light and say “Hey! Its not the most polite thing to throw your garbage out the window when your driving… that shit hit me, you know?” To his credit, he said “sorry”…although it didn’t seem very genuine. I would have left it at that. He then pipes up “Well its not very polite to swear”. Oh, “fuck you” I say, or something else to that respect… “Your just a littering asshole that doesn’t know how to drive.” He comes back “No, you’re the asshole”. And no kidding, it went back and forth with “No, you are” about 3 times. After I realized that, I just sat there laughing at him. That really seemed to get him mad… so he swore one last time and squeeled away. I once again seriously considered following him into the bank parking lot on “Chatting” with him.

Well, I guess thats about it… so far. I worked out tonight real hard and that took some of my aggression. I’m going to try to calm down and not make any confrontations anymore. I’m not scared of most people, but like I mentioned earlier I’m sure with my luck I’m gonna start beaking off at someone and its going to turn out to be Mike Tyson or some god damn thing. I also want to apologize if I seemed a little short fused on these boards for the past couple of days… I think that if the people I am refering to are reading this they know who they are. I usually try to be a happy/easy going person but my nerves have been a bit on edge lately.

Anyhow, I would like some opinions. Was I totally out of line with those 2 confrontations?

This was a bit longer than I planned… :slight_smile:

2

I wouldn’t say that you were out of line (especially in the second case) but I would say it was mostly pointless and an unnecessary risk.

Beyond reminding the guy to be that thrown trash goes somewhere there wasn’t much you could accomplish by arguing. Potentially you could have run into one of those wackos that shoots people in situations like that.

One of my better traits (I think) is my ability remain completely sanguine, regardless of the idiocy I find on the streets. For the most part I think it best.

Chasing down the guy that ran the stop sign was a bit excessive, though.

3

Ahhh… I love it. I can’t do it myself (my husband would kill me) so I’ll live vicariously through you doing the things I want to do. Probably it isn’t smart to confront people, but it makes ME feel better to know that SOMEONE is doing it. Assholes need to be told that they’re assholes. I firmly believe that.

4

I, actually, think you were perfectly reasonable. Additionally, I would have to disagree with obs and say that, especially in the case of vehicle vs. cycle, people sometimes need a sharp wake-up. I’m not saying a punch in the nose, just a reminder that they can’t go around, blithely driving all over the damn roads.

Actually, that applies to car vs. car, too. Too often, I see vehicles being driven in a manner so unsafe, it’s amazing to me that they have any paint or original shape to the body panels. Switching lanes without signaling is a biggie. I call it “lane-diving,” and it is a pastime here in Kentucky (specifically Louisville.)

People have gotten so complacent, so lackadaisical in their driving (cell phoners, anyone?) that the streets and highways are truly a dangerous place for anyone not driving defensively. I dodge, literally, upwards to half a dozen accidents on my way to and from work, a whopping 11 mile each way. Were it not for my expecting the other people to do something stupid- to dive into my lane, to speed up as I am overtaking them only to slow down again once I draw alongside with nowhere to go (box-in much?), to simply swerve into my lane or straddle it all along, to turn right on red even though there are three, count’em, three signs reading “No turn on red” scattered around the turn lane and then to turn right from the left-hand-lane (!?!) or, and this one is great, to fully stop at the end of an exit (or entrance) ramp of a highway because there is a yield sign, never mind that there is an entire lane for you, and not a merge.

Seriously, I hate other drivers and treat each and every one as though they are about to purposely attempt to crash into my car. It’s savced me more times than I can count. Because of this, when I hear that someone has given a little back to some jerkoff that can’t seem to remember to stay between the lines or wait for their turn at a light, well, I applaud them.

Good for you, bernse, ya done well.

5

you are going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and someone might get hurt-once a guy was waving some tool at me out of his window after i flipped him off for tailgating-i then realized that this guy could be any freak who wouldnt hesitate to open my head with that tool-let him tailgate-see what i care

i read a story by a psychiatrist who treated violent parolees and his patient came in 10 minutes late and very upset-he told the shrink some guy flipped him off after someone cut someone off and he was just following the guy, waiting for him to exit the highway so he could kill him
he told the shrink the guy had no idea he was still following him and after 10 minutes he snapped out of his rage and got off the highway, turned around and went back to his appointment
the shrink said the guy never knew how close he had come to dying that day if he had exited that highway 2 minutes earlier and his patient had gotten to him
there are nuts out there-be careful

just make the sign of the cross-they laugh and realize they screwed up

6

Yeah, people not using their turn signals when making a lane change pisses me off too.

