The Packers are America’s Team. Rooting for anything else is immoral.
At least in my neighborhood.
IncidentS. Go Pack.
Here are three non-Roethlisberger reasons for rooting for the Steelers.
- Political
The Steelers play in Heinz Field which is named for the H.J. Heinz Company. H.J. Heinz’s grandson H. John Heinz III was a Representative and Senator from Pennsylvania whose tragic early death silenced a measured voice in American politics. The man should have been president.
Appleton, Wisconsin, just a stone’s throw from Green Bay was home to one of the most notorious American politicians of the 20th Century, Joseph McCarthy.
- Ornamental
The Steelers must win because the team already added the “One for the Cock” in 2009 (although perhaps “One for the Labia” would be more appropriate for Steeler hotties of the distaff persuasion). Everyone knows that it’s gaudy to wear multiple rings on only one hand (and nether regions) and leave the other replete of decoration. The Steelers need to start filling up the other hand.
- Aesthetics
Odd numbers are usually bad according to feng sui. Currently the Steelers have six Lombardi Trophies and the Packers three. For two years the Steelers have been in an aesthetically unpropitious position of having an even number of trophies. A Steelers victory tomorrow would return serenity, return the team to an auspicious situation according to feng sui. A Packers’ victory would leave both places in and aesthetic morass.
You must root for the Steelers, grasshopper.
The Raiders are so bad, they have to play dirty to lose.
Well in the end the uniqueness of a publicly owned team pushes me over the edge. I only wish more teams would do that.
Also a fun catchphrase. So Go Pack Go!