Steve-o: “Yo Shauna… Wanna get yer freak on wit’ Steve-o?”
Shauna: Silence accompanied by a disgusted look.
Man… I thought for sure that would work. I think it was just my delivery. I’ll try again tomorrow night.
Better yet… I think I’ll wake her up and try my line again. Perhaps if I deliver it louder this time?
YEAH! Louder is always better! 
NM : “You have a rather Celtic look, do you have any Irish in you ?”
Female : “No.”
NM : “Want some ?”
Ah, I do have “not getting any” down to a fine science my friends . . .
Gee Steve-o, I don’t know what the problem is. That line ALWAYS works with me!!! LOL
Be me.
–Tim
waitress: “Hi, welcome to the restaurant, may I take your order?”
guy: “Yeah, I’d like a double cheeseburger, a large fry, and a large soda.”
waitress: “Would like anything else today, sir?”
guy: "Sure, I’ll take an order of you, with that please… and could you make that to go?"
My customers used to order “Two of you, with nothing on them”. They didn’t get any either!!
To keep y’all up to date…
The wife actually seemed angry on top of looking disgusted this time. 
Upon confirmation of my volume theory from B_Line12, I woke her up. I figured that there was no point in increasing my decibel level in increments after each failed try. Why not just give it all I’ve got, and get the inevitable over with.
So, I busted into the room (women like to be surprised… right?), and yelled “Yo Shauna… Wanna get yer freak on wit’ Steve-o?”. What dame could resist… right? Humph… I guess she can.
I just can’t seem to figure out what went wrong. Maybe it was the already being naked with only a bandana tied around my forehead, or perhaps she didn’t like me turning on the light when she had been sleeping.
If you can believe this, she actually told me to “Get OUT!!!” after I went into “beg mode”, and offered to give her money. What’s up with that?!? I mean… really… who doesn’t like money?
I guess she’s just frigid. Man… I really got a bum deal in this marriage. :rolleyes:
No no no, mahman, you’re goin about it all wrong.
Women need allure.
Women need romance.
Women need seduction and foreplay.
Your folly was that you didn’t employ the never-fail line of
“Suck me, beautiful.”
Works every time!
You could just pretend to be me…it seems to work quite well!!
Where have I seen you before?
I’ve seen you somewhere, now where was it?
Lemme think…oohhhh, I know. I saw your name next to “GODDAMN!” in the dictionary.
Exit DW stage left…
DreamWorks, did you think I wouldn’t see that? You have shamelessly stolen my line, which I shamelessly stole from Will Smith. I will expect a royalty check.
Also, this thread is called how not to get some. That line works every time.
dragonlady said:
:practicing: “Yo Sh-dragonlady… Wanna get yer freak on wit’ Steve-o?”
Why isn’t that working? 
hey irishman, stick to the monster under the bed. You were doing better there. LOL
[moment of pride]Lexi, the “Suck me beautiful” guy, Chris Klein, is a Lambda Chi. He also went to HS with a good friend of mine. I would have gone to HS with him, had I stayed in the area.[/moment of pride]
–Tim
I’d say the least successful approach would be that suggested by George Carlin–running into NOW headquarters and saying, “Hey! Which one of you cute little cupcakes wants to come home, cook me a nice meal, and give me a blow job?”
Dr. J