If you get tired of being surrounded by moron drivers, this may help…buy a used Ford Police Interceptor or Crown vic and then paint it the color that your state uses for their highway patrol cars. In my case, grey in Ohio. People will usually think you’re an undercover cop and will think twice before disengaging their brains.

Another pet peeve of mine, besides lack of use of turn signals, is tailgating. There is no need for tailgating, if you’re behind a slow moving vehicle, PASS THEM! If you’re tailgating because you want them to speed up then all you will do is piss 'em off and make 'em go slower.

The only other thing that really pisses me off is when I’ll be going the speed limit (usually I go 5, maybe 10 over) and someone will try to pass me…on a double yellow line. I have a problem with that. One, passing on a double yellow line is a no no. Two, it usually requires me to slow down just because they want to attempt such a manuever on a road that you really shouldn’t pass on. However, if I’m going even just 1 mph under the limit, then by all means, pass me. I think many people abuse the right to pass other vehicles…it’s meant for SLOW moving vehicles.

I usually don’t pass people because it’s almost impossible in a GEO Tracker. When you floor it the wussy 85hp I4 w/ 3 speed automatic just makes a loud buzzing sound. Perhaps that’s why people like to pass me, they see a geo and think, “geez, moron get that toy off the road and leave more room for real cars,” even though I’m actually going the speed limit. You have to think like a truck driver when at stop signs and when making lane changes in that thing.

Pardon me for being a windbag.

Oh, BTW…does anyone else on this board own a tracker? I was wondering if anyone knows what their top speed is.

7

Yesterday on my way home, there was a huge accident about a bloclk from my house. Life flights were out there, fire trucks, cops, the place was a mess. They detoured me 20 minutes out of my way. (I was literally 2 seconds away from my house if I could’ve gone straight…)
When I left again to go to work, I had to go through the accident scene. There was a car, with a shattered windshield from the impact of something hitting it. There was glass and blood everywhere. The first car was a heap of scrap metal (it was once a gorgous 99 mustang…). The second car? A motorcycle.

It sent shivers up my spine. In this day and age, you’re pretty brave to be putting yourself out there like that. Good luck fending off the assholes…

8

and buy a car.

Whatever the causes, you are clearly in a continuing dangerous situation so long as you drive a motorcycle.
It is not your fault, but it looks like you would be much safer in a car, even a small one.

All of these events that you report are warnings to please stop driving the cycle.

Best wishes

9

Let me know so I’ll never move there.

10

I can’t wait unit Tuesday. My Saturn gets out of the shop from my accident and I get to turn in my rental car… a Dodge Intrepid!! I sure don’t want bernse to think I’m some insensitive slob on the streets.

11

I don’t think you did wrong.

<large societal thought>
We are, each of us, part of a society. What we make of that society is a result of how we interact with each other. This includes feedback on our actions. By communicating with those people when their behavior was rude or thoughtless you bring up the level of behavior. Or, at least, you make people aware that they exist inside a society and that their actions have real-world effects.

No man is an island, but many think they are.

So don’t be shy about communicating your displeasure at someone’s actions. Whether it’s thoughtless driving, a parent hitting a child, a politician on the take, or anything. Make them aware that you disprove of their actions and that you (as a representative of society) expect them to behave better in the future.

Stay polite, though. No sense trying to cause bad blood.

I realize that there are some who fear repercussions of making one’s opinion known (violent response from those being corrected) but is it more problematic to allow the level of behavior to remain low?
</large societal thought>

Oof. That was deeper than I thought. I think I have a brain cramp. It’s too early for this.

12

Your feelings in the situations you mentioned are justified. Your actions are not.

Aggressive driving is NEVER the answer. Chasing someone down to chew them out serves no purpose whatsoever, and can cause a whole boatload of problems.

A couple of years ago, two ladies got into a “vehicular argument” (continually passing each other) because one cut the other off. They both took the same exit off the interstate (coincidentally, the same exit I take every day going home from work). Traffic was backed up, so both cars came to a stop on the exit. One lady got out of her car and walked up to the other, yelling about the other driver. The other driver pulled out a gun and shot her. She died.

Think about that the next time you’re tempted to pull up next to someone and rag on them. Sure, they’re just a jerk who can’t drive. Who cares about them? But you’re a Doper. It would be a tragedy for anything to happen to you. It ain’t worth it.

