I just remembered the line from Boeing, Boeing (Tony Curtis and Jerry Lewis, 1965), where Tony’s French fiancée ate soufflé for breakfast while his German fiancée ate Knockwurst: “Soufflé iss for people mitout teeth!”
(His English fiancée, of course, had kidneys for breakfast. “They’re good for the complexion.” Ew! 
)
Christmas dinner is a stressful affair because my mom always insists on making mashed potatoes. Doesn’t matter that there will be mac and cheese, dressing, corn soufle, and dinner rolls on the table for folks to carb up on. She believes that we can’t celebrate Christmas without mashed potatoes. So she puts me to work peeling potatoes when I’d love nothing more than to help her with something else.
I wouldn’t mind this if people actually ate the mashed potatoes. But they always go untouched and then tossed into the garbage. I think if they were the only starch served, then we would eat them. But who is going to put mashed potatoes on their plate when they can have baked mac and cheese? There ain’t enough gravy in the world to put mashed potatoes on the same level as baked mac and cheese.
Soufflé iss for people mitout teeth! 
The difference between mashed potatoes and other ways of preparing potatoes is precisely one of texture. If you don’t like the texture of mashed potatoes, then, that’s pretty much definitive: They’re just not for you. No shame in that.
I’ve never understood why I ought to be upset that different people have different tastes than me. That’s a good thing: It means we’re not competing for the same foods. There’ll be more mashed potatoes left for me, and more of whatever it is that Alpha Twit likes for him. Win-win.
OK, this post cracked me up, but I’m not sure I’m laughing for the same reason you are.
Bless you, Alpha. Everyone here at Chateau Pepperwinkle loves 'em mashed, but I cannot abide 'em.
Does it have anything to do with Vladimir Nabokov?
Amen to the deity I have serious doubt about MONSTRO! I do have problem though with your post. Why on Earth are you discarding the uneaten mashed? That’s just wrong on so many levels. Granted, I’ve got no use for mashed spuds on my dinner plate in their original form but they’re pure leftover gold right there. Save them for tomorrow’s breakfast and I’ll make some killer latkes and I dare you not to beg for seconds. Still got leftover mashed for dinner? Sounds like gnocchi time to me. Pan fry them with butter, onions, garlic, salt pepper and sage and as Babish says “it’ll join the clean plate club.”
And when all else fails -
I’ve got no great problem with shepherd’s pie but it doesn’t do much for me either. You can improve it by using a good short pastry crust to turn it into a pit pie or replacing the mashed with tator tots. Granted this turn it from traditional Brittish Isle rustic cookery into pure white trash/cafeteria “stuff that will fill you up if you can keep it down” food. It has all the style and elegance of an anvil, and is almost as dense but damn it’s tasty.
There is never any left over mash in my house. I’ve had a can of salmon at the ready for such an occasion for quite some time now. Sure, I can make Salmon Cakes with cakes-specific made potatoes but it just done not come out the same unless the potatoes have been half eaten and left in the fridge for at least 24 hours.
I’ve never been a big fan of mashed potatoes either until about a year ago when I suddenly started to crave them.
I don’t know why, but now I really enjoy them. Gravy or not.
I don’t know if there is form of potato that I do not enjoy. From fried to soup, I likes 'em all.
Mashed taters are not my everyday fave, but can really be enjoyable with the right meal.
And with the leftovers, we make potato pancakes!
mmmmmmmpotatopancakes
If there are no mashed potatoes what am I to do if it is that kind of party?
CMC fnord!
I prefer using a ricer. I usually dislike whipped potatoes because PEOPLE DON’T KNOW WHEN TO FUCKING STOP BEATING THEM! Or they add too much liquid and they turn to mush.
Or Fonize: Great mashed potatoes, Mrs C. Just like they make at the diner, nice and stiff.
You just haven’t added enough butter yet.
I beg to differ… that is what I made for dinner last night (on purpose). Burger grilled over an apple wood fire with a side of mashed potatoes with lots of butter, bacon bits, and salt and pepper.
Exactly how I eat mine. Lumpier than mashed but essentially the same with the bonus of the crispy skin to eat.
This and the others who are upset about au gratin or scalloped potatoes (not the same thing) I just don’t get. How can you go wrong adding cheese and/or dairy to potato slices and baking it?
What the hell do YOU know about potatoes?
Part of my problem with these is that they are so often done badly. Cheap, fake cheese tops the list of insults here. I love good, rich potato casserole but if you’re going to eat the calories, don’t half ass it. Use good ingredient, good technique and make it a proper treat.
I guess I can give you that. If all you have had is from a box they aren’t amazing, but still not horrible in my opinion. About a month ago we were in Chicago and went to Maple and Ash (2 Michelin Stars) and the potatoes au gratin were one of the highlights of the meal.