[Buffy’s been spending A LOT of time with Faith, and is now patrolling with Angel]
**Buffy:**It’s like that kid who stuck his hand in the duck.
Angel: Dyke.
B: (shocked & appalled) Whaaat?!?!?!?
A: He stuck his hand in a dyke - (off Buffys blank look) its a kind of dam.
Wooo, subtext!
And my all-time favourite sight gag is when PhantomWillow walks through the library wall in Halloween, and Giles flips all his index cards.
Willow: I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh. Good for me.
More Jayne: “You guys had a riot - on account of me?” {moved beyond words, hugs two mudders}
Simon, drunk: “I saved a little girl’s leg once. Sewed it right back on. She named her hamster after me.”
Actually, that whole episode:
“I dunno, I think the sculptor really captured his essence.”
“He just looks kind of angry to me.”
“That’s what I mean.”
Buffy: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike (counting on his fingers): Out for a walk. Bitch.
I always loved the final scene in “The Train Job”, where Mal is explaining to a henchman how he wants him to go back to his boss, and tell him how Mal refused to do the job, yada yada. Said henchman gets all moody, at which point, Mal kicks him into the engine of Serenity. Lining up a new henchman,
Mal; Now, I want you to…
Henchman: Yep, go back, tell the boss… I got it.
Or suchlike. I’m tired.
Ah a good example of a S4 inconsistency; Walsh should have called the Initiative down on their asses in a heartbeat, except that we weren’t supposed to know at the time that she was involved with them.
My favorite was when the Trio was tormenting Buffy with a closed timeline loop involving a mummy’s hand at the Magic Shop: something would always go horribly and hilariously wrong when she tried to sell it to this woman; my favorite line was when she accidentally “killed” it and the Trio is on their audio feeds going, “It has ceased to be!” a la John Cleese.
Bingo. That’s my favorite.
Jayne: Do you know what the chain of command is? It’s a chain I’ll beat you with until you do what I say!
And of course,
Jayne: I’ll be in mah bunk.
Mal: “If I had wanted to hear a lot of medical stuff, I’d talk to a doctor.”
Simon: “You are talking to a doctor.”
Anya: Excepting bunnies…
“I’m like a leaf on the wind. Watch me soar.”
Famous last words.
from Firefly (paraphrased)
Jayne: River’s a witch?
Wash: Yes, she has had congress with the beast.
Jayne: She’s in Congress!?
Anything Oz ever said, but especially “We attack the Mayor with hummus.”
One that is a particular favorite of mine is in the Angel episode where Gunn’s gang is just going around slaughtering demons even if they’re not evil. There’s a scene with a very round, harmless demon walking through a sewer drinking a big gulp, and he says “who’s there please?” in just the most hilarious fashion possible.
Absolutely one of my favorites. I rewatched countless episodes to figure out which one had this line.
Mine? Pretty much anything Spike says in “Pangs”:
[petulantly] “I wouldn’t say no to a brandy” and, completely frantic, “A bear! You made a bear!!” as well as the fact that there was an arrow in the turkey in the last scene.
Ahh, this is making me so nostaligic…
From Season 5 of Angel: Illyria is getting all melodramatic when confronted by Spike, Angel and Wes. She asks if Angel would fight to defend the life of Knox (who pretty much killed Fred). Angel gives a gritty speech about how the worst of humanity is better than demons like Illyria. Wes shoots Knox dead without even blinking. Cut to:
Angel: Were you even listening?
I also loved Archduke Sebassis: Worms, sycophants… don’t all grovel at once.
From “Smile Time”: Which one of you short bus bastards turned the CEO of Wolfram and Hart into a puppet?
Best non-verbal has to be the bartender in “Jaynestown” slapping the mudders milk out of Jayne’s hand when he realizes who he’s serving. “The Hero of Canton doesn’t drink that shung-mow-yow… He drinks the best whiskey in the house!” (Cheers from the entire bar)
Giles with a chainsaw - Buffy S4 Halloween episode
From Firefly:
Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time. And the best of ‘em carried this. It’s a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. This is my very favorite gun.
[he holds the gun out to Mal]
Mal: [exclaims in Chinese] You offering me a trade?
Jayne: A trade? Hell, it’s theft. This the best gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It’s miles more worthy ‘n what you got!
Mal: What I got? She has a name.
Jayne: So does this. [caresses the gun lovingly] I call it Vera.
Mal: Well, my days of not takin’ ya seriously are certainly comin’ to a middle.
Dammit, that’s what I came in here to post. I have a LJ usericon of that quote.
Also, I was mentally watching Firefly the other day (as my DVDs are in America, for some cruel reason) and cracked myself up with this:
Inara: Are you in pain?
Mal: Absolutely. I got stabbed, you know, right here.
Inara, grossed out: I saw.
Mal: Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough.
Inara: It wasn’t entirely a disaster.
Mal: I got stabbed! Right here!
Good thing Whedon cult members are crazy enough to provide transcripts for every thing he’s ever made. I’ve tried finding transcripts for non-Whedon shows, and you know what? That shit’s hard to find!
Also, from Serenity:
Kaylee: The hell with this! I’m gonna live!
Awesome! And also:
Oz’s costume.
“If I were Abbot and Costello, this would be fairly traumatic.”
“Don’t taunt the fear demon, Xander”
“Why, can it hurt me?”
“No, it’s just… tacky.”
And finally:
“Actual size.”
Mal: “They say that the mark of of a great man is mercy. {stabs recumbent opponent} So I guess I’m just a good one. {stabs him again} Well, I’m all right.”