Well it’s almost time to watch my annual football game again! I don’t care about sports at all, but I do always feel compelled to watch such a gigantic cultural event. It is fun to understand all the tweets that night and nod in acknowledgment when people bring up their favorite commercials the next day. I only have a basic working knowledge of the game, but it’s enough to follow one game a year at least.
I used to make it a point to just not watch the game and do the thing where I tried to see how long I could go into the next day without hearing the results, but the answer always ended up being until I came into contact with another human, so it got old.
In recent years I’ve found it more fun just pick a side according to some arbitrary reasoning and just go with it. For instance I rooted for the Patriots the one time because I thought it would be cool for a team to have a perfect season, last year I went for the saints because I used to live kinda close to there and it was a nice inspiring story and all that. Basically any reason to create a storyline in my head that makes me care a little.
The problem this year is that I have no attachment to either team, and I absolutely have no preference between the cities of Green Bay and Pittsburgh. Hey I like them both! I need some little outside morsel to cling to. A hero or a villain or something. Is one of the coaches like super charitable or something? Is one of the players a huge jerk? Otherwise I’ll just have to pick whoever has the cooler looking uniforms.
So I ask someone to pitch their team to me. I hope someone can give me something to work with here, and in return they will have one more fan sending out good karma to their side. Also my gratitude.
As much as I hate the idea of Green Bay winning a Superbowl, they are alot more appealing than Pittsburgh. I’m saying this as a long suffering Vikings fan that is not looking forward to having it thrown in my face for the next year.
I dont have anything against Pittsburgh or their fans, but Roethlisberger is pretty much a classless drunken idiot. Given his behavioral track record, and the fact that I have 3 daughters I wouldnt want within a hundred miles of him, I cant root for him at all.
I know people in Pittsburgh who claim that Roethlisberger doesn’t tip and constantly wants comps at bars and restaurants, claiming that he brings in so much business because people want to go where he goes that the establishment will end up ahead.
You know usually I’d rather be for something than against something. But if this Roethlisberger is really as bad as all that, I think my decision is pretty well made.
There’s still time on the clock though. If the rest of the Steelers spend all their spare time at soup kitchens and orphanages now would be the time to let me know.
ETA: If you want a positive reason to root for the Packers, it’s because they have the best owner system in the league – they’re owned by their shareholders, a.k.a. their fans. If only all teams would do that…
Naturally, Roethlisberger is going to jump to mind first. But let’s not forget they have Heinz Ward, who is a fantastically smiley ultra-nice guy who also loves to lay out blatantly dirty hits as often as possible (and then play up his smiley nice-guy act when called out on it), James Harrison who will make every attempt to level a concussion-level helmet-to-helmet hit on Aaron Rodgers this Sunday; and Flozell Adams who is quite likely the biggest scumbag player in the league – his skills have long since deteriorated to the point that he’s no longer an effective player, so he makes up the difference by simply playing as dirty as possible.
Roethlisberger has been discussed in many threads on the Dope. Whatever. He’s a punk, but I like to believe that he’s innocent of his alleged crimes until proven guilty, and if nothing else, he’s trying to redeem himself now. There’s a lot of talk about the change in his attitude and behavior since last spring.
Believe me, the city was very unhappy with him, but he’s slowly clawing his way back into Steelers fans’ hearts.
If you’re concerned about charitable acts, Polamalu himself nicely cancels out Ben.
And you should root for the Steelers because they’re the better football team. Who cares if the quarterback tips his waitress?
Obama appointed the owner of the Steelers as the US Ambassador to Ireland.
R-berger is innocent. Haters are the only ones still clinging to “the incident”.
Troy Polamalu is universally loved. He’s an elite superstar but always has a positive attitude and is very dedicated to his family. And then there are the commercials! “You asked with your eyes, Trent. You asked with your eyes.”
Pittsburgh is known as a road team. We have the most geographically diverse fan base of any team in any US sport. Wherever you go, there we are. Sometimes, in away games, Steeler fans outnumber home fans, like in Washington and Tampa Bay. So if you pick the Steelers, you’re in good company.
If the Steelers win, I think we can call them a dynasty team for this century. It’ll be their third Super Bowl victory. That’s interesting, and therefore something to cheer about. If Green Bay wins, well…then nothing really special happened.
For many years, the Packers had a quarterback named Brett Favre. You may have heard of him. He was a monumental tool. A few years ago, he began doing an embarassing dance where he’d “retire” after every season, suck up all kinds of fawning attention, then “dramatically” unretire once all the hard pre-season work was over and start the whole cycle again.
Except the Packers also had a backup quarterback, a guy who supposed to be a high draft pick but dropped significantly in the draft for reasons that always seemed kind of vague but insubstantial. And every year for 24 consecutive years (my memory may be hazy on the exact number), the Monumental Tool would retire and the young backup would figure this was his chance, and then the MT would come back and the young backup would shut up and do his job.
And then, one year, a magical thing happened. MonTool pulled his usual routine, but this time, the Packers said - not in so many words, but they didn’t have to - “you are a giant tool, and now you’re old and not really very good anymore, and we’re going to go with young backup.” And MonTool pissed and moaned and cried and whined and wheedled and then abandoned the team with whom he had built his career for an indirect trip to that team’s eternal rivals. He wanted to end up on the rival team for no reason other than that the Packers didn’t bow and scrape and therefore hurt his Monumentally Tooly Feewings.
And now here we are. Young backup has been extremely successful. If the Packers win this Super Bowl, it will validate the decision the Packers made to cut ties with MT, reward a good player who behaved well under annoying circumstances, and - most importantly - be a total F.U. to one of the most obnoxious men who ever played the sport.
So Go Packers!
P.S. Roethlisberger totally did it. He’s legally innocent, but fortunately I am not a court.
I really don’t care about sports and won’t watch the game but I will route for Green Bay because I was born in Wisconsin. So you should route for Green Bay because Wisconsin* gave the world me.
Also, when I think of Wisconsin I think of cheese and beer, YUM! When I think of Pittsburgh I think of … well, pits. Which would you rather have?
