How does N3 KNOW that worms are not at all delicious (or was she referring to eels)? :eek: 
That was a question that we discussed at length – how does she know? Worm tasting as day care, perhaps? Word on the street among the three-year-old set? She refused to elaborate, but she was very certain of her opinion – but then, like her mom and Auntie, she’s usually very certain in her opinions. 
Yesterday my 6yo asked me to do something later, and I said, “Roger!” Then I realized I had to explain: “‘Roger’ means I understand and I’ll do it.” She responded, “Right - ‘capisce.’” Evidently she’s been watching gangster movies or something!
Also yesterday, after waiting for about 35 minutes in the exam room for the doctor to administer big sister’s physical, our 19 month old had had enough, and decided the only way to deal with the boredom was to lie down on the floor and masturbate. I can’t say she was wrong.
Ooh, not mine. My girlfriend.
She took her 6 year old to Disney World where he proceeded to cheer all things Mexican. They drove by a South of the Border and he’d cheer, “Yay! Mexico!” They bought a straw hat and he said, “Vive Mexico!”
“When he cheered the South American part of Small world with ‘Yay! Mexico!’ I finally had to tell him: Grant, we’re Ecuadorian, not Mexican.’”
When my 43 year old daughter was 26 months old, my wife have her younger brother a bath and said to our daughter, “We’re going for a walk later, but we have to wait till Adam gets a little dryer.” A few minutes later my wife heard her prancing around the living, chanting in perfect trochaic feet (save for the iamb at the end of the second line):
Have to wait till Adam gets a little dryer;
Have to wait till Adam gets a little washing machine.
None of us has the foggiest idea whether it was a conscious pun or she had really misunderstood.
My grandson, now a month short of eight on a routine medical exam right around his fifth birthday: The pediatrician asked if he could print his name. My daugher-in-law said sure he could. So the pediatrician asked him to demonstrate. And he did, but seeing that she was sitting across her desk from him printed it upside down and backwards so she could read it right side up.
Now that’s talent!! :eek:
That’s a hilariously great punchline there!
And @ **Hari **
I remember teaching myself that skill in high school and being so proud of it, and he could do that at 8??? Wow! :eek:
Longtime ‘lurker’ but this great thread brought up a memory I’d love to share. I moved in with my brother about 10 years ago to help him take care of his kids (I have none) when his wife left him. I was walking my nephew (9) back to school after lunch (small community, kids still came home for lunch). Dead of winter, and after we bundled up and left the house, he looked back at it and said, “Aunt Pam, I love this house. It’s the big house that loves us.”
I cried all the way to school.
When my nephew, now 18, was 5 he had a UTI or maybe he just had to pee a lot. We’re not sure, but it was not too fun for him apparently. So, a few weeks later, we went out to his family’s summer house and his symptoms came back. I know they did because he came walking down the street towards me yelling “Stupid fucking urine! I have my disease again!”
My 10 year old is going through puberty early and claims he’s going to raise his hand at boy’s night (where you learn about “ball hair”) and say, “I already have pubes. Can I leave?”
My son’s name is Michael. My wife was taking him for a walk down by a pond near our home. A pair of ducks swam by, a male and a female.
My wife says, “Look, Michael - a mommy duck and a daddy duck.” He looks at them for a moment.
“Where’s the Michael duck?”
Same son. We adopted our daughter when Michael was about three. He and I were playing trucks in the upstairs hallway, my daughter was napping. It was about three weeks after she had arrived.
She wakes up and begins to cry to be taken out of the crib. My son sighs in exasperation.
“When is that baby going to go home?”
I said, “She is home - she is staying with us forever.”
“SHE IS?!?!?!?!!”
He was just appalled.
They have made it up, more or less, over the last seventeen years or so.
Regards,
Shodan
IntentNephew just turned 2, and he loves playing on swings. You can push him on swings for 30 minutes straight, and he’ll just sit there with a big grin on his face and occasionally laugh.
So yesterday at a park, Nephew was on the swings, and is talking to himself as we push him, saying “Byebye phone, byebye bottle” and other such. My mom says “IntentNephew, do you want to go run in the field with Aunt Intent?” Nephew is quiet for a moment and then, “Byebye Intent!”
When my eldest son was about 3, and I was pregnant with my second, he went through a period of time when he wanted to marry me and regularly called me “wife”, rather than Mom.
We were out shopping at a strip mall one day and he took off down the sidewalk past the store fronts and looked like he might keep going into the roadway at the end of the walk. A concerned older gentleman put out his hand and stopped him mid-flight. I was waddling along several hundred feet behind.
“Where is your mother?” the gentleman asked.
“Oh who knows,” replied my son. “But here comes my wife”.
The gentleman kept him corralled, in part I think, to give me a truly scathing look when I caught up.
I love this story!
My three-year old’s response to the upcoming birth of our baby has been to ask me to call him mommy. He keeps carrying my purse around, wearing my shoes and pretending to be me. My husband finds it very disturbing. Whenever he complains, I remind him that at least he hasn’t tried to marry his daddy yet.
We were getting set to go on a short hike with our daughter L (7 at the time). She was watching me as I got the packs ready when she asked, “Can you bring some old wallets?”
Me:
“Old wallets!!” she exclaims, and pulls out the drawer where we keep snacks…among them Odwalla bars.
It’s not a cute widdle story, but I’m going to brag anyway.
My daughter, she of the brother’s-toothbrush toe cleaning fame, now 17, is on her way back from Lima, Peru, where she participated in an international judo tournament.
Girl is bringing home a gold medal.
YAY for IvyGirl! That’s fantastic.
Link to the story…yep, that’s my girl! (The article has it wrong, she didn’t win a silver, one of the other girls did.)
My 7 year old and his cousin (6 months younger than he is) have decided to get married (they’re technically second cousins, so that’s okay. :)) They have made detailed decisions about how many children they can have (8-she can drive 4 in her minivan and he can drive 4 in his).
At their last visit together in September, they decided that they were going to buy a big farm and have an afterschool program, where kids would come and ride horses. They have intricate plans on how many kids they could handle at any given time and have written to each other (using words and pictures, as they are 7 and can’t spell everything) to firm up these plans. Soon I expect they will take over the world.
The Kidlet (maybe 2yo at the time? thereabouts) had recently been taught that Aunt Nava was Daddy’s sister and Aunt Lilbro was Daddy’s brother, and that Grandma Mymom was Daddy’s Mom and Grandma SiLMom was, well, Mommy’s Mom.
We were meeting at their house for lunch. Lilbro was the last one to arrive; Middlebro (the Kidlet’s Dad) and me greeted him with simultaneous “hey there smurf,” he answered “hey there ancient ones.” And the Kidlet went “oooOOOOOOOO! :eek: You… you are Daddy’s sister and you are Daddy’s brother and - you are her brother too!?” “Yep” “ooOOOOOOO! 
”
He spent the whole meal working out family relationships.
My son was about three and spending way too much time playing with one of those joysticks you plug into the TV that has the vintage video games on it. We told him that soon he’d have a baby brother and asked if he had any ideas for nice names…
“Player Two”