Excellently said…but I’m curious: do you feel you’re “not supposed to say this” in Republican-leaning circles, because they’ll deny anything and everything; or, in Democratic-leaning (or just democracy-loving) ones, because it’s a difficult (maybe) truth?
I suspect the latter. As with climate change, most (even the well-informed) tend to hold on to some optimism that we’re not quite past the point of no return, not just yet. You feel pressure to avoid deflating our hopes. Is that about right?
Really it’s all of that. I’m Canadian, so the Rep vs Dem dynamic isn’t quite the same, although we do have a lot of Trumpers up here now, who would not be receptive to any such message.
But yeah, no one on the right wants to hear that they’re the ones destroying democracy, and no one on the left wants to hear we might already have lost.
And I get that - the left finally giving up and admitting democracy is done for is the final step in the plan to destroy democracy. So yeah, to a certain extent, I don’t even want to admit this to myself.
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As said, not everyone is beautiful, in fact, most are not. And most babies are quite ugly but everyone is forced to pretend they are adorable.
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The trick to winning is to tell yourself it’s okay to lose. That makes you more relaxed and takes the edge off. But any sports coach or player would be crucified for saying such a thing out loud.
I don’t like your dogs. They are annoying and ill behaved and you need to train them. And take them somewhere they can run instead of micromanaging them in your backyard.
The A-10 Warthog was obsolete almost as soon as it rolled off the production line.
Got it.
Okay, my contribution to this thread:
My family and I are not religious, but when my 12-year-old son’s friend invited us to his family’s Christmas church service yesterday, I thought it would be good for my son to have some exposure to this common activity of so many people (locally and beyond) – rather like how we “got into” the World Cup (soccer) this past month.
He enjoyed the music okay, but he nudged me and discreetly rolled his eyes during the parts of the service that were about worshipping an individual – especially an individual child who has yet to utter the admittedly insightful and helpful teachings of his later life (and, this being Christmas, the focus was on Jesus as a baby). I whispered that I agreed, but he should try to relax – think of himself as an anthropologist visiting another planet.
Afterwards, to me and his mother, he said he found it to be “basically a cult.” We asked him what he meant, and he described what I wrote above. We told him how “cult” has negative connotations, and is usually reserved for… well… for… hmmm… he’s right! We couldn’t come up with a reason to not describe it as a cult.
But we did make sure he understood it’s better to not say this to people, in most situations – hurt feelings, and all that – sort of like how you wouldn’t tell someone (in most situations) their favorite football team or musical act sucks.
(He just asked me to clarify that he already knew not to say this to people. Yes, that’s true, he did.)
When I told a friend that her dog was out of control, she got mad at me for “maligning her dog.” Actually, she missed that I was maligning her. Nothing wrong with the dog that a some training wouldn’t fix. (And I believe dogs welcome training, as they want to please their owners, the Leader of the Pack.) That was almost five years ago and as far as I know she still has no control over the dog. But we only meet away from her apartment now, which is fine with me.
Something I cannot say: I know a devastating secret about my late husband’s family. I will take this information to my grave.
Ha, ThelmaLou. I once researched my husband’s family on familysearch.org. He has always said that his paternal relatives were all German, but the 1920, 1930, and 1940 censuses all say that they were Russian. Both his paternal grandfather and paternal grandmother were born in Russia, as were a couple of his oldest uncles. I think the family misrepresented their country of origin for political or legal reasons, but who can say.
Since the war in Ukraine started, he has been cursing Russia and Russians. I’m not going to break the news to him; he once told me not to research his family or tell him any family gossip, because he’s estranged from them all and doesn’t want to think about them. Da, honey.
Oh, you can tell us, we can keep a secret!
Did I really just say that? 
Here’s one I’m regifting from a similar thread a little while back:
No, your newborn baby is not cute. It looks just like Winston Churchill.
“Nothing is often a good thing to do and is always a good thing to say.” - Will Durant
Every social system or society the has existed, will exist, or can exist requires a despised out group to function.
The only question is the identity of the out group.
My gf’s mom confided in me regarding something I cannot share with my gf. Nothing bad, just surprising. I’ll take it to my grave if I die before my MIL
I said GOOD DAY SIR!
And no I really don’t wanna see your vacation photos.
Hopefully we are marching slowly and fitfully to a society where hateful assholes are the marginalized out group.
Can you say that in English? You lost me.
“The Grinch Was Right the First Time.”
thank you.
THIS! I don’t want to see pictures (or videos) of your vacation, your children, your grandchildren, or really any of your family. Don’t email them to me, and don’t stick your phone in my hand and tell me to scroll through them.
EXCEPT I will happily look at pictures/videos of your cats and dogs. Especially cats.
Along those lines I’d rather see the scenery than sixty billion photos of the camera holder in various selfie poses with their self proclaimed beautiful friends.