13

I agree with obfusciatrist on this one. Saying something to the guy who through the trash out the window is fine; chasing someone down is excessive. One thing to keep in mind is that you are at somewhat of a disadvantage by being on a motorcycle during a confrontation.

berdollos: :rolleyes:

14

I think you need to adjust your expectations, because you seem genuinely surprised that people drive like this.

Instead of worrying about the way things SHOULD be, start concerning yourself with the way things actually are.

I would enjoy a motorcycle, but I understand how things are, and I wouldn’t risk it. Now, you can beat your head endlessly, and lose sleep over concerning yourself with the way things SHOULD be, but you are just going to get a headache over it.

I’m sorry, but you are the source of your own aggravation.

It’s not pessisism really, it’s called reality-ism…or realism. I see people struggle with daily things because they keep worrying about the SHOULD, and not worrying about reality or being prepared to deal with reality - the result is stress, aggression, confusion and a sense of hopelesness.

For example, I used to live with the naive notion that things worked. Yeah, how stupid of me. I was always diappointed, because at any given time, 5-7 things around me needed maintenance or repair. Now, I expect things not to work. It’s the only thing that keeps me from taking this fucking computer and smashing it into my friggin skull.

But I don’t care, because I know that appliances, lawn mowers, cars, computers just keep selling despite their inherent lack of quality…so the quality doesn’t improve.

Human dolts are much the same: Despite thier inherent lack of quality, someone marries them, fucks them, tolerates them.

People survive life in spite of themselves…

… And they live to torture me another day.

But I expect it, so it doens’t catch me off gaurd, or get me hostile. I just laugh at them.
Now I march onward to post #500. But I expect the boards to be thoroughly clogged. Even though they shouldn’t be…

15

See? This is why I’m letting you drive to chiDope, ts. Apparently you hate the way I drive. :slight_smile: I don’t signal for a lane change, and I sometimes get calls on my cellphone while driving. Since that’s how I sometimes conduct my business, I have to take them. I know, I know. Pull over. Or go hands-free. Nope. If I answer a call in the car, it’s usually just to verify something like a date or a booking. I’m never on there long, and I tend to drive thinking that everyone else is the idiot, so I’m always driving defensively.

16

You go Bernse! Of course, I have told a cop to ‘fuck off’ because he went through a stop sign and nearly killed me while I was on my bicycle.

Although you do live in Alberta, which means that you are more likely to encounter a gun-toting person than I. On the other hand, gun-toting Cdns who actually use their guns while driving only exist in Toronto :slight_smile:

And on the gripping hand, it’s only 4 kilometres to work. You could walk that in 20 minutes…

17

Thanks for your concern for my well being. I am serious. You sound like my grandparents… and that can be a good thing.

To rebute though, I own 2 cars. I don’t drive my Motorcycle because I have to, its because I want to… although I wonder how much longer I’ll want to… :frowning: (It’s a Honda Wing, BTW. Its not the smallest thing on the road…people should be able to see me). Its also cheaper on gas than my Cherokee and fun to ride when its nice and warm out.

And yeah Barbarian, I could walk to work but that makes it difficult for me to go home for lunch and do my banking and other office stuff. Then again, the more I think about it, I could be a stay at home manager. I think I like the sound of that :slight_smile:

Well, it appears my fellow dopers are kinda split. Pretty much everybody (from what I believe I read) figure I was right to be upset, but not everyone feels like I should have bothered to confront them. Personally, I feel that if people are never told by someone that they’re being an idiot doing something wrong, why would they ever change? Thats the way I feel. I know some people are more suprised when a total stranger points something out/says something to them as opposed to a spouse… but thats just what I believe and can’t prove it :slight_smile:

Philster:

I think I understand what you are trying to say and may even agree with it but I don’t think I am the source. The source was getting a McDonalds bag hitting my helmet while driving down the road and almost getting severly injured 3 times since others aren’t paying attention while driving their deadly projectiles. :frowning:

18

prochaine station…

19

learning can be dangerous when dealing with angry drivers.
Look at all the precautions policement take when they stop someone.

Please stop learning by trial and error. Step back and examine the evidence you have already acquired. And then act more prudently.

Sincerely,
Concerned straightdoper

20

I totally agree with you there, but I doubt that being told they’re an idiot by a stranger in traffic is going to convince them of anything. They’ll most likely go away thinking that you’re the idiot.

In my opinion, eveybody thinks that their own driving is perfect and safe. Talking on the phone, arguing with the kids, DWI, not signalling, not checking their mirrors, etc., etc. - it doesn’t matter, they can handle it. Anyone telling them otherwise is by definition an asshole or an idiot.

Don’t sweat it, my friend. It happens to everyone.