I would avoid the person physically, but I wouldn’t address it with them. We’re stinking meat bags of mostly water, and occasionally our stink level rises to the point of bothering others. This person is an acquaintance, not a partner.
I remember a friend of mine in university had a stinky roommate. That was hell for him. 2 people in a single dorm about the size of a small living room. In cases like that, I would address it.
Bring it up for a vote at the next board meeting. “All in favor of Mrs Crump taking a bath, say ‘aye’.”
If this is your total interaction with her, then I say to do nothing. It’s not your place. If you only see her once per month, then someone from that group is too superficial to bring up this issue.
The person who brings this up should be someone who she’s close to or at least interacts with on a regular basis. The root cause is likely going to involve some deep emotional issues. Without the proper support structure, a note like “Hey, you smell” is likely going to make her go farther into her issues. It would be like telling a depressed person “You’re a bummer to be around.” She probably realizes her life is going off the rails and a note like that would just make her more aware that everyone thinks she’s weird.
As for what to do, maybe look at her social media to see who her close friends are. Try striking up a discussion with one of them to get more background and see if they have any ideas. Maybe they are unaware of the issue and may talk to her.
I read the whole thread and was thinking exactly this.
I wouldn’t say a damned thing. Suck it up once a month and move on.
I used to work with a guy whose breath smelled remarkably like cow manure; I’m not kidding. I know of one other colleague who thought the same, and I’m sure we weren’t the only 2 out of 200 to notice.
ETA: No one said anything.
I was thinking this too that she could be a hoarder. I had a neighbor in my building and she was a hoarder , her niece told me the her aunt had so much crap in both bedrooms that there was no way to get into the rooms . Maybe this woman has her bathroom filled up with junk and isn’t able to get into her bathroom . My neighbor had to sleep in her kitchen on a broken cot and there was very little room to walk in the kitchen. She would put on a ton of cheap perfume to cover up her BO. The niece also told me her aunt her feces all over her bathroom walls ! :eek:
I think someone should try to talk to the woman in private and try to find out if she had any family close by or what are her plans for holidays ,try to find some way to
to see if there is anyone to call . I wouldn’t just come right and ask her questions.
I couldn’t ask my neighbor any questions she would get very angry and upset .
I once had to have a chat with one of my subordinates. She regular smelled unpleasantly. It turns out that her parents had kicked her out, and she was barely making ends meet, so she couldn’t do regular laundry at the laundromat.
She was able to ask a friend on the staff to come over and use their laundry facilities.
It wasn’t an easy conversation to have, but it ended up okay.
I’m sorry, but this made me laugh out loud! 
If your concern is as much (or more) for her welfare as it is for the monthly discomfort of the board, I wonder if there is some 3rd party organization that might make a wellness check on her at home. Many cities have both governmental and NGOs that do wellness checks on the elderly, especially those who live alone. I don’t think you said how old she is but if she’s a widow she probably falls into the purview of some such organization. If it were me, this is the avenue I would pursue, if only because if they do find a problem they also know where to find the resources to help deal with it.
That was sort of my thought (just to round out the suggestions):
“Next on the agenda: Daily Grooming Habits. Mrs. Crump, why don’t you go first?”
…
Otherwise, I agree that the most kind and considerate thing to do is to approach her out of concern for her health/living situation, instead of her scent. Somebody who is close enough to her to have a direct conversation can always say something like, “Mrs. Crumb, how have you been? I’ve been worried because you don’t look well (or, if you prefer, ‘like yourself’) lately. Is there anything I can do?”
That’s more likely to elicit some sort of confession from her that provides insight into her condition and gives a clue as to how to help her than if the person just brings up her odor and suggests that she needs to bathe or launder more.
Things like this should always be done in person, and in private. Not over email, not in writing, not in front of others.
I’ve had conversations with co-workers and friends about their breath or their body odor. I’ve had the conversation with martial arts partners. The only time I’ve carried it beyond them to bosses or instructors is when they refuse to change.
Probably the worst offender was a guy who would come into the dojo to spar, absolutely reeking of body odor. Now, part of that was cultural, the man wasn’t born in this country. But that wasn’t accepted as an excuse for getting that stank all over everyone he practiced with.
I spoke to him about it. He was insulted and refused to listen. I spoke to the instructor, who then spoke to the guy and said the guy had reacted the same way. The next week, more of the same, complaints from other people and the instructor openly told the guy not to show up unless he was clean. No change, the guy kept showing up that way. So the next talk was with the guy’s mentor/trainer, and an active refusal to allow him to spar one night. After that, he showed up clean more often than not, but still occasionally showed up smelling like he hadn’t bathed in weeks. On those occasions, I refused to partner with him, as did others.
Do you know if she lives in a house with well water? We had a broken tank once, and couldn’t afford to replace it for two weeks. Keeping clean was a real struggle. We were buying all our water by filling up jugs at Walmart, and I was bathing in a 3 gallon basin every other day. On the other days, I sneaked onto campus, where my husband worked, and showered at the gym. DH just used the gym, because as staff, he had a right to. I had to go in really early when no one was checking IDs, though. We took our clothes to a laundromat.
It was all because our plumbing was old, and we needed a retrofit, that wasn’t just expensive, but needed to be special-ordered, and installed with special tools, so we had to save the money, order it, wait for it to come in, then schedule the plumber.
We were always having stuff go wrong with that plumbing, and normally we could fix it ourselves, albeit, we sometimes went 24 hrs without running water, because we needed to find the time to do it, or needed a part on the weekend.
Anyway, if she has some kind of plumbing problem she can’t afford to fix, maybe she just can’t keep clean. I wonder if there’s some subtle way you can bring it up, like “Oh, our main line went out, and we had to bring in a plumber, and it was such an ordeal-- plumbing problems are the worst! Don’t you agree, Mrs. Crumb?”
Was he Czech?
We don’t really know anything about her. Mary Lou may decide to do some research.
Let me start by saying I agree that an anonymous email isn’t going to work. It’s better to address the issue in person, moreover she might not get the email (spam folder etc). The thing is though, if she smells this bad, her relationships with ALL already are poisoned. I can guarantee you that EVERY person she meets feels this way about her.
That said, I’d address this tactfully by asking about her well being. “I’ve noticed you aren’t your usual self, that your upkeep is not what it used to be. Is everything ok?”
I don’t agree with not saying anything because you only see her once a month. That’s how people slip through the cracks.
I wonder if the lady is afraid of falling in the shower or tub? She’s older. That’s a very real concern. Does she have balance issues or seem unsteady walking?
My mom doesn’t bath as often. She’s had several bad falls (bedroom) and worries about using the tub at my house. The shower at her home is safer for her to use.
Mid-sixties isn’t that old, ace, or at least the age I’d consider where people start getting afraid of falling in the tub.
Wait, why don’t you combine these 2 thoughts? Approach her with a sly smile and say “Mrs. Crump, Mary Lou and I are going to my place to play in the tub, would you like to join us?”. She gets clean, you get to know her and Mary Lou better - win, win, win!