Ok, here’s the story
I was getting my food in the caf yesterday, and was standing next to a rather attractive girl with a excessive amount of gravy(I’m talking a LOT of gravy) on a small amount of mashed potatoes. Well, me being the conversational kinda guy, I said, “Wow, somebody who eats gravy like I do”. She then proceeded to not even acknowledge my existence, which left me with my ego in the potatoes, and the goofiest grin on my face as I stared at her. Now the question is: Should I have said something in reply to my being ignored such as, “Welp, see ya later”, or “Nice talkin to ya” rather loud to keep a little dignity, or just look away and eat it like I did.
P.S. - Please be gentle, I already get it enough from my roommate
Well Wozman you can look at it in different ways. Here stands this really attractive girl. She has doused her potatoes with gravy. You make your comment about the gravy and she’s thinking to herself…oh no…here’s this really cute guy and all he can say is how much gravy I have…he must really think I’m Miss Piggy. She may have actually thought that you were cute…but your remark caught her so off guard that she didn’t know what to say back. I’ve seen that happen before. Then again she may just be a b*** and not deserving of your time or attention. I would have handled it exactly the way that you did. Anything else said to her would have only made her think you really cared what she thought.
I think honesty is important here, so indulge me for a sec.
If someone came up to me a propo nothin’ and said “Wow, somebody who eats gravy like I do”, I’d probably say “Wow, someone who needs their dosage of Paxil lowered.”
IMHO, it’s a horrible idea to point out anything quantitative about the food a woman is eating. This is a gender that stereotypically tends to order salads on a first date so as “not to look like a pig.”
Of course, I personally prefer women who are not only confident enough to order a steak, they’re tough enough to slaughter the cow to get to it. But I digress.
Don’t worry so much about it. In the future, just make sure your pickup line does not involve gravy. Every one of us here has said something royally goofy to an attractive stranger. Those who’ve never looked like a fool are those who’ve never taken any initiative.
Dude, you definitely should have said something. I’m not saying you should have laced into her, but you should have something. Anything. Maybe “Yeah, too much gravy made my grandma deaf, too.”
or try to recover:
“I didn’t just say that out loud did I? Damn, and I bet you would have answered me if I said something suave like ‘Hi,’.”
Of course, I have a girlfriend who loves me for the jack-ass that I am, so how to pick up chics is not advice you want from me. Noonch.
“And on the eighth day, God Created beer
to prevent the Irish from taking over
the Earth.” ~SNOOGANS~
Just a note from a very shy person:
Usually if someone I don’t know says something in my direction, I assume that they are not talking to me. I’m so good at this that often, I actually do not hear the person. To be honest, I’m terrified that either you are talking to me and I’ll have to think of a response, or you aren’t talking to me, in which case a response on my part would make me look like a fool.
So what should you have done? I think you should have made another comment. Not a terribly cross one, but something. If it were me, I probably would have realized by the second comment that you were talking to me, and returned some embarrassed apology about not responding before.
I think Cessandra has hit it on the head. And I hate to discourage creativity, but shy people handle conventional conversation openers (“Hi, I’m so-and-so, aren’t you in my math class”) much better than original ones. Honestly, if I were the recipient of such a remark, I’d probably go into a moment of panic because I couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say about gravy, and end up saying nothing at all.
Go ahead and talk to her again, she probably felt at least as embarrassed as you did.
This is dead-on right, and I’d bet anything this was the problem. Gravy is one of those things a lot of women think they shouldn’t eat, and she may very likely have been worrying that someone would make a comment about it. Then you made the comment she’d been dreading!
You didn’t do anything wrong with your cheery remark, but this is an issue where there are Buttons to be Pushed. She may very well have interpreted your remark as a comment on her weight, whether or not she was at all fat.
Food is a ridiculously complicated issue for many women, especially young ones. While she should have replied just to be civil, you probably freaked her out fairly thoroughly --she may never eat gravy in public again.
Or am I projecting from my own pre-fat-acceptance days?
Catrandom, fat woman who does not fear to eat a Snickers bar in public (anymore)
I have to agree with Cessandra on this one. That sort of thing happens to me enough to recognize it when I see it. Of course, she might not be shy at all, as there is the problem of appropriate response. Somehow, “I like gravy” doesn’t quite seem to cut it, and beating a strategic retreat would definitely save her a lot of trouble. Try again sometime. Just don’t say “Hi, remember me? I’m the weirdo who likes gravy!”
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.