As a part of my counseling master’s program I have to attend a recovery meeting, and I am a little nervous. I’ve never been to a meeting like this, and I’m going to have to write a short reaction paper to it. Of course I know it will be anonymous and you can’t give me any major details, but I feel weird going into this blind. Is there any words of wisdom or advice anyone can give me to better prep me for this? All the directions we were given was to call ahead, and when the time comes to introduce ourselves, we are to say, “My name is Meagan, I am a Counseling Graduate student and I will be observing.”
I wouldn’t even say that. You don’t even have to say anything. Some people wouldn’t be comfortable with a non-addict in the room. Actually, I would recommend a recovery group for family members of addicts.
My recovery groups have observers all the time, it’s not a big deal. You can introduce yourself when everyone else does, and then stay quiet throughout. People are friendly. You’re looking for an Open meeting. Closed meetings don’t allow outside observers. But most meetings are Open.
Everything’s very scripted, so that ritual might be interesting to you.
Are you planning to go to an AA or NA meeting, or something different?
I don’t know how I would have felt having an observer in an AA meeting…will you be using your observations as part of research or a paper? Do you need to have the participants sign anything?
I attended an AA meeting with some friends who were members. I asked them how I should introduce myself. They said I should say, “I’m a normie.”. So I did. Everyone else was okay with that. Except that young woman in the corner who was sitting with her arms and legs crossed whose body language was screaming loudly “I’m better than you people! I don’t have a drinking problem! I’m only here because a Judge ordered me to attend a meeting!”
I was at a meeting where someone just like you attended. She came a little early, said she was doing this as part of her program and if we minded. We told her it was fine. She was really cool. Pretty much made herself invisible.
As others say, make sure that it’s an open meeting. f you can call ahead, can you talk to the group leader? They would be the best to tell you anything specific about their group.
I’ve gone to two meetings to support my daughter. Everyone is very nice and welcoming. At the first one, when they asked if there were any out of towners, or people in their first 24 hours, they also asked if there were any “non alcoholics” in the room. I raised my hand and said hi. Everyone said “hi”
The next meeting they didn’t ask and I didn’t have to say anything.
I found the meetings very interesting. As a militant atheist, I didn’t even mind all the “higher power” crap. I am ashamed to admit I was way too negative about AA all my life, yet actually ignorant of the reality of the situation. I will say it’s probably not for everyone, but it clearly helps a lot of people stay sober.
I certainly would not say anything. I also would not be seen to be taking notes or recording what anyone else says with some recording device.
You can certainly slip a tiny recording device into your purse in such a way that it remains unseen. But I don’t think that would be much value. You will remember if anything shocking is said.
Just try to dress like an average person - no outlandish clothing or make up or anything like that.
Just say little or say nothing. There is no need for you to ever introduce yourself. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, just stand up and walk out. You don’t have to answer any questions.
P.S. They are probably much more scared of you than you are of them.
I attended both an AA and an NA meeting that a good friend of mine goes to. He told me to just say, “I’m with a friend,” and to otherwise refrain from participating. From that point on, everyone pretty much ignored me. As with Procrustus, just by sitting and listening I learned how much the general public really has no idea what really happens, and how much misinformation there is.
