Generally, I like potatoes. You can put them in front of me in almost any form and they are a welcome part of the meal - just as long as you don’t mash them. Mashed ‘taters lack any palatable texture to me. They’re just utterly pointless. If you’re looking for a potato based gravy/butter delivery vehicle, fine, hash brown the things. Better yet, bake them whole. There’s a family owned lunch counter near me that serves a proper chicken fried steak (hand breaded and pan fried to order), real mashed spuds, real gravy, salad, Texas toast and choice of veg every other Friday. This is a proper plate of ol’ country home heart disease but I always ask for gravy on home fries instead of mashed because it’s just better.
I submit that there is no justifiable reason to mash potatoes. Any meal that would welcome a side of mashed would be better served with potatoes plus crispy goodness and I defy you to prove me otherwise.*
*This statement clearly proves that I’m stunningly full of crap (and gravy) but I really just don’t see any reason for mashed potatoes.
The beauty of well-made mashed potatoes, for me, is that every bite is consistent. I load them up with butter, salt, and whatever milk-based dairy product we have (I find light cream works best). Most people won’t make them that way themselves but they love when I make them because they can pretend that they don’t know how much butter I put in them.
I don’t enjoy baked potatoes because I have to work to try to get all of the flavors in every bite. I always end up with a bunch of potato with nothing on it. Plain potato is boring. Roasted potatoes are good as long as they were salted properly and cooked thoroughly. Undercooked potato sucks. Even if I have 10 potatoes and just one is undercooked that one sucks enough to ruin the immense goodwill which the others gave their lives for. Au gratin potatoes should just fuck right off.
You also can’t make a good volcano out of hash browns.
I like mashed potatoes, especially the ones I make myself. I don’t have a wordy “defense” for them, I just think they’re yummy as does the rest of the family.
If it’s the *texture *you find off-putting, can’t help you much there, other than to suggest you use really, really starchy potatoes. I use big baking ones that I peel, cut into cubes, and boil in salt water. Once they’re cooked all the way through, I drain them, let the steam evaporate, and then mash them with thick cream or evaporated milk and gobs of butter, until they’re a lovely dense amalgam that sticks to my serving spoon. Mmmmmmmmmm! :o
They’re even better with parsley, chives, sauteed bits of onion, and/or baked garlic mashed right in with them. Some chefs season them with nutmeg, but I’ve yet to try that. Just a little salt and pepper, if needed.
I can only assume you’ve gone through life so far without ever having been served *good *mashed potatoes, because they are quite lovely when made right.
And I’d be much happier with just the pre-mashed, boiled potato cubes. Toss with a bit of butter, salt, pepper and parsley, maybe a bit of parm and serve. Give me something into which I can bite! That velvety smooth sameness just doesn’t strike any meaningful chord with me.
Yeah, well I’m not Richard Dreyfus and my Grandma would smack him silly with a steel ladle for wasting food.
Mashed potatoes are like scarecrows; they’re outstanding in their field:p
But seriously, mp are a separate entity and are just right for certain things and not allowed for others. Nobody wants a mountain of potato fluff whilst they’re eating a cheeseburger. Conversely, it is verboten to have french fries with roasted turkey.
Regarding baked potatoes, Gus Gusterson’s comment had me wondering if I’m eating them incorrectly. I cut them open and plop some butter and salt and then use my forth to smoosh it all together, hence making what is essentially mashed potatoes in the skin bowl.
This. The key is to make them dense. It took years for me to convince the wife that mashed potatoes didn’t have to be silky smooth and light. They should have enough heft to them that a spoonful launched at your sister should snap her head back a bit. Fancy-ass potatoes like Joël Robuchon made are an Abomination.
Mashed potatoes are just fine, if not my favorite. Their main advantage is that they’re quick and don’t require a lot of watching: peel and cube the potatoes and then boil them for 10-15 minutes.
I like them with lumps in them, which gives them a little texture.
To the OP, I do not need to prove you wrong here any more than I would need to prove to you that the sky is blue. These things simply are. Your bizarre proclamation puts you in league with Flat Earthers and Scientologists.
Bad mashed potatoes exist, but like bad pizza, they are almost invariably salvageable through liberal application of butter, salt, gravy and heat. Great mashed potatoes are the highest form of the potato arts.
If a potato preparation exists that needs serious discussion it’s cold potato salad, especially of the German variety. I submit that the further a potato preparation moves away from mashed potatoes, the worse it gets. Mashed is simply the apex.
Yes. Specifically, mashed potatoes are meant to be eaten in the same bite with something else, like roast turkey or chicken-fried steak or shepherd’s/cottage pie.
This is the solution the OP is looking for. Sometimes they’re called “rustic style”. (Or maybe that’s just what I call them.) Sometimes I’ll even leave some or all of the peel on the potatoes, scored before cooking so that they end up as little bits of peel and not a huge lump. They say most of the vitamins and minerals are in the skin, so why not keep it in for that reason as well as texture?
